The Big Problem with Jealousy

Jealous- The Definition!

We have all used this word – Jealous/jealousy in various different contexts but yet it seems to take a simplistic definition of people hating us because they don’t have what we do. It is because they are not capable and are absolutely silly. They have no right in doing that but yet they do.

Well, that’s the definition which is given by my egoistic self. But as I dig a little deeper about the times I have felt jealous about people/things/situations and life in general, it brings out a whole new meaning altogether – Rightly so right? I mean things always mean a bit different when they have a direct impact on us ;)

Why Jealousy?

Like everything, there is always a very strong answer at the root of all problems. And in this case if we consider jealousy as a problem, I personally believe it stems from our internal idea of competition and the sense that there is a real possibility that we might lose. Naturally enough, our mind tries to play the defensive role so that we do not face defeat. Instead, it tries to preempt the competition so that we get the biggest advantage.

As I say this, I am being very careful not to imply that we do it, I am just saying that there is a passing thought which makes us think about it. And just because we think about it doesn’t make us bad, it is just a normal passing thought. What we do about our thoughts matters a little more than what we just think!

Jealousy – The Problem With Philosophy

Of course, the movies have dramatised a lot of aspects of our lives. Jealousy is often shown as someone with a knife on their back or fire burning in the heart and so on.

But then, before jumping into conclusions and pointing fingers at people and potentially hating them, we can perhaps take a step back and think. Jealousy is not insecurity, it is a tiny alarm bell that goes on in our mind which starts ringing very loudly when it perceives a threat and in most cases, the threat is of a competition and the threat that the competition is going to be better and win over us.

Most times people tell you that you should not be jealous and it is wrong. Of course, all morals will tell us that we have to be more open, less selfish and accepting of what is coming towards us. That is the law of philosophy.

The problem with philosophy is that it kinda ends up branding you as a bad person. The moment you start to analyse what happened, it brands you as an insecure person who doesn’t have any confidence. Thus, the word jealous/jealousy becomes a taboo and no one speaks about it even if they feel it. And they avoid it cos it puts them in the judgemental eye of the society which is even worse.

The Solution

I would rather say – if you are feeling jealous about something – be human about it and accept what is happening. Listen intently what your mind is telling you. Don’t tell your brain that it is bad and you should avoid it. Before getting into all that nonsense, listen once and think through.

Understand the message jealousy is conveying you. Of course you will get a lot of thoughts – sleep over them, think through. You can defer action to a later point of time. It is a terrible decision to act on jealousy and it is also a terrible decision to ignore it completely.

We have always advocated the importance of balance in life and the more we look at it intently, the more we can be in control of our lives and that can take us a long way ahead.

These were our thoughts on jealous/jealousy. Would love to hear your views about it.

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