Let Go of Past:
“You can never run away from your past”
How many times have you heard people say that?
“It is something we all have to live with. We don’t have a choice! 🙁 “
How about this one?
No matter where we are, I am sure we all have something we would like to have changed, maybe it was the way we did things, the words we said to someone or the emotions we went through. Of course, we did talk about 9 simple and effective tips to overcoming guilt which will help you in the process to forgive yourself, this post is more about how we prevent ourselves from slipping into the thoughts of the past. And that is what we meant by letting go of the past to look ahead!
1. Let go of past: What has happened so far
1.1 Let go of past: Accept It!
Whatever has happened, has happened! None of us have access to a time machine. No matter how many times we wish there was a way to change things, we hardly can. I accept that in retrospect, we all can think of ways we could have made things better – so stop beating yourself up for this and thinking of a 100 odd ways you could have solved the problem and accept what has happened and permit yourself to start thinking ahead.
1.2 Let go of past: What does it mean to you?
What does this past event mean to you – what was the incident and what was the situation that prompted a particular action from you?
Try to understand what it means to you now, how it has affected you and whether it is drawing you down or pushing you ahead. If it is pushing you ahead, then it is a wonderful thing to happen. If not, maybe you need to revisit how you think about it. A simple trick can be to identify what you can appreciate about your behaviour at that time? What were you really impressed about yourself?
Please do not say NOTHING – that rarely helps. Most times we are so caught up in the negative effects that we tend to forget some impressive shifts within ourselves.
1.3 Let go of past: What can you do about it?
The utility question quite simply asks you this – what can you do to make things better. We appreciate that most times the answer is nothing in this case, but then we reframe the question – What can we do now to make ourselves feel better?!
The common answers are music, watching movies, playing sports – all of which represent the classic distraction techniques we use to prevent ourselves from feeling the pain. But the pain can be a very powerful motivator at times to take us beyond that emotion.
But apart from that, what can you do to make things better? What actions can you take to find a way to forgive yourself for the past. The answer can be as simple as an apology or writing a letter or
1.4 Let go of past: What holds you back?
We are now moving to the MOST IMPORTANT question about letting go of the past. Most times the past is just an occurrence which logically speaking should not have any direct connection.
But we do live in a world of emotions where LOGIC sometimes takes the secondary place and rightly so.
We are talking about the ramifications of the past here – a past failure holding us back, something which stops us in our current actions and so on. Identify those events which hold you back and the way they are holding you back. It doesn’t matter if it means going back to the good old lists, but do them anyway. Wikihow does a similar version of getting over the past which we think is quite decently done and can as well be used as a reference guide for the same.
2 Let go of past: The way Ahead
We all like to make huge strides of progress in life. It is awful when something holds us back. The question now is how do we identify the ways to move ahead?!
2.1 – Let go of past: It is a new situation
Each time we find ourselves going back to the past, we need to tell ourselves vocally and very clearly that this is a new situation. This is a situation where we have moved on from the past failure, gotten better and captured some new skills.
2.2 – Let go of past: It is an opportunity
Our mind plays tricks on us! It makes us feel so overwhelmed by the failures that it prevents us from looking at things a different way – as an opportunity and a chance for us to get over our previous short comings. It is very rare that we are given a chance to rewrite our history and when we are provided with one such, it would be a shame not to make the best out of it. That way, we also get to rewrite our past story into something which we can like.
2.3 – Let go of past:- Gratitude
None of us would naturally go out and say Thank You! when we have an unpleasant situation to handle. It may sound a bit unconventional, but it really helps to say that. We don’t mean just go out and say Thank you without meaning it – this wouldn’t make any difference at all. The trick is to identify what you are getting out of it, the advantages you are receiving from it which makes you offer your gratitude. This makes you look more at the outcome than the challenge alone.
These were our top practical tips to let go of your past. Do let us know which one you liked the most amongst these and which one you are most likely to disagree with. We would love to take the debate ahead.
Stay tuned for more.