Problem Solving: The 6 Confusing Quests
We all hate our troubles, our problems and our challenges. There is no doubt in that!
Although morally I would say that these troubles or failures are the biggest friends in my life which help me develop and grow, I do understand that it really sucks to be facing these problems in life. And the quest to solve these problems is most times enervating, challenging, creating restlessness and what not. And as you go out to seek advice, the chances are that we are more confused than we started with. Our post on The 6 Types of People who advice you will give a clear picture of the kind of confusions we are in to when on this quest.
Anyways, after a lot of struggle, we do get into the mood of looking at our problem closely. And here are the 6 stages that take you through the process of your problems
Denial
If it is an outcome you do not like at all, then there is no way I would accept it right away. I would try and find a way to say that it has not happened, try and deny the occurrence of an event.
Eventually I know that it is true but yet I do not want to cast away the possibility cos I really liked the definition I had earlier and the new occurrence kinda wrecked the plans I had made based on.
No matter how much we would like to say no, I guess sometimes what has happened has happened and at some point we all have to accept that.
I agree that it is not the easiest thing to say yes to, but hey it has happened – the question is not how much you or I like it, it is not even about how it affects our plans, it is just that it has happened and we need to find a way out of it.
Definition of the Problem
Once we accept what has happened, the next quest is automatic. We know that something has gone wrong, it is not just a distant voice anymore, we are consciously accepting that something has really gone wrong.
There is a problem that has happened and we need to solve it and we need to find ways to solve it. It maybe creative ways or the tried and tested ways, but the fact is this much – we need to solve it.
In order to do so, sometimes, we need to step away from the problem just enough so that we can have a broader look at it and identify the big picture and how this incident affects the big picture.
If it largely affects the big picture and demands a course of action, then perhaps the solution is in making an overhaul of approach and then looking at different approaches you can take towards the solution.
But again, we have to ensure that we do not define the problem by what happens to us, but we define it by what has happened and what we want in the end. These are the two elements that will take us in the path of a solution.
Options
Ideal math says that you should have atleast 3 options towards a solution! This is perhaps a little annoying cos when we are stuck in a challenge, it is hard enough to find one solution but I am asking you to find about 3 solutions here. And at some point I am quite certain that you might feel like throwing a punch on my face. Well, I feel like that too, but let us wait a bit before we waste a precious punch ;).
The math says find 3 solutions – the first one naturally being the most preferrable one, the solution and the path you would like to take. The second one is of course the plan B and the third one of the lowest priority. This is not to make you feel that you have plenty of options and life still seems fair. Maybe that is one point, but the real essence is that you need to exercise yourself enough to understand that there are solutions, sometimes beyond what we can comprehend right now.
Make those three options, delve into that confusion as to which one to choose. You will eventually pick that one choice which works the best for you.
Making a Decision
Once you have these many options, it is never the easiest choice to make to pick one and stay with it!
We all would love to take a perfect decision but experience and our past life has already taught us that there is nothing called a perfect decision. We talked about The 7 Silly Stages To Decision Making and we realize how challenging taking a decision is.
Perhaps that is the reason why it gets so exciting. We all know that we can be wrong and that excites us, that scares us and that makes us wonder what if things don’t work out.
But isn’t that the fun of it? Isn’t that the adventure we are all after in our lives. What is the point or what is definition of winning big if you don’t have the threat of a loss at all? And perhaps the greatest victory is when you have a large hand at stake – just like gambling you see ;)
Acting on the Decision
This perhaps defines it all! We all are very smart people, we spend a lot of time on analyzing our problems, finding out various options we have, performing the permutations and combinations as to why a solution might not work.
But in this process, sometimes we seem to forget the most important part : Acting on our decisions. Of course this is the toughest part and the theory will sometimes be way different from what we see in action. The theoretical part always seems very rosy compared to what we face in real life.
As Ralph Waldo Emerson says:
“Your actions speak so loudly, I can not hear what you are saying”
And that is perhaps why history has always been very kind to the performers than the thinkers. A war was never won by the planner, he led the way, it was the executor who made the difference. I am assuming you are the executor too. You don’t want to be a thinker or a philosopher, right now – the priority is to solve your problems and right now, let us just look at that. And the rest I am sure will simply follow you on your path to fulfillment!
