Posted on Posted in bully boss, employee employer relation, personal and professional, personal work

Shout at him, tell him that it is unreasonable, threaten to complain, go and meet the HR… Well there are a lot of things we can do, but before we do, lets think of a few options

1) Identify why he is trying to tell you

Whether he is stuck somewhere and needs your help. Maybe it is in your forte and he needs help. Maybe he thinks you can solve this better than anyone else can. Or in the sheer sense whether he is trying to take advantage of you.

2) Ask him why he wants you to do it

Subtly mention that it is a personal work, just try and check with him as to what is on his mind to seek your help in this. As in why you and no one else to do that job and why he thinks you are qualified to do that better than anyone else. You need not be aggressive and say it is a personal work, you can always say, you are glad to help but you’d like to know why you were the chosen one. Some bosses have the tendency not to explain and expect it to be done, subtly tell him that it is difficult to do so without understanding why.

3) Offer him alternative solutions

Or better yet, use the alternative solution to do the same or get it done through external support and if the bill is small pay and tell him how you got it done. He will get the message that he cannot take you for granted that easily. Or if the bill is large, take his permission first and then get it done externally. And if he still expects you to take it on your time and you hate it, just tell him over a mail that in order to do that youd have to prioritize his work over the office work and tell him how much time it is going to take and that time will be off from the office or the project time. It’s a safe thing sometimes to keep things documented cos you never know when it can come to your rescue

4) Don’t go out of your way to do it

If you feel that you are going out of your way, stretching too much to get his job done – then don’t! You both are working for the company and that’s that of that! You are not working under him, he is your mentor and that’s all. He is supposed to be the person who guides you to do your job better and if he assumes a role beyond that, you have every right to stop him. We do not live in a pre world war world anymore, we need to stand up for our own rights, cos lets face it, there is no one else to do that.

5) Don’t offer lame excuses

I think the bosses have heard a million times about you needing to go to a function or a wedding or a funeral. Don’t give those excuses, give him the exact reason why you are not doing it. It is not that you are doing a crime, you are doing a favour, remember. If you offer a lame excuse, there will be another day and he will ask you another favour and you will run out of these excuses, a better way is to tackle with it and be assertive. Assertive, not aggressive.

6) If it is uncomfortable – tell him so.

And make sure it has no consequence on your work load or the project or his help. Well that happens only if you end up hurting his ego. Do understand that the person you are working with is important to you and his ego sometimes is more important to you than for himself. Try to protect, send a message, be assertive, voice your thoughts but yet take care of his ego. I know it sounds like a lecture but it certainly is possible. It just needs you to raise beyond to the wider thoughts and be the man in control of the situation than the other way round.

And if the whole thing becomes a hobby and you feel that you are being exploited, we all know that the HR is a good last choice and you can always reshuffle but they’d want reasons and proofs. Make sure you have them all, like I said you never know how helpful the documents can be.




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