We can all complain but….

HAVE I BEEN A COMPLAINT FREAK?

I have been a big fan of words from Abraham Lincoln, the above quote sets me back a few days/months/years while I remember how much of a complaint freak I was. I had endless things to grumble about – the situation, people, weather, AC, relatives and friends and family…. you get the picture right? Don’t worry I am not saying I feel bad about it, in fact I used to feel pretty good while doing it and without realizing also a lot bad later. But lets focus on the good for now ;).

HOW DO YOU SOUND WHEN YOU COMPLAIN?

It kinda never hit me how it would make a difference whether I complained less or more till I met a friend. It had been a while since we met and after we caught up, I realize there was so much we talked or rather she talked about and all I could listen was – “Oh God! Why is she complaining so much?” I mean it was a beautiful day, there were so many great things happening, and such good news to share and I realize what we were doing was just cribbing about things.

DO I ALSO SOUND LIKE THIS?

Then I just drifted on a line of thought and realize, “Oh God! This is exactly how I sound to others”. It’s not that there was nothing to complain about, there genuinely was, but there was so much to feel happy about, instead the complaint was taking most of our emotions. To be very honest, I kinda felt tired listening to it and I was waiting for the conversation to get over. One thing I realized is that the negative emotions are like a string, the moment you release one, it attracts another and so on till it becomes a bigger circle.

And as I questioned myself as to what was the gain from these, I realized that the answer was NOTHING! I mean the more I complain, the more I focus on the negativity, the more I feel helpless that there is no change happening, the more I feel frustrated and angry and then complain more – the cycle repeats.

NO SURPRISE MY FRIENDS DID NOT LIKE IT

Forget what others feel about us complaining, I realize I myself didn’t feel good on the larger picture, and no surprise that my friend’s didn’t like it either. I guess I can state with certainty that all of our lives have a lot of problems, and just cos the other person doesn’t talk about it much it doesn’t mean that they don’t have many. Sometimes I also feel that people are mature enough to let that go and focus on the better parts than cribbing about the bad ones.

Of course none of our lives is a bed of roses, it has got its thorns too, but the moment we keep focussing on what is going to prick us, that is all we are going to find. I guess it all boils down to a choice finally, the roses come with thorns, you can live with thorns throughout your life or with roses or acknowledge the thorns, respect them, try to do something about them without taking the focus off the roses!Don’t find fault, find remedy – Henry Ford