The Power of Failure Vs Shame of Losing

Power of Failure: It felt very nice to come across this lovely ted talk today by Simone Giertz about performance anxiety and the importance of failure. This is a powerful speech about the normalisation of failure and developing ourselves to ensure continual growth and increased capabilities for success.

Today, I would like to talk about the power of doing things for the fun of them. I would also like to dare a stretch to the concepts of Karmayoga as we talk about this if you would humour me. 

There are some beautiful concepts in this talk for me: 

1. Work for work’s sake 
2. Being comfortable with Failure – it is nothing but mere feedback 
3. Accepting things the way they are and moving on

It might sound a bit odd from the utter bullish perspective sold to us by most marketing and advertising media, but I would like to stick with it as a mark of inspiration from this video – the power of failure. 

The Mistake in working to fail

It was even more interesting to read some of the comments about this talk. Some friendly folk go to the extent of attacking this talk as being too idealistic or even impractical. Well, I don’t think I am going to win any more friends for readers of the same perception. However, I do want to talk about the simplicity and humility in the approach. 

Skill: Learning to deal with Failure – This is one of the least taught exercises while growing up. Failure is natural and a common occurrence. We have to develop ways to not only deal with it but also to learn and grow from these occurrences. If we don’t it easily leads to detrimental effects such as low expectations, a sense of entitlement and assigning far too much importance to fail.

We have constantly been sold a culture of trying to do our best. There is huge competition with everything we are expected to do. Normally this competition helps us go beyond our limitations, but also can work immensely in increasing the amount of pressure. In other words, as the speaker highlights – performance anxiety. 

What is the whole point in all this additional pressure and stress? After all, why are we chasing all the big fancy goals and dreams? What is the ultimate purpose of these goals and dreams? Is the destination alone the be-all and end-all of it? 

The power of failure

Well, let’s be honest. None of us wants to fail. It is usually accompanied by an unfavourable result which we could do without. And the repercussions are never fun. No one wants to fail on purpose. 

• But, let’s face it – it happens. Just like everything else in life and the world – failure is an occurrence. Things go wrong – whether we are ready or not – it is never as easy as shown in the movies. 
• Although the culture trains and teaches us to be the best and keep striving. There are hundreds of motivational posters out there about perseverance and how things will work for people who are willing to put in the hard work. 
• As much as I subscribe to that idea, a recent lesson has been that we don’t burn ourselves out in the process. There is something very precious happening during the pursuit of these goals and even outside of that. 

This is the building of our inner selves – the person you and I are becoming through the journey we take. Most often this gets missed in the midst of all the materialistic and tangible results in front of us. But the inner fibre bears the brunt of it. 

I am not suggesting that we should wilfully hunt for failure, but we ought to recognise that there is some power in this failure and we can benefit from acknowledging and knowing about it rather than turning a blind eye. 

Learning from failure to move ahead

Life is short – time is even more so. Yes, emotional healing from a failure takes time and it is never easy. But only you and I can get over it. No one else can do it for us. As much as the hope is for some saviour to lift us through this all – the answer is in the strength of personality we have to build for ourselves. 

So please, let’s stop this burning ourselves out consciously. Goals and dreams are supposed to be the source of joy – not performance anxiety. It is not the end of the world if you are not the richest person in the world or unable to achieve your lofty dreams. 

The Shame of Losing

Often people say that no one remembers the name of the person who came second in a race. What is the point? It is such a competitive idea to be running behind one thing and dismissing everything else. 

If you think there is a shame in losing – then perhaps you have not taken a hard enough goal for yourself. And if you are true to yourself and failed in the past – then do ask – have I been fair to myself? 

If you are not, then please don’t push or force yourself to feel horrible. You’ve got one life and a time limitation – instead of the madness and noise outside, listen to the inner self. Go at the goals with a desire for fulfilment and joy. 

At the same time, make sure you protect yourself and build from the power of failure. End of the day, nothing is worth or more important than your inner personality and character. Wins, losses and goals will find a way to follow.