Carrying forward from our previous post – The 6 types of Peculiar People who advice you, we now present you the 6 types of people who don’t deserve your stories.
You know how comfortable these group chats on Whatsapp are. You just share your story with your friends at once and hear all of them reply quickly. A married friend of mine, a little frustrated, disappointed and aimless on what to do with certain things in her life writes to us. In short, she was sharing the restrictions her in-laws imposed on her.
I didn’t know how to react. I wondered was it right on me to be sympathetic? Should I ask her to let it go? Should I ask her to adjust to them? Or should I ask her to fight back? As I kept thinking on how to react effectively to her, I see 3 to 4 notifications from my friends. One said, “Hmm.” The other said, “Oh! I am so sorry for you.” Another said, “Thank god my in-laws are better.” And one more took it to a whole new angle and said, “I am afraid to get married now.”
There I was, shocked, interrupting my thoughts with these replies, “How could these girls react in this manner.” I thought. My friend, for sure wasn’t expecting to hear this from us. And I am very sure these replies didn’t make her feel better.
Haven’t you faced similar kind of situations? When you hear some stories of your friends and you wonder how to tackle it and give them a warm,comforting feeling? We know our friends and yes we also know what comforts them the more. One exact response doesn’t suit for all types of people but avoiding the above kinds of responses does really help in dealing with the situations better.
We have faced certain situations in which we regret sharing certain things with certain people. Maybe because they didn’t bother to give us the comfort we needed but instead ended up making us even more uncomfortable.
Dr.Brene Brown on Oprah’s Show
Here is a beautiful message from Dr. Brené Brown on Oprah’s show, talking about dealing with shameful situations and sharing them with people. Here are the 6 Types of people Dr. Brene says you have to avoid when you share not so happy stories or shameful stories of your life.
6 Types of people who don’t deserve your stories
- One who feels shame for you
- One who responds with sympathy rather than empathy
- One who is disappointed in your imperfections
- One who is uncomfortable with your vulnerability
- One who refuses to acknowledge your state of emotional feel
- One who confuses your connections to opportunities to talk about her
We have these types of people who often pull us down with their responses. It isn’t there mistake and it isn’t ours too. Maybe we weren’t careful enough to observe their offerings of emotional comfort for us. But once we know what these types of people are doing to us, the mistake of going back to them hoping for an emotional comfort wouldn’t seems fairly pointless.
Brene makes a brilliant statement which is the complete solution-
“You share with people who earn the right to hear your story.”
Maybe it’s right.! Whom we choose to share our stories play some role in shaping our stories further.
About Brene Brown:
Brene Brown is an author, very well known for her books The Gifts of Imperfection and Daring Greatly which were #1 New York Times Bestsellers. She is a research professor and a public speaker, who is currently a research professor at the University of Houston Graduate College of Social Work.
Read more about her here Brene Brown
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