Being a Misfit: Keeping our individuality alive?

Being a misfit: Today’s inspiration is derived from a beautiful ted talk from Lidia Yuknavich about the beauty of being a misfit. Naturally we’ve all heard a lot of inspiring quotes about being a misfit. Some of those beautifully celebrate this aspect.

However, I do find that most of these quotes romanticise a simple natural aspect. There is certainly a beauty in being a misfit, and I am not going to deny that. I most often feel that about myself and I bet quite a lot of people do.

It is hard to conform ourselves to the norms of generalisation. If we are to set ourselves free, the norms hold us back. The society often feels really weird – we are expected to live within its norms. The moment we stray, we are immediately punished, but after a while the same is rewarded. I don’t think I am experienced enough to take a side on this yet.

But, I can certainly appreciate what Lidia talks about in this wonderful ted talk

Who am I?

I don’t know about others, but it is a question which constantly is by me. It is the one question which defines my reactions to situations and people around me.

If my definition is of a polite person, I am not inclined to delve into a lot of conflicts. I don’t want to explain whether that is right or wrong, but that’s a frame of thought.

If my definition of who I am is a misfit: I would look at the social scenarios and keep thinking how I am different. I have done this far more than necessary and felt awful about myself. It is not always a great place to be in, but it is a place which I certainly think influences a thought. The thought this time is:

• Is it is a thought which helps me?
• Does it make me feel good about myself?
• If not, why am I entertaining this in my life?

These certainly are retrospective questions, but I do find them better than – What is wrong with me?!

Should we celebrate being different?

We recently talked about a post – ‘It takes nothing to join the crowd, but everything to stand alone’ . The tone I recall in that was about trying to stand up for our own thoughts beyond being a misfit or classified into a segment. The tone was of rebellion, but here I would like to take the tone of acceptance and pride.

It is about who we are as a person and whether that serves us or not. Quite honestly, I don’t really care if I am misfit or not. Maybe I am one and I feel uncomfortable with a lot of things. But those should not limit me for the things I really deserve in life. These are the things which mean a lot to me and I am willing to put the effort for.

I can certainly romanticize being a misfit and imagine being on a crusade for my views. But I don’t really want to do that. It is not an image I can think of myself in. But the point in this story by Lidia is about finding that story about ourselves. We are beyond this story, individually it is a person and a set of values. It is only a part of us which we decide to expose to the world and our views are fully justified to be different.

Being a Misfit

The bottom-line of all this is in sheer acceptance of who we are. Given a chance, the world, society around us would want to turn us into something we are uncomfortable with. Yes, there is a certain influence in conformity. But, there is also an influence about being a misfit.

The point is about listening to the inner voice which screams at us about situations. Whether you are a misfit or not, it is a perception. It might just be yours or mine, but it is a perception. I keep circling back to the same question. Does this thought process help you or limit you? If it is a limiting thought, does it deserve your mental space?

Obviously, it is not easy to ignore these thoughts and immediately transform us. But, this is our minds and environment. If we are not exerting the influence we want, then there are larger things to worry about.

Whether you are a misfit or not, I don’t think anyone else can be a good judge of it. It is only us and that’s the only place where a judgement matters. Everything else can and maybe, just maybe ‘should be irrelevant’