3 Key Factors on Speaking up for yourself

Speaking up of yourself – of all the taboo things in the world – this probably ranks amongst the top. As we grow up, the entire society around us seems to impose an unwritten rule around us about speaking against the rules/norms.

• This may be under the notion that you should not speak up to people who are elderly or else it would be construed disrespectful
• Sometimes it is notion that challenging someone’s views is considered rude and inappropriate
• In some cases it even takes you to the extreme that you are often viewed as an anti social element

Regardless of the reasons, there is often a restraint imposed on us to speak our minds. And sometimes, you get a fancy label calling you an activist or a troublemaker.

But, I would regard this as an itch to scratch. If you find something wrong, there is an emotion within you which is asking for being addressed. What do you do about it?

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Why should you think about speaking up for yourself?

It sounds a bit ironic – for a long time I have been considered as a very silent person. Most often I do wonder, there is a fear introduced within which prevents me from speaking up. And this fear is the cultural training of the society.

Sorry, I am not blaming at all. I know, no one has patience to know the source and psycho analyse the problems. We are talking about self improvement and in this discussion – the approach to solution is the only thing which deserves time and patience.

The question is – why should you consider speaking up for yourself? The answer is quite simple really. You know in your gut, heart that if something is wrong – there is a feeling of discomfort or a knot in your throat.

This is nothing but your emotional self asking for an action. And you may try to snub it because of the fear of loss of popularity. But if you know that something is wrong – your mind perceives a threat to your belief system.

And if you don’t talk about it – what chance does it have to come out?

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What happens if you don’t speak up?

Now, the immediate question is – what happens if you don’t speak up? Do your troubles or the emotions of discomfort vanish.

Sure, sometimes we ought to take the stance of silence, but are you willing to take your emotions through a turmoil of not being heard at all?

The society is a weird place, it will bring you into a mould so that it is convenient for the fabric to function. But amidst all this insanity, you have a precious inner self which needs attention.

I am talking about all those precious emotions which just came to your attention without being served. What will these emotions do if they are constantly discouraged without taking any action about them?

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How to Make speaking up for yourself work for you?

See, at the end of the day, these things have to work for you. If speaking up doesn’t come naturally and makes you extremely uncomfortable, you may have to find a different way.

We are not in a world where the only option is to shout at the top of our lungs to be heard. Your emotions, thoughts and the most precious aspect of you is talking about taking an action. That’s all the mind is telling you.

You will need to satisfy this hunger by a response. Now, this is where your tact comes into picture. Your mind is asking you to act on what it feels is unfair. You will now have to find a way to act on it.

These actions can be through a letter, phone call or even sometimes an uncomfortable fight. These things can bubble up and cause a horrible internal disturbance which may not be needed in the first place.

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Making this a natural process

Everything we talk about emotionally is the fabric of who you are as a person. The world doesn’t always work as per our rules. There are times where things don’t work for us.

But these, merely are response to our strategies. If you think your shouting is not being heard, it might call for a different action to speak up. Again, speaking up for yourself doesn’t necessarily mean organising a rally.

It can mean so many other things. Only you can define what these actions can be. There will always be props in your environment to help you. Sometimes, it can be the guise of HR dept or a formal policing agency. No one is better placed than you are to define this strategy. If the world outside is not giving you the response to encourage your speaking up, then you ought to find some other way.

It is never a signal to give up and let go. After all, if you don’t make the change you want – the environment likes status quo. It will remain the way it is and you will learn to live with it. Loosely translated it means that you are giving up your standards which is an awful place to be.

With that in mind, I leave with a beautiful ted talk on how to speak up for yourself? which takes you a little further on some strategies in this direction.