Reach your goals: I have a dream, you have a dream, we all have a dream and we love to be in that fantasy world where this dream is achieved and everything we touch turns pure gold. Isn’t it a fantastic reverie to be in such a world where you feel how great this life is and keep wanting more of it? I know I certainly love such a world and I would love to get into that fantastic mode.
But then, something wakes us up, tells us that it was all a dream and we should not associate a lot of meaning to it and there are a lot of other ways you can lead a happy life. Of course there is not BIG FAT LIE there, but there is no BIG FAT TRUTH either. It somehow gives a great escape and tells us that it is OK not to pursue our dreams.
We have of course talked a lot about dreams on this site and we will keep talking about them for they are the only ones that are going to keep us alive in the long run, they are the ones which make us live and relive our lives and they are the ones which make us reach out to the inner self and find a way to set it free.
Here are the top 10 reasons to avoid to reach your goals in life.
1) THE RATIONALIZATIONS
“The dream is too difficult, it is a super human task to achieve it. The world is not ready for it, the market will not understand the product, I have a lot of commitments, there are a lot of people depending on me, people in my home do not understand the meaning of a dream, I have come from a family of difficulties and risk taking does not come naturally to me”
Do any of these reasons sound familiar? Have you by any chance used them at any point in your life? I know I have, and there is nothing wrong in that, we all have done that at some stage of our life and we have also faced its results. One of the strongest reasons why we have have these rationalizations is that it is easier to say that it was the mistake of the dream than to own up the responsibility. It is tough to say that I did not do something cos it opens up another question – WHY?!
I know I am being a little too harsh here, but we are talking about something most precious to you, I would rather be harsh than just trying to make you feel good or happy about yourself. We would rather look at the solution than the feel good factor.
2) WHAT IS THE DREAM
Well! What was this dream of yours? What did you want to achieve in LIFE? Please do write to us below, we love listening to dreams and contemplating on them and if possible maybe find a way if there is to figure a way to achieve them!
So what was this dream of yours? Something that made you extremely excited that you left everything else you were doing, something that would turn your attention toward it no matter what you did, something that would wake you in the middle of the night and bring a smile to your face. What was this dream of yours? What did you want to achieve?
3) WHY DO WE WANT TO ACHIEVE THIS DREAM?
Why did you want to achieve this dream? Was it to make the world a better place, was it to ease out the challenges you were facing, was it to tell yourself that you are capable of doing it, was it to prove a point, was it to discover or invent an extraordinary solution.
Whatever these reasons were/are, they are the most divine ones, they are the ones that are going to decide whether you are going to reach your dream or not.
One of the most beautiful statements I have ever read is this “If you have a strong enough WHY, you will figure out the HOW!”
4) HOW TO ACHIEVE THIS DREAM?
Well, we are on the right path of chasing the dream. Esp when you have a very strong answer for the question above, the HOW is the next immediate one and a sensible one. This is the place where you will have a lot of options. Ideally, it is best to list out the three best solutions you can come up with, choose the best one and set yourself into action. There are a lot of things you realize when you are acting on a solution vs contemplating on it.
There will be a lot of challenges you will come across and there will be a lot of solutions which you had never thought of, but one thing you have to be clear is THE ULTIMATE GOAL. The modes can go wrong, it is very natural to make a mistake and it is very natural that the most perfect plan may not work out.
But that is not your goal, it is just a way to reach your goal. You cannot afford to let that distract you. You just have to find another way to make it work.
Remember, the only choice you have is to make it work, the HOW may vary, but you got to make it work!
5) WHAT DOES IT TAKE TO ACHIEVE THIS DREAM?
What does it take according to you? The answer to this question lies in what the dream means to you! If it means that much to you, then I would say it takes everything you got!
A dream is something that is going to make you uncomfortable from time to time but you would not mind that cos you know where you are headed, the problems or the challenges are just the set backs and roadblocks in this journey of yours, but they alone are not going to decide anything for you. The only thing that decides the outcome is the passion behind your dream and the need to achieve it!
6) DO I HAVE IT IN ME?
If you ask your relatives or neighbors or parents, the answer is directly proportional to the amount of risk it entails. If it is a risky proposition, the straight forward answer you get is a NO! Honestly, they are going to say no, not because they don’t care about you, but cos they would have never taken that risk in life and the unknown scares them.
So… Ask the right person, ask yourself. Do you have it in you? Come on, you should not be thinking this, if you have a strong enough WHY, there is no place for this question. The answer is undoubtedly a YES!
7) WHAT OTHER CHOICES DO I HAVE?
