Sometimes it takes losing everything: Sometimes it takes losing everything: I love the challenge in this quote – to lose something to gain. Pain affects us in different ways – sometimes it questions our existence, values, personality. Sometimes pain even makes us wonder about the version of reality that we believe in. These are powerful questions which can be extremely daunting. As much as I admire the intensity of these questions, it can be very hard to try and answer them in a vacuum.
Remember the story of the phoenix? It is the perfect representation of sometimes it takes losing everything to be reborn and create us anew. It is hard work to imagine this – but sometimes this might be the only way to rethink our life – especially when we’ve had a life altering event that can shake us.
“Sometimes it takes losing everything you thought you needed to gain everything you ever wanted”
Table of Contents
Sometimes it takes losing Everything you needed
There’s a powerful distinction between want and need in this quote. When we are either sad or depressed, the first thing that comes to our mind is about controlling this life. We want to stay in control – create things that make us happy so that we don’t feel the stress. The unfortunate reality is that life is far more complex than this. There’s a life beyond our control and the more we try to hold it close – it slips away.
The truth is, we must embrace the fact that we don’t know everything about life. Our mind might be telling us that we need something right now. But we don’t always know the full extent of life since we are thinking about the pain in an isolated manner. We can’t think of things that we don’t see. In such cases, it is extremely hard to trust life and let it take charge.
But what we need might be too simple. It might not solve the problems of the situation that we are in. What we need might also point us to a short-term solution because we are just thinking about running away from the pain. We can’t – sometimes the answer is to just surrender to this pain and let it take its shape.
Needs vs wants in life
- Needs: Essentials required for survival and well-being, such as love, security, health, and basic resources. These are often non-negotiable and form the foundation of our lives.
- Wants: Desires that enhance our lives but are not essential for survival. They can include material possessions, social status, and experiences that bring joy or satisfaction.
To gain everything you ever wanted
The needs often meet only our base desires. They don’t let us think beyond the immediate problem and naturally lead to short term thinking. For someone who’s hungry – the needs are food and perhaps shelter. But the need might be a job where they can sustain themselves. The difference between the needs and wants lie in the depth of focus. The wants talk about our long-term desires that have the capability to elevate our life.
Real change happens when we know that it is time to make that change
This quote makes us think about the desires that we must give up seeing the bigger picture. It nudges us to think about giving up some of the short-term desires to win big and allow for life to make lasting changes. This demands us to look beyond what we see and take a step back. Whether we take a lens of mindfulness to this or the thoughts of strategy – they both tell us the same thing – “look beyond what life’s showing you at the moment”. When we look beyond these challenges and difficult situations, life unfolds a new story with different challenges. There’s a different purpose to it altogether.
The quest for success or the search for meaning for a purpose of our lives is a beautiful thing and nothing even comes close to that experience in life. And yes to get there, we do need a few sacrifices, we do need a little bit of losing to do. What I like about this quote is the depth in which it looks at success or failure/winning or losing. In the first bit, all it means is that nothing ever comes free in life and we do need to make some sacrifices, there is nothing called free lunch and so on. Let’s extrapolate this quote further into the following themes:
- Personal growth after loss
- Letting go to gain
- Resilience in adversity
Personal growth after loss
Personal growth after loss is a complex topic. Our mind resists this line of thought because there isn’t enough time to feel bad about what’s happened. It’s always difficult to come out of the zone of self-pity into a mindset that starts telling us to move on with life. Although this is an exceedingly difficult ask – it is something we cannot escape. We ought to do what’s needed because life’s asking that out of us.
Letting go of what we know may be the small sacrifice needed to gain something bigger
Acknowledging thoughts and the sense of loss
Acknowledging thoughts and the sense of loss: We ought to start with acceptance. Beyond the temptation of fighting reality, we come to a state where we know and recognise the situation. There’s no running away from it and the quickest route appears to be of surrender – to the situation life has brought us to. It demands our acceptance and acknowledge the loss.
It might even mean grieving about this loss and understanding what it means to us. Whatever the steps we must go through – it becomes an unavoidable journey. If we are to take a step back and look at personal growth after loss – then the pain in the interim is a necessity – sometimes it takes losing everything!
Asking for help
Asking for help: It might sound embarrassing to ask for help openly. The act of asking for help makes us vulnerable, feel weak and acknowledge that we need someone to help us through the situation. If you feel embarrassed, look around – people are asking for help all the time. This world, life are too complex to live alone. We will need help from others and give this help generously when others need it.
Most people are kind and want to help a good human. So please don’t hold yourself back from the truth. People respect the sense of loss – everyone has gone through that pain, and they know how hard it is. Move beyond the worry of fear, judgment and expectation. There’s something more important at stake here – it is about the story of finding your personal growth after loss. Asking for help can be awkward. But it doesn’t have to be.
Self compassion, kindness and love
Let’s not forget self-compassion. A loss isn’t something to be ignored – it has an emotional impact, shakes our confidence and trust in life. We can ignore it and act as if nothing has happened. Many people try this approach only to realise that growth will find its way back to you and force you to change. Life can be demanding this way – unless we make the necessary change, life will keep dealing us with different lessons.
The one thing we can do is to practice love and self-compassion. We can do this if we are able to share this love and self-compassion for other people who are going through loss. It is a great place to practice compassion so that you can be ready when you need it the most. Amidst all the expectations, challenges and our self-image, we forget being kind and showing ourselves love.
Personal growth after loss is a difficult thing which needs all the love and compassion that you can show. Finding this helps acknowledge how hard the task is and being kind allows you to make changes in small steps without being too unrealistic about the milestones and successes. When You’re Hard on Yourself: Replace Guilt with Self-Compassion
Letting go to gain – Sometimes it takes losing to gain
The main theme in this quote is about losing what we know to gain what we don’t. It is often one of the hardest things to do – to let go of the things that we know and get a sense of comfort and confidence from. New things are scary, it is even scarier to let go of things that make us feel good. But maybe that’s the small sacrifice that we have to make in order to gain something bigger.
Once we strip away our perception of what we know, a new life opens up for us.
Losing everything to gain
Real change happens when we know that it is time to make that change. I love this quote – when we want something desperately, the universe conspires to make it happen. But it all starts from us realising that it is time to make a commitment and stick to it. Losing everything you have is no joke. It will test you to the core and make you wonder whether you are making a mistake. The truth is that it will make you feel that you are making a mistake. But you’ll know the truth – if you are honest with yourself and keep all the biases, expectations away, this truth will guide you.
Opening to new and unknown
Once we strip away our perception of what we know, a new life opens up for us. The quote – sometimes it takes losing everything nudges us to let go of our perceptions, expectations and focus on receiving life as is. It asks us to be mindful and open – see what’s in front of us and try to make the best of the situation.It strips away the pressure of what it is supposed to be. Instead, it just is and our job is to figure out what best we can do in such a situation. This is about being open to this unknown and respecting, recognising the impact it can create and how our mindset can take us into a different space.
“Sometimes it takes losing everything you thought you needed to gain everything you ever wanted”
Thanks. Needed this.
Every time I read the interpretation of different quotes here, I feel the positivism and optimism behind your words. :-)
“The biggest risk is not taking any risk… In a world that changing really quickly, the only strategy that is guaranteed to fail is not taking risks.”
Loosing or letting go is an indispensable truth of life and we need to shed our inhibitions and let it happen the way it was meant to be for they rightly say in order to get that most desirable thing you need to sacrifice something in life. And that’s how it happens to be. You have explained the quote with great depth Vinay. I really liked your personal insights and your way of looking at such thoughtful subjects with so much intricacy. :) Cheers!