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Deal with criticism: This article takes you through 10 practical tips on how to deal with criticism. There is a fine balance between criticism and feedback. In this discussion, we tackle separating criticism and its noise from valuable feedback. We’re shaping this discussion in the context of self-improvement.

Meaning of Criticism

The simplest definition of criticism is a show of disapproval for your action/thoughts. It is also a reference to judgements or observations about an activity. Criticism is either a great foe or friend, but a constant companion.

It isn’t always easy to deal with criticism, but you can handle it by protecting yourself from the harmful impact. Although it sounds simplistic, you’re not in control of your circumstances, but of your response to them.

Ref: https://www.yourdictionary.com/criticism

In other words, you can use criticism to your advantage instead of allowing it to affect you. In the following 10 tips, we unpick managing criticism to give you the best chance of progress.

Quotes on Criticism

This is a gallery of quotes on criticism, how to deal with it.

Identify why they are criticising you

Even though criticism sounds like they are pointing fingers at you, take a curious stance. Don’t bother defending yourself or explaining the reasons and rationale. Instead, try to understand what they really mean?

In this exercise, your objective is to find the value in this criticism. Ignore and redirect all personal attacks. Instead – ask objective questions. Don’t give them the satisfaction or avenue to vent their anger or disappointment. Direct this conversation into a constructive dialogue where you can find a use for this criticism.

Criticism sometimes is an unnecessary hurt on your emotions. You’ll need to protect yourself. You can do this by understanding the source of these critical outbursts. Key questions to ask yourself are:

• Why are they saying it? What have they lost because of your actions?
• Are they doing this because they are jealous of you and want to get back at you?
• Or is it simply because they want to hurt you for a sadistic pleasure?

The reasons can be plenty. Finding this source of truth helps you build a stance or outlook for this conversation.

Find out the message beyond a critic’s anger

Many times, people don’t necessarily mean everything they say. Often criticism comes across as a response to anger, disappointment and hurt. Beyond these reactions, there is a valuable feedback. In some ways this exercise is an adventure to find out the hidden message in a critics response.

Although it may sound like putting you down, surely they have better things to do. Instead of giving into their emotions and reactions, play a distant role. Find out the message behind their criticism. If you are trying to deal with criticism, giving into a fight is one of the quickest way to lose it before it starts.

Engage in a constructive conversation. Ask questions like

• How could have I done this differently?
• Were there any signals I missed which could have been used to change the result?

Put them on a solution mode instead of complaining mode.

Distance yourself from the situation to focus on dealing with criticism

Criticism is nothing but feedback wrapped in a harsh cover. Peel off this cover of anger, hurt and disappointment to focus on the objective outcome. Ultimately, your biggest gain is in moving away from the problem to work on the solution. You cannot afford to waste your time just fighting about criticism.

Distance yourself from the problem. Look at the situation objectively. If two people were fighting, how would you intervene?

Don’t give in to the temptation of the situation. Move away and ask objectively – how could I have prevented this? Don’t let the conversation be about the hurt it has caused. It isn’t going to be a constructive one. Instead, focus on finding a solution to the problem.

Empathise and understand the point of view of your critic

It is often said that in an argument, there are 3 view points

• Your View
• My View and
• The right View

Jokes aside, the key factor in dealing with criticism is active listening. We spoke about Active Listening in one of our previous articles in developing leadership. The same principles can be extended here.

Instead of defending your situation, play the devil’s advocate. Find out if there’s value in their criticism. If you were to take this comment on board, would you have a better chance at success?

Listen to valuable feedback amidst criticism

Not every critical viewpoint will have an answer. You must play the clever role of sorting out which criticism to respond to. This is similar to listening to music amidst the noise. Not every feedback is valuable or qualified.

While devising a strategy on how to deal with criticism, you need to identify the valuable feedback disguised as noise. Also, you will need to separate noise from actual feedback. In order to do this, you’ll need to distance yourself from the problem. Don’t take it personally although it is extremely tempting.

Your ultimate goal is to make the best of your situation to progress and develop further. Don’t miss out on valuable feedback just because of the background noise.

Find out a use for criticism – a practical direction to move ahead

One of the key factors in how to deal with criticism is by asking this question consistently – How can I use this situation? You might not get an answer straightaway.

But, this questions helps you focus on the right questions to provide you a solution. The answer to your problems doesn’t just lie in dealing with criticism but with attacking the source of the problem. Pivot thoughts to a constructive approach. Criticism makes you feel horrible – I completely agree to that.

But you cannot afford to waste all your time on just feeling bad. There needs to be a value and use for these disapproving statements. Make it a quest to find that value.

Deal with criticism by providing a plan/response strategy

You don’t have to respond to criticism straight away. Take your time and devise your response strategy. By this, I don’t mean finding the best way to answer to your critics.

This segment on dealing with criticism is about being honest to yourself and finding a constructive way out. If there are problems, accept them and devise a way for solution. Although people are complaining about a problem, your denial will not help.

Instead, find a way to solve the problem and lay out a strategy. You’ll find that more people will be willing to help if you seek and show that you truly want to make a change.

Show small but consistent results of progress

Your strategy to deal with criticism needs some victories to show confidence. You can’t do this by taking the most difficult or time consuming tasks. If there’s a problem, work out a solution.

In doing so, find out the most impactful actions and identify how it can add value to the affected people. Most solutions take time and repetitions. Work your way through these solutions and respond with successful results. These have a way of showing confidence to the critics and helps you deal with their criticism.

A part of this journey is also about building confidence in the people you’re working with.

Deal with criticism by working with your critics to collaborate

Success is never achieved alone. It is a collaborative step. If your questions are on how to deal with criticism, find ways to make your critics a part of your solution.

Surely, it will take longer and you’ll need to be creative. But don’t let that deter you from your goals. You can find answers and necessary help if people trust you. Make them a part of your solution journey and find out if there’s a way to work with them. Instead of something being your idea alone, find out if you can manage a collaborative approach.

Listen to Feedback, iterate and Improve

This is the most important step in how to deal with criticism. Every criticism is a feedback. Some of this is valid and the rest might just be pure noise.

But you cannot disregard all criticism as useless. There is value in listening to feedback and choosing the ones to act on. Pick the ones which give you positive results. Work on them and show the results. If your results don’t get the desired response, change your approach. Most successes are iterative and so is dealing with criticism.

Listen to feedback consistently and find ways to improve your approach.

Conclusion

None of these steps are designed to provide you an immediate answer. Dealing with criticism is an iterative and time consuming process. It is of utmost importance to protect your emotions and feelings through the process.

Try to distance yourself from the process as much as possible. I don’t mean to say that you lose your passion. Your passion drives you and creates a magical impact. Don’t let that be hurt by criticism. The key is to not take it personally. Instead view of it as an objective feedback and constantly find a way ahead.

Most important point to remember is to focus more on the solution than the problem