After all these questions and setting up of a dream, one of the most common questions that comes to our intelligent minds is the alternatives. Is there a safer option? Is there a solution with less risk and more gains – this is where our rational man becomes happily active and starts giving out various options. And the more you think about it and ask people around, the more solutions you get. Just one question though, how close is each of these solutions to your dream?
The moment you realize that it is distracting you from the ultimate purpose, steer away. It is ok to be rude, it is ok to screw up sometimes, it is ok to be irrational. We are not buying a product advertised on TV here, we are talking about something precious for us, so stop being extremely rational about it!
8) IT IS VERY PAINFUL TO LOSE, HENCE I WON’T TRY
Well the moment we see options, we see the cost benefit analysis. We see that one of them has the least risk and the natural tendency is to go after it. One of the strangest things about the human mind is that we cling on to the feeling of losing something easily.
How many times have you been trapped by a sign which says – Last day of discount sales and went on to the show room even if you didn’t want something
How many times have you went to a silly play cos it was the last time ever it was going to be telecast?
How many times have you forced yourself to eat an extra morsel since you will not have that opportunity again?
Well, isn’t it a similar line here? It hurts to miss out on something, but something we don’t look at is how painful it is not to follow up on your dream. The pain of regret is a lot more powerful than the pain you are going to face through action.
9) IT IS NOT WORKING OUT, MAYBE IT IS TIME TO SHIFT BACK
Well, isn’t that an option or a way out? I know that it hurts when something doesn’t work, but it doesn’t mean that it is not going to work at all! A deviation may not mean that it is the end of the road.
Very easily we tend to assume the worst, give ourselves a rationalization that you tried something and it did not work and you came back. But again, that was not why you started, was it?
Wasn’t it a further compelling reason, wasn’t it a stronger you who decided to go against all odds and achieve something in LIFE? Then why do you want to listen to a weaker YOU who is responding to defeat and base your decision on that?
10) PLAN A, B, C, D , E, ,……………………..X,Y,Z……. A1, A2, ……………………..Z1, Z2,……………
“People are beset not by the lack of opportunity but by a dizzying abundance of them”. We always have an exit route, if something does not work, there is something else to save our soul.
We always save for the rainy day. On one end it is considered smart, but on the other, sometimes you got to know that it holds you back. If you are focused on a dream, then for the sake of it, stay with it. There will be plenty of alternate plans later on, but not right now.
It is not the time to try and find escape routes, it is the time to dream, it is the time to follow your goal to reach your destiny!
So… What is your dream?
Discover more from Inspire99
Subscribe to get the latest posts sent to your email.
it is really a very helpful speech. But i am confused as i don’t know what i want to become. My dream is to take the defense of india to next level. I want to develop advance missiles. But don’t know how to achieve it. Can you help me
Thank you mate :). It is indeed a delight to see this comment from you. This certainly tops as the best for the day and this is one article I really loved writing and I am even gladder to know that you liked it. More to come mate, will keep them coming :)
Hey Vinay, Thanks for the nice article.
It is true that we should have a clear goals in life. Identify your talent and work on it. Let not the Fear of failure stops you.
Thank you mate. This reminds me of a wonderful quote –
” I was afraid of so many things in life, most of which never happened!”
I guess as a culture we do give a lot more importance to the fear than it actually deserves. It is a beautiful struggle to try and come out of it :)
Hi Vinay I eagerly wait to read your new articles.. Though I read many personality development books your approach in presenting them in a practical way and with logical explanation strikes my heart . To tell about my Dream.. It is to become IAS officer.. It has been five years I have been dreaming to prepare for civil services exam.. I am actually obsessed with and in love with the words CIVILS and IAS.. They excite me like anything else.. But because of financial problems I have been working as a software engineer in TCS.. But my heart is always there with civil services.. Noway there is any chance that I can leave this job.. Because no job I won’t even get 2000 from my family.. I know these may sound like I am telling excuses but really sometimes I go hopeless… I already completed 25 years.. I can’t leave the job.. But to give a serious attempt one needs at least one year serious and regular preparation.. But with the job which I am doing I am not confident that can give required time for the preparation.. And if this goes on like this I just not finding any hope that I can realize my dream.. Though after reading many motivational articles and books.. I tried telling myself that If my dream is really strong then I find ways to realize it rather stopping at telling excuses and may be common problems for common people so if I want to get something which others are not getting I should work like no one else working… But when it comes to practical I Am not moving for ward.. So my problem is is there any way that I can clear this exam while I continue job??
Thank you Jayasimha for sharing your dream and such amazing words about me :). I really feel very proud to read such great words. I too have been a huge fan of these personality development books and started reading them very early. Somehow somewhere I feel that there needs to be a bridge between those ideals and their application which gave birth to this site Inspire99 and it has focussed on it from then on :).
