10 Tips To Speak Better And More Effectively

conversation-799448_640 [iPod Video]After the vivid response to our discussions on How To Read Better And Faster – 10 Simple Tips To Increase Efficiency and the discussion on How To Write Better And Faster: 10 Effective Tips, we now come up with the 10 tips to speak better and more effectively. And hopefully the next one might be on listening :D.

I am constantly amazed by the beauty of communication, the impact our words, gestures and actions have on people around us. Most times it so happens that the message we have in mind although is conveyed perfectly in words is completely misunderstood just because you forgot to smile or wink at the end of the sentence. We are not going to overly stress on the body language and the smile aspect of it.

We are here to identify how we can improve our efficiency in speaking to people so that we are able to convey our message better in such a way that these messages result in the actions we desire.

Without much ado, here are 10 tips on speaking better and more effectively.

1) The Audience

The primary rule is that – always and always know the audience you are speaking to. Unless you know them, there is no way you are going to charm them over. I do agree that it is impossible to know about everyone you meet, but show that curiosity and honest interest in knowing about the other person. It will help you connect with them more personally and in a manner where impact can be even more powerful.

The simplest logic for this is – When you are talking to a friend and when you open up to someone, the real you comes out, what you have in mind comes out and you are able to send that message across in a stronger manner cos both your words and actions will be in sync making communication much easier and simpler.

2) The Topic

Well, whether it is a formal presentation or an informal talk, we need to know what we are going to talk about. The stronger you are on the subject, the better impact you have. It shows that you really know what you are talking about and you are not going to make a fool of yourself.

It is pretty damn difficult to produce quality content out of thin air. So read, talk to more people, find a common ground and see what you both can talk about. Communication can never be about you talking and someone else listening. That is plain selfish. It is more about what you are talking about.

3) Body Language

Everyone seems to talk about this and hence we will not go much in detail about this. The article in time.com about body language will help you with the basic tips necessary for this. But these are given. Today we are limiting ourself to an informal communication cos the formal one is tad different. Although the tips remain universal for both cases.

Use your body to your advantage, the confidence, the gait of your voice, the control on your subject are certainly the aspects which will add value to your speech. But we are going a little more comprehensive for now. The body language however forms a crucial aspect, so better take good care of it.

4) Give The Other An Opportunity to Speak.

Listen to speakingOne common mistake most talkers do is that they think that communication is all about talking. But it is in fact more about listening than talking. Be on a constant lookout for feedback on your friend’s face when you are talking about something. Face is the best index, they can’t cheat you much on this unless you are not observing.

Make sure that the other person is not going to get bored. Communication is never about me talking and you listening. That is why we insist so much on your thoughts and comments after the post so that we both keep mutually growing and going ahead we can add in more relevant topics which can be of a greater use to you.

5) Fear

Fear of failure is the one thing that keeps us away from the successes we would have had IF ONLY. Well, if ifs and buts are candy and nuts…..

But we all know how it feels about being fearful, failing each day cos we think that if we speak something it would be wrong. To be very honest, between over communication and under communication, I would prefer a faulty over communication where I get to know the person better over just a simple email.

6) Get personal

Well, people have different meanings for personal communications. But we would rather say that when you are with friends and interesting people, it is perfectly valid to think of a personal touch to all your communications. Talk about the weather, talk about how they are finding it in this part of the city. Know where they are from. You will get an instant feedback whether they want to be seen with you or they think that a coffee might be more than necessary 😀 .

But our humble suggestion is – get personal. Talk to people like their life matters. And you know what, it really does. Show them that their lives and its happenings are important to you and you are genuinely interested in knowing. This way, even you open up along with the people around you.

7) . Don’t try to prove that you are smart.

dont try to prove your smartness, smart talking, being too clever in talking, speaking betterWe all are pretty smart people out here and most people would even know the solutions. When faced with such a situation, don’t try to prove how overly smart these idiots are. The more you try to do so, the more obnoxious you will appear.

As Dale Carnegie said, it is more important to be interested in the other person’s life than being self obsessed. Don’t try to show off your superior intellect. Sometimes it is a lot more important to be wrong and win the person’s heart rather than trying to prove them wrong.

8) The Points of View – Arguments

how to speak better, how to handle arguments, arguments in conversation, debates with people and how to avoidIf the points of view are different, if it is giving rise to an argument, make sure that the argument doesn’t lead to a heated discussion, don’t let the argument get to you or don’t let your argument get to the other person. There are 10 simple rules to make or face an argument. Try and make sure that you stay in line with them.

