Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions.”
-Dalai Lama XIV (Tenzin Gyatso)
My friend had broken-up with her boyfriend from a long-term relationship. Sadness had embraced her from all sides and on bonus to it the last semester results were announced and she had flunked in a subject(this meant her job opportunity was out of hand). It looked as if all her nightmares were turning into reality. She was devastated.. that’s what she said when I asked “How are you doing?” We tried to cheer her up but she preferred to feel sorry about herself for long. One day while we were busy chit chatting in college, she started her sad story, we didn’t give much of an attention as it was her 6th time repeating it ( Most of us recited her words in our minds as we knew what would come after what :) ) She concluded her story saying “I am tired of all this, I want some happiness in life….I have been waiting for it…… Oh! My life is so sad!” One of my friend stood up and angrily said “Keep waiting for another 40 years! It will never come! When you want it you have to go get it!! “
We had a lot of unwelcome attention by now and I was expecting her to burst into tears but surprisingly she accepted his advice and his words left an impression on her. This incident helped her realize how important it was to end self-sympathy and start focusing on things that make her happy. She started working on her interests, kept herself engaged and gradually took away the misery of her life. She focused on her positives and she made sure she remained with happy people around and today she is a lot happier than before and she says she is in a better job than the one which was offered earlier and she knows how to keep herself happy :)
Probably that’s what we should do when we feel unhappy. Go out, feel fresh air, appreciate nature, smile often (that’s OK if you look stupid initially :) )surround yourself with happy and wonderful people who ignore the concept of sympathy, show gratitude for the beautiful life you are gifted with (Why should I be thankful?) , work on things that make you happy , read good books, sing loud and dance carefree and make sure you are always engaged to do things that make you feel good. Everything will fall in place gradually and you will find yourself happy :)
As I have been answering questions on few forums I couldn’t ignore noticing how many people ask questions on being happy. The popular question is “Where to find happiness” I have questioned myself to understand whether it is really hard to find? I haven’t experienced much of sadness in my life (touch-wood!) I am sure few miseries and disasters of life are never easy to forget and move ahead. It takes time and many might change your life but worrying for small things and concluding not to find happiness is like shutting down your minds not to look ahead. Everybody has their bits of sad moments in life with different intensities but when we can take actions to create the life we want we certainly can take actions to create happiness.I am sure they have certain challenges and obstacles to accomplish but its worth the try.
This reminds of the legendary :) dialogue of Barney Stinson “When I’m sad I stop being sad and be awesome instead!” from the series How I Met Your Mother :)
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Push Yourself out of victim or culprit consciousness. Crux of life :)
Crux of life indeed jay, crux of life indeed. THe faster we do that, the better it is for us.
i meant *them…not “him”
What a WOW post?! I too have my share of friends who keep cribbing about how unfair life has been with him. If only they would take the tips offered the way your friend did.
The best was the line by Barney ;)
“When I’m sad I stop being sad and be awesome instead!”
He he, he is an amazing character of all time.. I have loved him from the first season and his acting, dialogue delivery are SPOT ON! :)
He he, I guess people are hardly open to take suggestions sometimes, I guess that is when the force of voice works :P
The best thing I can think about right now is the movie “The Pursuit Of Happyness”.
Will Sith says ” It was right then that I started thinking about Thomas Jefferson, the Declaration of Independence and the part about our right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. And I remember thinking: How did he know to put the pursuit part in there? That maybe happiness is something that we can only pursue. And maybe we can actually never have it, no matter what. How did he know that?”
Amazing movie.
Being content is happiness I suppose.
Thank you Nikhil :). That was amazing, it is a lovely dialogue and it had been so long since I heard it. Nothing defines happiness better, the presence of pursuit, being in the process, living every moment of it is amazing. And Will Smith as always is one heck of an actor for that! :)
I have been reading your posts and I must say they are very good! Why don’t you signup on http://www.centerstage.me it will help you in gaining followers and spreading your message
Thank you Aman, I shall try it out. That sounds interesting. Glad that you are enjoying the posts Aman, I shall keep them coming :)
PS: Aman, I am afraid that I might have to remove the link since my spam filter is automatically hoisting anything with a hyper link to spam folder.
We dig too much and yet cannot find the happiness that we are looking for! We should learn to find happiness even in the smallest thing that we do.
That’s true Krishna, sometimes the drilling takes a lot more emotion and thought than it deserves :). I agree, that would be the ultimate beauty of life and certainly a very evolved individual to identify and segregate the good from the bad and bring it all in the proper sense of our lives.. :)
we are surrounded by hurdles in different faces and it will come always. It is very important to start valuing yourself and discover you in all even and odd times. It has fun…:). Great post !
Thank you Priyanka :). I couldn’t agree more, we have to start valuing ourselves, perhaps a little more than we think. It makes us realize how strong we are, and we do have what all we need to lead the quality of lives we desire and deserve :)
The quote at the beginning is so apt and you’ve rightly said that we should try to do those things which can make us happy….I know that is not possible all the time..mostly we’ve to do works which we abhor still I find this piece of yours a nice read.. :-)
Thank you Maniparna :), I agree, we should keep finding things that make us happy and keep enhancing that inventory. Cos the more reasons we have to feel happy, the more reasons to smile and hence a better quality of life as well. I agree, mostly we have to do the stuff we hate, but I guess on the other hand in order to do something we like, we also have to keep doing some things which we don’t like as well! :)
Glad to hear that you liked the post Maniparna :)
Appreciate yourself, you will be happy.. Well said..
Thank you Lance :). I guess that is something we miss out on, on a daily basis. Somehow somewhere in the culture it has been taught that appreciating ourselves accounts to bragging and it is not very welcome in the society. But we also realize that we need to keep patting our backs to keep up the motivation simply cos of the fact that other’s tire out easily when they do that for us :)
Exactly… that’s why we have to manage to keep ourselves happy…
Removing the prefix of UN-HAPPY! http://t.co/QxgSITm0i9