There was a time when I used to hate talking to people, strangers, making an eye contact with them, trying to understand and relate to what they were saying and trying to figure out what I should be saying when they were saying that.
I wanted to have those conversations, I wanted to have such friends so that I could feel more connected and enhance the quality of my life. However I always seemed to have a reason holding me back, sometimes it would be saying that the other person had an attitude problem, some other time I was busy since I had personal work to attend to instead of trying to meet and socialize with friends, find an opportunity to make those new friends.
In short, I hated this shortcoming of mine, I didn’t want to wallow on it, I wanted to find a solution, I wanted people to like me better. And being a reader, the first thought that came to my mind was to pick up a book “How to win friends and influence people” which perhaps changed a few factors in a very significant way and of course went on to meet a lot of interesting people, face a lot of fearful challenges and above all find ways to make it work and I am very proud to actually say that I have found a way to.
For the question whether I am an introvert or not, I am not really sure as to how to answer. Sometimes I felt very comfortable being by myself where people around didn’t seem to matter, that stage I guess was a good stage of being an introvert.
The other part which longed to gel with people, try to understand and live with and along with them was a stage of being an extrovert which I wanted to be but found challenged quite a few times. But here were a few lessons from turning over to a new leaf of being an extrovert from an introvert
I do understand that it is the most commonly told tip which almost everyone tells you and I do know that you have a wonderful smile as well. Just find a way to get that out, in a non creepy way of course 😉
Take genuine interest
Being with a person is certainly not going to be about you, it is going to be a lot more about the other person that it is going to be about you.
You may ask me as to what you gain out of it, I am not going to give you answers like satisfaction and some other such silly sounding ones.
I am going to tell you that it makes you realize that everyone around has problems similar to you, some of which you can relate and if possible offer a helpful suggestion as well. It is more about relating to people.
Listen and Talk
But more important than the talk in communication is the listening part which is our greatest clue as to what the emotions of your counterpart are, you are better equipped to handle it the moment you know what it is going to be about. (How to communicate)
Try to know the reason.
– If you think your being an introvert is causing you a lot of problems, perhaps it is time to look inside, to realize what made it all go wrong.
Was it the confidence, the language, knowledge, the feelings of fear, anxiety… and so on.. But try to point at what is bothering you and start acting right away.
A challenge is not going to fix itself; it is something we would need to work on.
How can you act on your challenges?
– Well! You don’t need a masterplan to make a shift from being an introvert to an extrovert. We are not going to promise you a magical formula where you can effect that change in a single day or the wink of an eye.
It is a challenge; it is going to take time from you being an introvert to someone who can start seeing some changes. But it is important to realize if there are some things you can do right away – those things where you can see some results, those things which are simple and easy, those things which don’t take too much of your effort to work.
Find those small things and work on them right away. Spray yourself with that bug of trying to find a solution through immediate action; it is a great one to have.
It is awesome, make a fool out of yourself!
– For most of us, one of the strongest reasons why we choose to be an introvert even if we don’t want to be is the fear as to how people might react to it. I promise you – People are not going to be supportive, not the least bit too.
What are you going to lose anyway, let them laugh – they have never known what you have been through and you need not tell them either. It is fun being wrong, making a fool out of yourself.
And it doesn’t take too much of work either, it just needs some action! (How to face an embarrassing situation)
I know that I try and sell this point each time I make an article. But that is also perhaps cos of the reason that this happens to be one of the most important one.
You are very gifted to become who you are and have those amazing dreams of what you want to be. All of these deserve a pat on the back, esp when you have gone through so much! (Why should I be thankful?)
And after everything, it is not about being hating an introvert and it also doesn’t mean that you have achieved something extraordinary in life by being an extrovert. It just about an introvert who doesn’t want to miss out on being an extrovert!