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It is better to be hated for what you are than be loved for what you aren’t – is a discussion of the meaning and practical value of these inspirational words. It is a hard task to be yourself – the world is always trying to make us into someone else. There are of course challenges as we will highlight in this article. However, there is a stronger force within us to establish this individuality and become ourselves. In this article, we talk about the meaning of being hated for who you are, the unfortunate compulsion to be someone else and finding a balance between the two.

Key points discussed in this article are:

• It is better to be hated for what you are quote meaning
• Negative consequences of being hated for who you are
• How to be comfortable with being hated for what you are?

You can find inspirational words on this theme in our be yourself quotes collection.

It is better to be hated for what you are quote meaning

What does it mean to be hated for who you are? – People often compare and relate to someone who’s similar. If someone hates you, it is because you are different from them or there’s no common ground between the two.

This is precisely why you need to be very careful about your company of friends. Often our thoughts are influenced by what we’re exposed to. If you’re constantly exposed to uncomfortable environments where you’ve to fake a behaviour or act differently, your personality is put through enormous stress. You’re sending a message internally that being yourself is wrong or will not be accepted.

Before putting yourself under stress – ask a few questions:

• Is this truly me?
• What do I get by changing my behaviour?
• What do I lose?

Once you have these answers, make a conscious choice as to whether you want to change.

Challenges for being yourself

As much as I’d like to say that there’s nothing more important than being who you are, we need to be real and understand the consequences. As with anything worthwhile, you will lose something by being yourself and brave enough to be hated for who you are.

The immediate consequences are:

• Some people may leave you because they no longer find you relevant or exciting to be with
• Your network can start gossiping to hurt you. You’ll need to deal with gossip and maintain a balance with what you stand for
• Some might even start treating you as a threat and ostracise you from the society

However, the return you get is the joy in being true and getting rid of all pretence. The above examples show an extreme case where people may not like you.

But there is also a possibility that people love the brave new you and want to know more about you. Never underestimate the strength and power your personality can bring into others’ lives.

How to be comfortable with being hated for what you are?

This is the most important part of this discussion – being comfortable with being who you are. You may either be loved or hated for who you are. You’ll not know unless you try.

We started with the premise that it is better to be hated for who you are than to be loved for the wrong reasons. These wrong reasons hurt you in the long run. You’ll lose the essence of your personality for false pretence. The worst part is that no matter how good you are at pretending, you’ll still not be enough. Without the originality of your personality, it is easy to take you for granted.

Instead of falling into this vicious cycle, think for yourself and be conscious about the type of person you are and want to be. There’s nothing wrong with changing for society as long as it is something you truly want. But make sure that it is something you want to do and aren’t coerced into it by peer pressure.

It can be powerful to be in a group, but it is more powerful to be yourself and bring out the beauty within.

It is better to be hated for what you are than being loved for what you are not

Andre Gide