At each point, make sure that you know the purpose of the argument and how you would like to drive it. Know that your sharp and witty words may sound great to you or even a listener but there is no point in trying to prove the other person wrong. The more you do that, the more you draw yourself into a pit.

9) Humor in conversation

Humor plays a significant role in a conversation. It has the capacity to deliver strong messages in a manner that it doesn’t hurt the person receiving it. There are a few simple rules when you try to be funny – 13 Things You Should Not Do When you are trying to be funny.

Make sure that you are in control of the situation. There can’t be too much of a good thing as well. And make sure that most of the humor is directed towards you. People hardly take offence when you make fun of yourself. That actually shows how humble you are and how comfortable you are being yourself.

10) Above all the purpose of the conversation.

The best things are said last! Always know the purpose of your conversation – what you are trying to achieve through it. This post basically covers the tips and techniques to speak effectively and make conversation. But it is mostly limited to an informal communication. If you are interested in knowing about stage communication, we shall come up with a post accordingly sometime soon.

Adios for now, these are our top 10 tips to speak better and more effectively. Do let us know if you think we have missed something or if there is any experience you would like to share with us. We are all ears.

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8 Responses to "10 Tips To Speak Better And More Effectively"

  1. Out of 10 I nearly follow 5 to 6 points everyday in my conversation….feeling good about it…
    I think while speaking to a person we should try looking eye to eye it gives conversation lot more meaning…yes but If someone is feeling shy…please look here n there:) ….what say Vinay???

    1. Awesome! It is really nice to know that you follow most of these steps Mayuresh. A 50% plus follow up on these is a great deal indeed. We often recommend just that cos it simply is too difficult to look at a 100% esp on these social behaviors.

      I couldn’t agree more mate. Body language and eye contact do make a lot of difference in making people feel more connected and comfortable with us. The more consciously we do it, the better we get at it. A clever mix of that and gestures is bound to take the conversation the right way.

  2. Very useful post Vinay. All the 10 points are very necessary while lecturing. One thing I would like to add here, eye contact. It is very important. If it is a huge gathering, we can see the last row so every others come into our territory. Nice post.

    1. Thank you Gowtham. I agree, eye contact does make a lot of difference, the body language, gestures, eye contacts are very important ways to keep someone glued to a conversation. It makes one feel more connected and more into the conversation or else things get really boring and to a certain extent annoying as well.

  3. Well…these tips are all good… but wen speaking one has to be prepared, one has to tell it in a interesting way too… with real life incidents, one must engage with the audience and not take over completely… be unpredictable… I have seen some stand up commedy acts and they all do these things…except they make fun of you if your the audience caught… nowadays I don’t find the commedies funny, they just cater to the local audience and they think they interested all in some things – bollywood, girls, pubs, marriage, weight… all common ones I am bored to hear of so not watching… still one can be funny if you genuienly are… I love making a fool of myself because I am genuienly funny or can be silly and don’t mind it… but lot of them in Indian society take things wrong and everybody are super opiniated and critical…so if your speaking to a unknown audience and you want to connect you got to fake some things just to please them… they do it all the time in sitcoms don’t they?, actors do it too?, they tell things that please audience… but if its a audience you know as in similar with attitudes or can accept what your saying, you can be more free in what you do. Anhyway good points… know your subject, connect with the audience, and be confident, are tips in a nutshell. I have heard some brilliant guys speak(:…that I can listen to them all day… but I belong to the mature audience looking for quality rather than cheap entertainment and I wish there are more people to entertain audience looking for good entertainment(:…we would love the speaker or entertainer genuienly for life(: then …anyway

    1. Thank you Andapo. I certainly agree with your thought here, it is a hard task to get there on the stage and keep everyone occupied. I hear you about the cheap sense of humour in the name of stand up comedy and even I hate it to the core and I would be with you in running away from such an auditorium at once. One can never underestimate the effort involved in making a stage presence and a talk. It takes a lot more than it appears, it takes years of practice and sometimes the concern for our audience. Though I have loved the stage and been on it, I still feel butterflies in my stomach and each time I go out to talk I realize that there are so many faults I need to work on which makes me appreciate the entire effort and stage presence even more. I have the highest regard for some of these amazing talkers, some which I have witnessed in TED TALKS, some in political debates and some in extempores. It makes me look at them in awe and wonder. I am completely against a cheap attention seeking protagonist. I would stay in a speech only if there is something useful for me at the end of it and if the person occupying the stage doesn’t cater to that, then there is no point in him making the speech at all


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