Why do we do the things we do?: I have been thinking about this for a while. Of all the different experiences in my career I have been fortunate to have, a question has constantly recurred.
- Why am I doing these things in the first place?
- What will happen if I stop doing?
- If I hit a pause, what would be the overall impact on my definition of self.
An inspiration for me to write on this today is the wonderful quote from Alexander Den Heijer:
“You often feel tired, not because you’ve done too much, but because you’ve done too little of what sparks a light in you.”
Alexander Den Heijer
I would like to clarify the scope of this post. It is not to offer advice on finding value or meaning, but to provoke some questions which can goad us in a meaningful direction. I would start with the most important motivator:
Why do we do the things we do?!
Why do we do the things we do?
- What are the key motivators? I know – we are all in different stages. Some of us are working, some studying and some both, etc. But why do we do the things we do?
- The common motivators are – the story of our future, accomplishment. We even talk about our intrinsic value and how it makes us feel.
What is the meaning we assign to these things?
- It might be important or valuable externally, but what does it mean to us?Why do we have to do the things we do?
- What happens if we don’t do them? I mean, what is the outcome if I don’t go to work some day? Yes, the company or the employer will be shocked, but what does it really mean to me?
Why is it important to us if at all?
- It can’t just be money. I am sure there are more than a few ways to make money and we all have faced some of these in our experiences.
Things we like and things we don’t:
I have noticed that in order to do the things I like; I unfortunately also have to do the things I don’t like. It may be simple things like braving traffic to go to work. Or it can be complicated ones like a heated negotiation or a stressful meeting.
The things we like can come in multiple shapes and sizes. I am sure it is not the same for everyone. The same things have different impact depending on where we are in our lives. But equally I do know that we all have the things of like and hate. And unfortunately, it is never always the same thing.
Enough is Enough
But what defines the balance? When do we decide, ENOUGH IS ENOUGH? What is the tipping point which decides I need to move on to something else?
I don’t quite know if I have a simple answer to that. But the above quote might be a shining light. If we are doing things constantly which don’t energize us, maybe it is time to find that balance right.
Finding things that energize us
I think the bottom-line of this article comes to finding things that we can truly connect to and feel energized with. It can be simple ones like going to a gym or a run. It might be practices such as listening to music or some ted talks which can goad us in the right direction.
I have noticed that sometimes, I end up doing things mindlessly such as browsing or sometimes even going through the routines. It is tiring, particularly when we don’t stop and realize how we are treating ourselves.
The environment around us:
Yes, we can go about and blame the environment around us, but what are we doing to nurture the sense of meaning within ourselves? Again, I am not suggesting a radical move like quitting everything. And maybe that’s a great suggestion for some.
But I am suggesting, really looking within and identifying the things that are really important to us. Daily requirements and demands from like keep taking over us if we let them. The complete dedication of this article is for the very consciousness of what’s really important and meaningful to us.
Sorry if there’s a bit of ramble in this article. But the real honest crux of thought is:
“You often feel tired, not because you’ve done too much, but because you’ve done too little of what sparks a light in you.”
Alexander Den Heijer
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