After the vivid response to our discussions on How To Read Better And Faster – 10 Simple Tips To Increase Efficiency and the discussion on How To Write Better And Faster: 10 Effective Tips, we now come up with the 10 tips to speak better and more effectively. And hopefully the next one might be on listening :D.
I am constantly amazed by the beauty of communication, the impact our words, gestures and actions have on people around us. Most times it so happens that the message we have in mind although is conveyed perfectly in words is completely misunderstood just because you forgot to smile or wink at the end of the sentence. We are not going to overly stress on the body language and the smile aspect of it.
We are here to identify how we can improve our efficiency in speaking to people so that we are able to convey our message better in such a way that these messages result in the actions we desire.
Without much ado, here are 10 tips on speaking better and more effectively.
1) The Audience
The primary rule is that – always and always know the audience you are speaking to. Unless you know them, there is no way you are going to charm them over. I do agree that it is impossible to know about everyone you meet, but show that curiosity and honest interest in knowing about the other person. It will help you connect with them more personally and in a manner where impact can be even more powerful.
The simplest logic for this is – When you are talking to a friend and when you open up to someone, the real you comes out, what you have in mind comes out and you are able to send that message across in a stronger manner cos both your words and actions will be in sync making communication much easier and simpler.
2) The Topic
Well, whether it is a formal presentation or an informal talk, we need to know what we are going to talk about. The stronger you are on the subject, the better impact you have. It shows that you really know what you are talking about and you are not going to make a fool of yourself.
It is pretty damn difficult to produce quality content out of thin air. So read, talk to more people, find a common ground and see what you both can talk about. Communication can never be about you talking and someone else listening. That is plain selfish. It is more about what you are talking about.
3) Body Language
Everyone seems to talk about this and hence we will not go much in detail about this. The article in time.com about body language will help you with the basic tips necessary for this. But these are given. Today we are limiting ourself to an informal communication cos the formal one is tad different. Although the tips remain universal for both cases.
Use your body to your advantage, the confidence, the gait of your voice, the control on your subject are certainly the aspects which will add value to your speech. But we are going a little more comprehensive for now. The body language however forms a crucial aspect, so better take good care of it.
4) Give The Other An Opportunity to Speak.
One common mistake most talkers do is that they think that communication is all about talking. But it is in fact more about listening than talking. Be on a constant lookout for feedback on your friend’s face when you are talking about something. Face is the best index, they can’t cheat you much on this unless you are not observing.
Make sure that the other person is not going to get bored. Communication is never about me talking and you listening. That is why we insist so much on your thoughts and comments after the post so that we both keep mutually growing and going ahead we can add in more relevant topics which can be of a greater use to you.
Fear of failure is the one thing that keeps us away from the successes we would have had IF ONLY. Well, if ifs and buts are candy and nuts…..
But we all know how it feels about being fearful, failing each day cos we think that if we speak something it would be wrong. To be very honest, between over communication and under communication, I would prefer a faulty over communication where I get to know the person better over just a simple email.
6) Get personal
Well, people have different meanings for personal communications. But we would rather say that when you are with friends and interesting people, it is perfectly valid to think of a personal touch to all your communications. Talk about the weather, talk about how they are finding it in this part of the city. Know where they are from. You will get an instant feedback whether they want to be seen with you or they think that a coffee might be more than necessary 😀 .
But our humble suggestion is – get personal. Talk to people like their life matters. And you know what, it really does. Show them that their lives and its happenings are important to you and you are genuinely interested in knowing. This way, even you open up along with the people around you.
7) . Don’t try to prove that you are smart.
We all are pretty smart people out here and most people would even know the solutions. When faced with such a situation, don’t try to prove how overly smart these idiots are. The more you try to do so, the more obnoxious you will appear.
As Dale Carnegie said, it is more important to be interested in the other person’s life than being self obsessed. Don’t try to show off your superior intellect. Sometimes it is a lot more important to be wrong and win the person’s heart rather than trying to prove them wrong.
8) The Points of View – Arguments
If the points of view are different, if it is giving rise to an argument, make sure that the argument doesn’t lead to a heated discussion, don’t let the argument get to you or don’t let your argument get to the other person. There are 10 simple rules to make or face an argument. Try and make sure that you stay in line with them.
At each point, make sure that you know the purpose of the argument and how you would like to drive it. Know that your sharp and witty words may sound great to you or even a listener but there is no point in trying to prove the other person wrong. The more you do that, the more you draw yourself into a pit.
9) Humor in conversation
Humor plays a significant role in a conversation. It has the capacity to deliver strong messages in a manner that it doesn’t hurt the person receiving it. There are a few simple rules when you try to be funny – 13 Things You Should Not Do When you are trying to be funny.
Make sure that you are in control of the situation. There can’t be too much of a good thing as well. And make sure that most of the humor is directed towards you. People hardly take offence when you make fun of yourself. That actually shows how humble you are and how comfortable you are being yourself.
10) Above all the purpose of the conversation.
The best things are said last! Always know the purpose of your conversation – what you are trying to achieve through it. This post basically covers the tips and techniques to speak effectively and make conversation. But it is mostly limited to an informal communication. If you are interested in knowing about stage communication, we shall come up with a post accordingly sometime soon.
Adios for now, these are our top 10 tips to speak better and more effectively. Do let us know if you think we have missed something or if there is any experience you would like to share with us. We are all ears.
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