Blame Culture! What Blaming Can Do
Something goes bad and there you are trying to figure out whom to blame rather than trying to figure out what went wrong. How many of us do it? Say I, don’t be shy, most of us do it. We may not do it purposefully but somewhere if we try analysing our reaction to a situation we will find ourselves blaming someone or the other and yes that someone or the other might also include FATE.
Why this Blame Culture then? It’s easy! It’s easy to escape from the emotional disturbance of our minds. But does it balance emotions after blaming someone? Hmmm… Well, we might have to think more here. It sure does provide some relief momentarily but what it does for a long time affects our own well being of mind.
Here is a witty video from Brene Brown on Blame
Blame is in an inverse relationship with accountability
The more you blame the more people notice you for all bad things. It takes all sorts of meaning. Let us agree with you, your intention was to just release your stress and figure out who aroused a problem but what message are the blames sending to the other person? Hatred? Disrespect? Incapability? Untrust? Disliking? We can go on and on with the feelings on what a single blame can cause.
Now let’s focus on what blaming someone results in us. Relief? Escape from problem? Stress burst? Same as above, We can go on and on with the feelings on what a single blame can make us feel. We so love this feeling of releasing our stress but unfortunately it’s always linked to someone else. How nice if it only affected us. Now that we pretty well understand it doesn’t isn’t it clever to focus on what it does.
When you blame someone very often without thinking much, here is what you are trying to tell them: “I am in loss of my own control. ” and what the person who is a victim of your blame thinks? “Uh! Not again! Do you even care what I feel?”
Considering what Blame can do, we have to agree with Brene Brown when she says, “Blame is in an inverse relationship with accountability”
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I’d like to share a quote of Dr. Sweety Shinde, from her book Arjun: Without A Doubt, on blame: “What does a blame game achieve? The accused feels defensive & bitter, the accuser feels absolved of all responsibility… and neither comes out wiser, cleaner or better than before.”
That’s a very nice statement Ravish. Especially when she says “neither comes wiser.” Thank you for sharing.
I agree with your views.
I never like to be a party to the blame-game.
I take up ownership :)
Thank you Anita. Nice to know your views on the blame game
Great, this post is not for me and I am happy :D :p I never blame anyone for whatvever happens in my life. Lately, I have learned that I am responsible for my own experiences and nobody can ruin my plans or anything, until and unless I allow them to do so. Blaming is easy and when we take responsibility for whatever has gone wrong, we find peace and solution for the problem too.
Thank you Nitin. I think taking up one’s own responsibility for all the things that happens in life is a daring step to do. Very nice to know you are on the right track :)