What does it mean when People Say They Don’t Care?

Meaning of people saying they don’t care: We meet these so-called dare devils who don’t care about the outcomes. Sometimes I question – are they actually this daring or are they careless? In my view, when people don’t care about things, they either have nothing to lose or they’re lying! In either case, it is a wrong reflection for us to be inspired by or even consider seriously. When people, say they don’t care, it may mean one of the following things:

  1. Indifference: They don’t care or are unaffected by the issue you’re discussing.
  2. Avoidance or Defensiveness: Maybe they feel that their opinion will not be respected and want to avoid it. The issue can be controversial or might affect them in an undesirable manner.
  3. Dominance: Unfortunately, some people think that making a lofty statement like this sends a message that they are in control. It might still be the case, but it is a bad way of asserting their dominance.
  4. Defensiveness: “I don’t care” can be used as a statement to protect themselves from criticism or blame.
  5. Avoiding Conflict: Perhaps one of the most common reference points is conflict avoidance. However some of these conflicts can be very helpful in achieving a desirable outcome.
  6. Not Wanting Responsibility: Maybe this is the crux of it, if you don’t care – maybe the associated responsibility also goes away.

These are the various possible meanings when people say they don’t care. But it is our responsibility and ownership to find out what it really means. Maybe there’s an underlying cause stronger than what you are talking about

What does it mean when people say they don’t care?

I have often wondered what people mean when they say they Don’t Care! Sometimes I have found it funny, sometimes offensive – esp when you provide a feedback and they don’t seem to respond at all. This discussion reminds me of our collection on society quotes and how they influence us.

So many questions and I don’t seem to have a very convincing answer. Then I come across this video which simplifies the meaning and its relevance for me when people say “I don’t care

More about the speaker – Tony Robbins can be found here.


How do these views matter to you?

We have debated this quite a few times. Most times we have encouraged or even vehemently argued that the society’s views don’t matter. We should always do what our heart says and so on. All of those is very fair and we still stand by it very strongly.

We should not allow other’s opinions to sway our decisions, we should be strong and define a path for ourselves. But, that doesn’t that we don’t care about what others think about us. (Related: Being yourself is the biggest challenge in a society that is trying to make you something else)

If I am being honest, I always care. I always am conscious or try to be thoughtful about what other’s think about me, how my behaviour or action makes them feel. It almost feels very careless when someone says “I don’t care what others think”. It sends an awful message saying that you are not open for feedback.

The more you say that you don’t care or give a s*it, the more people refrain from providing you with honest feedback. And you really end up losing a lot.

Can it be an act of contempt or carelessness from people?

It is very easy to feel good about ourselves and supremely confident. But that doesn’t mean that we get to trample over everyone else and treat the society or people around us with contempt.

You won’t be swayed by others easily – you need not be. You have every right to maintain your position and decision. There is no point in responding to every feedback that comes your way. You still have your brains and you are the only person who can take a decision on what to do next with the data presented in front of you.

So, if someone comes up to you and provides you a feedback, don’t just go out to blurt that you don’t care. LISTEN! It doesn’t matter if you are not going to act on it, but do listen and take it in. See whether it makes sense to you or not.

If it doesn’t you can always respectfully disagree and thank them for the words of wisdom.

If however, it is too foolish, then don’t bother – just try to finish the conversation as soon as possible and move on. In short, there is no one way to respond to a situation. But just ensure that you don’t dissociate yourself so much from the society that you don’t even belong to your roots any more.

 


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Vinay Nagaraju

Product Director with 10+ years in leadership roles - team building, product strategy, coaching and mentoring are a part of my everyday responsibilities. I write about motivational words that inspire us and shape our thinking and help us go beyond these thoughts to find what our minds are telling us and evolve.

This Post Has 4 Comments

  1. sindhoooo

    Great tips, Vinay. Thanks!

    1. Roy Kreutler

      What you have not done to the least of these of breathren,
      You have not done so unto me.

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