I was in a hurry to meet someone, normally I would have walked the distance but yesterday I wanted to be there on time and decided to take an auto.
“50 rupees for one and a half kilometers?” The auto driver said
“What one to double?”
I shouted back
“I’ll find another”
After 5 minutes I found an auto rickshaw who agreed to drop me for 30 rupees. Well I couldn’t fight more for 5 rupees extra on the meter.
“Why don’t you follow the rules?” I blurted annoyed!
He started with briberies in all professions and unnecessarily started asking me why I don’t tell people to follow rules there.
He said “No one follows, why I should?”
By then I had realize it was no point talking to him and I was just hoping to reach the place soon.
Finally we reached the place. I paid him 30 rupees and he says
“Madam, You keep on talking about rules, first you learn to follow.”
I was very angry and shouted
“What did I do?” and the man says
“You are wearing jeans”
He started talking cheap about woman’ dressing sense, women going out with men and other things. I was wearing a jeans pants, a loose kurta and a sweater upon that and this cheap fellow says I should learn to dress up in a decent way.
I wanted to punch his face, slap him. Let him understand women are not meant to sit at home but all I did was to say
“Mind your own business!”
I felt like doing hundred other things to him and was afraid to do it. I was disappointed by the way I reacted. It wasn’t my mistake, I knew he was being senseless but I didn’t do anything to stand up for myself.
I still wonder what I could have done. A lot of thoughts go on my mind in retrospect but I don’t seem to find a solution. Sometimes I feel that I should have gone to the police station with it, sometimes I feel that I should have created a scene and gathered people around, I feel that I should have slapped him. Then I wonder if what I did was right. I agree that I was clueless but in retrospect I am clueless even now.
I don’t understand a few things with this world, I feel sorry that people still think this way, I wonder how best I could have reacted, maybe I should have said that I would go to the police and noted down his number and license calling it a verbal abuse!
Any thoughts as to what I could have done better?
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Unfortunately true Anirudh. The whole society has fragmented itself in such a way that it looks for opportunities to bully people, make them follow their stupid rules. And the moment when someone goes outside of that, find ways to punish them and make them feel horrible about it. It is a typical status quo attitude which brings the entire morale down and growth is expected though it is not inclusive of this all.. Weird rules!
Its really disgusting to see how people behave even after so many incidents like this!
People are not ready to change their mindset or to accept the change. They are afraid of change. Rather accept the change and respect the people around you. Be it a man or a woman, when you give respect, you receive it back. But hardly we implement it!
I think what Vidya done at that moment is right. You cannot over react when you don’t have the support or talk to uncultured people. We need to unite to fight against these inequalities and I hope one day we learn to respect each other.
I was afraid to react. As you said, you cannot over react when you don’t have the support. I truly wish that day comes soon when people learn to respect.
It’s disgusting to talk to people like those. After all these rapes and gender policing happening in the country I feel people have started to shamelessly impart their cheap gyaan to the ladies.
Unacceptable…I think you did what you could at that time….In a country like that it is very hard to fight back where the day to day justice is far from reach….no one seem to care…if you would have slapped (I agree he deserves it) – who knows what more was coming back at you….If you would have verbally abused him too it would be demeaning yourself but probably thats the language he understands….Going to the police-do you think the pandus would care….? Creating a scene – well, that’s the only amusing thing that sounds like fun to me :D (don’t get mad at me for making it funny)…was only trying to extinguish your boiling point :) ….TC…I hope this mentality changes….(one thing that I like in western culture)
That’s the thing I adore too in western culture. At least people don’t look you as an different creature. Even if they do so it’s not up to the extent they do here. For the next ten minutes I was angry with the society. That small incident boiled me and it took around half an hour to calm myself. And I am not sure how the pandus would react :D I have to try complaining the next time.
i really would have slapped him, definately! but that wouldnt change anything nor his perspective, People should really stop Gender Policing as such views give rise to more gruesome crimes in our society. All section of our society should be educated on such things but how thats the question, actually it starts from our home itself.
I agree with you Lata, education starts from home. It’s important for a father to treat his wife properly. If he tries to dominate and treat her cheap then that’s what his son learns. It’s important for the mothers to teach their sons.
yeap exactly my point
THe auto driver does need a slap and that too a very HARD one
True Bikram, that is what I told Vidya too. Actually I could find myself boiling with rage when I heard this and all I could think of was – How dare he.. And somehow I realize that there are so many people like that, who try and dictate rules for everyone else around in life. So pathetic and so painful :(
I think you should have taken his vehicle number and complained to the police..so that next time before passing comments on someone else he’d remember you..
Thank you Sajid for the suggestion. I thought the same. Next time If something happens like this I’ll make sure to note down the vehicle number and complain to the police.