I am really happy to know that it is realizing its purpose and such words truly make my day :). You have a fantastic dream mate and to know that you have been persevering is a beautiful thing, keep it up mate, I am sure you will get there.
I understand the constraints and I also understand the need for you to stay in a job. In your case, none of these sound like excuses, they are genuine concerns and you are finding a way to work with them which is truly admirable. I had a friend who made into IPS while working with me in Analog Devices and it was quite an inspiring feeling talking to him. I wish I could have put you in touch with him but unfortunately I have lost contact. But I think it is truly an achievable task. The way I see it, you have a very strong WHY and that will take you far.
There sure is a way to clear this exam mate. I think you need to find a way to be organized better, make sure that you spend atleast 6Hrs a day on this exam keeping everything aside. You know your priorities, it is going to be hard but stick to them, they will find you a way out. And motivation is a very interesting thing, the more you do it, the closer you get to your results and that inspires you for more;. I think the need of the hour is your strategy and time utilization. If you master that, the IAS exam should be a cake walk for you :) ..
Cheers mate :)
Thanks for yor reply..to know that your friend has cleared it giving me some hope..Yea It is the time to strategise and use my time effectively.. I also hope that compilation of your articles come in a book form :)
Thank you Jayasimha, I hope so too. Maybe sometime soon. That is one dream I have from a long time, to write a book on these motivational ideas, hopefully it will all come to a reality :).
Happy to bring a smile Jayasimha, I am sure you will bring some innovative strategies to make it happen. I would be happy to help in any small way I can. Will stay in touch.
Cheers mate :)
I echo Chaitali’s words. Coming to your question – Well, I have many “Dreams”…not just one…but most of them are simple and most goals are achievable. I haven’t learn to dream big yet probably not in this life. One such dream is to give back to the community one way or another. I hope to focus “more” of my time towards that in my late 40’s. This article did help me validate few of my dreams. Thanks Vinay.
Thank you very much Vidhya :). Hopefully some day soon, we shall get there.
That’s beautiful to have these dreams Vidhya and the simpler they are, the more inspiring they are and faster you can move from one dream to another. I think a BIG DREAM is more of a hype, each us have that special calling in ourselves and those special callings define who we are. And if we are satisfied and happy with those special callings, then nothing better than that indeed :).
I am happy to know that the post infused a thought, that was all I was hoping for when I came up with this post. Hopefully we will keep coming with more such ones in the future :)
Your articles are day by day becoming a compilation for a book on self improvement…bravo
Thank you Chaitali, such lovely words, I am humbled and proud all at the same time :).
I certainly hope some day to come out with a book on these ideas compiled together, hopefully with time I will be able to bring one such interesting one :)
Good article. Plenty of relevant points.
Thank you Ash :)
Most of the times its the fear of the unknown that stops us. We are “result oriented” most of the times. I believe each one of us should have that one “Moonshot” that pulls you out of your bead each morning. I wrote on this similar subject a while back : http://thethinkinhat.com/2013/03/22/dream-on/
A well articulated post!
Thank you :). I couldnt agree more, I like the use of the word moonshot! :). It is a great feeling to know that there is a purpose and a result to achieve each day and give everything you have for it. It is a great fulfilling feeling for sure :)
My dream turned into fantasy (as now its unattainable )was to travel the world and write a book of travel-cum-experience that is reality meets fiction. It happened (non realization) because I was not fully aware of what I wanted. had I met you at that time Vinay … So No pangs of sadness :) Now my other dream the plan B was to be a lecturer… which thankfully is realized (some hiccups are still there) overall I am pleased :)
That;s fantastic Kokila :). Realizing a dream is one of the most beautiful things in the world. You never know how an opportunity would strike again, for all you know it may come back in a completely unexpected format making it happen for you :).
Oh nice, you are a lecturer? thats pretty cool :).
My dream is to inspire others, I guess I am following my dream as well. Honestly Vinay you put forward a very interesting topic. Actually we all should chase our own dreams. No matter if it is so hard or so easy, but we should follow our dreams…
Thank you Alok. That is a beautiful dream to have, I have a very similar dream as well, to motivate people and make them realize that life can be simple and easy and also extremely rich. There is so much in life to feel and be a part of and dreams are an amazing way to get there :)
A well neat & structured article with solid points to ponder about making dreams a reality. I admire your straight approach & focused vision, Vinay.
Thank you Ravish, I love writing about dreams and aspirations, I feel there is so much in life to feel good about and so much to pursue and time is one hell of a challenge indeed :)