Happy people focus on what they have: I’m often fascinated by our lives which is usually broken down into what we have and what we aspire for. True enough, it is not always easy to find a fair balance between the two. This is nothing to do with greed or any other emotions which people look down upon. This quote analysis is just about what you want vs what you have.
Does this mean that we should forget about aspiring for better goals in life? What about all the dreams we have which makes us want to do things? Should we give up on them? Perhaps that’s where you’ll find the crux of this quote – balance between things we have and the ones we don’t. Both of these have fascinating energies and emotions associated. This article is about cleverly making use of these emotions so that you can achieve what matters the most to you.
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Happy people focus on what they have
This is a difficult task – to just focus on what we have and ignore what we don’t. As human beings, we are trained to think of what’s missing and making it happen. It is in fact the cornerstone of our achievements. I completely believe in the necessity of a healthy level of dissatisfaction to raise the quality of life. According to this quote, being happy is easy because happy people focus on what they have. Perhaps it means that they ignore what they don’t have.
This however is a naive approach. No one can ignore what they don’t have. Perhaps the difference is in the way we look at things that we don’t have. It is the level of dissatisfaction that makes a difference on how we perceive things that we don’t have. If the things that we don’t have motivates us and keeps us happy then there’s no problem. However, if these things make us restless, impatient and constantly unhappy, then this is a cry for help. We will have to change things and bring the balance back into life.
Gratitude and happiness in life with what we have
Another element this quote makes us think about is the level of gratitude that we have for our life. It is often said that the secret of happiness is in having gratitude for what we have. This reinforces the thinking of the quote – happy people focus on what they have. The gratitude makes us think that life has given us a lot and makes us realise and reflect on what we have.
But I think there’s a danger in looking at quotes in isolation. This doesn’t mean that we ignore reality. We are either happy or unhappy depending on the state of our mind. We can’t lie to ourselves or deny what’s really happening. It is better to be unhappy than dishonestly thinking that life is great because we focus on what we have and ignore what we don’t.
Your emotions are a beautiful guide to what you’re feeling at any point in time. The society and peers influence us by telling what we should feel. In this process, we lose out somehting very important – the ability to listen to our own emotions. We don’t live life by anyone’s standards. The same applies for your definition of happiness. It is and should be different from others. And if someone tells you to feel happy about what you have, then you have every right to ignore them and focus on what your mind is telling you.
However, please note that this comes with a fair bit of balance. You can’t always focus on what you don’t have to a detrimental effect. Remember, your emotions are there to help you – not to harass you. No one is 100% happy or unhappy. We all have moments which define these experiences and emotions for us. Don’t mistake these moments as permanent feelings. Try to listen to both these emotions and what they are trying to tell you.
Unhappy people focus on what is missing
I don’t want to preach you to not focus on what you don’t have. Like I said, what you don’t have also tells you that your mind is desiring something. Instead of lamenting or feeling bad about something you don’t have, your best results are in finding a way to achieve these things.
The emotion has done its job, it has told you what the mind is asking for. It is now upto you to decide what you want to do about it. Your choices are:
- Ignore it like the society asks you and find a way to feel happy. In other words – Compromise
- Be curious and ask yourself why do you want this and how it makes you feel
- Also ask – is the demand reasonable? And even if it is not, ask why you want this so badly
- Finally, look at what you can do to get there. It might not be a simple task, but yet there might be a way if you look deep enough.
I want to challenge the quote by saying – you ought to focus on what you don’t have as well. Don’t force your mind to feel something it doesn’t. The mind doesn’t work that way. Instead, listen to your emotions and focus these energies on doing something about it.
Happy people focus on what they have and recognise what to be grateful for
While I stand by the above explanation, I’d also like to point out that we can’t ignore the emotions about things we have. Our minds are focused on the next best thing in life. And often the mind responds to pain of not having something vs the satisfaction of having something. All I’m saying is – it is fine to be dissatisfied with a few things, but it is not fine to be miserable about it.
The feeling of misery doesn’t help anyone. It doesn’t help you solve the problem either. The best way you can do that is by ensuring that you celebrate for what you have. In here, the focus of discussion is happiness. You can still be dissatisfied, but find a way to be happy about things. At any point – your life is a representation of all the work you’ve done until now. If you aren’t proud or happy about the things that have led you here, you’re doing yourself a great disservice. In other words, you’re being unfair on yourself.
I don’t buy into the philosophy of being sad all the time to get attention from yourself. That’s not the way – your best results are in listening to your emotions respectfully and finding a route to achieve your results. It will be difficult but that’s where you have the happiness – happy people focus on what they have.
“Happy People Focus On What They Have,Unhappy People Focus On What Is Missing”
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And Happy people get everything,just so simple.
He he, Well Suraj, it sure looks like that, but maybe they present it so well that it looks like they get everything, atleast to the external eye :)
Depending on how we look at life, we either see the glass half filled or half empty. Nice post Vinay. I concur that happiness should not depend solely on external triggers or circumstances.
True Somali, I guess life will always have those aspects which can be improved upon, the aspects where we need more and at the same time a few aspects that are well covered. And when we look at someone else’s life, we just see what is missing in ours cos we are that conscious about it. It is fair though, but the beauty might just be in seeing a little beyond that and taking control of what we feel about the outcomes around us. I agree that it is easier said than done, but it sure is a very exciting thing to try that.
Wise words
Thank you Lata :)