Looking for feedback
Along the way on our decision, we will encounter a lot of these situations where things don’t seem to work at all. At this juncture, we have a question that surfaces – Do I need to find an alternate path, was the decision which I took wrong? Am I as stupid/silly as this outcome is making me feel?
Well, I would try and point you towards a different question – Is there a way I can make this decision work? If so, HOW?
If not, what changes can I make to make this path work for me? We all have been very objective in our lives, but let us for once be a bit subjective. Let us once not care about whether something is going to work or not. More often than not, the question has to be about
How can I make this work rather than whether?!
Staying on Track
And stick to your track. By definition – Decision Making means that you cut off all other options from your life and stay committed towards this one decision – the decision to make it work, the decision to get your life back on track.
None of the solutions or thought will magically help you in the end if you do not persevere. The real solution is in your actions and your perseverance.
“Are great things ever done smoothly? Time, patience, and indomitable will must show”
– Swami Vivekananda
Nothing in life was ever promised to be easy and I guess nothing in life ever will be easy, but we need to be there as long as it takes to find that solution.
That is how all the biggest achievements in this world in the world have been made. If people can make such big achievements with perseverance…
What is stopping us?
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Nice article on ‘solving problems’. They say, the problem will be half solved when we understanding it. I have also observed that once we understand the problem, automatically the solution flashes! Yes, next we should definitely act!
I liked reading your conversations with your readers! It is a great relief to know, ‘I am not the only one who commits mistakes’ :P Ha haa :D
Thanks Vinay for visiting my blog and encouraging me with your kind words :) These days were really hard for me to be regular to the blogging activities… Yes, I must act, how much ever it is hard! Thanks for the support! TC! Keep smiling :)
Thank you Sindhoo :). I agree, a problem is half solved and sometimes maybe more than half the moment we accept it and start acting upon it.
I guess the toughest part is setting ourselves into action to start with. And a little later – maintaining that momentum and a little further later making sure it is complete and finishing it..
He he he :D .. I believe we all are on the same boat with our unique challenges and unique approaches too. Maybe somewhere there is a simpler solution and the hunt and this site will always be about that. Finding those simple solutions which can make our lives a lot simpler and easier.
The pleasure is all mine Sindhoo. Would love to see more of your posts, it is nice and refreshing to see you here. I do understand that blogging regularly becomes quite a challenge sometimes, esp when life around becomes so demanding. But on the other end, I guess that is something which defines us and unites us all. Quite a refreshing feat to be doing it :) ..
Looking forward to more of you :)
Very logical steps in problem solving. If we can follow these we can have control over our life. But the problem is we often forget logic when we are in a problem … :D …Thanks for the post!
Thank you Moon Roy :). From my experience, I realize that I go through these steps often. But knowing that I am going through them makes it a lot more easier and also to focus on what is really important at that point of time.
That way I get to know what stage I am in, maybe learn to quickly go through the other steps which are not very important and finally get to the one which gives me a solution. Maybe that way, we really get closer to what we actually want..
Well well well Viany.. for me the the “action part” is the toughest ..sigh .. … And that is why it is that ‘tomorrow never comes ..it simply registers as yesterday ….’
will try definitely .. :P :P ) Its a Bang on Post !
He he, I guess we are all there Kokila. I think everytime something goes wrong, I go through all these steps over and over and how I wish I could jump to the last one.. Actions, actions and actions :D ..
But then someone once told me – Vinay your ego should be shattered, it makes you closer to the real life.
I guess from then on it has been shattered a lot of times and I am maybe getting closer. However, I would like the shattering to stop sometimes, just to make sure that at some parts we become unbreakable ;) :D
The quote of Swami Vivekananda says it all… very well-penned Vinay… :-)
Thank you Maniparna :). Vivekananda, one hell of a man :) .. I have loved his quotes on perseverance, so close and so real to life. For once, not just empty ideals as opposed to most modern sadhus and Sanyasis..
Of course,very good solutions, which however, require steely determination!
Thank you Uppal :).. I agree, determination sure takes you on the highway :)
Denial of having problem is the biggest problem. You could only find solution if know that you are having problem. The biggest sign to realize that you are having problem is your sharp reaction when someone points in that direction. I’ve seen people shouting in high pitch that he is not angry. Strange! Isn’t it?
I agree Ravish. I think it becomes the first response cos the first thing that hurts in the process is ego. And it is maybe pretty hard to accept the fact that we failed, esp when we take it pretty personally. But perhaps that is growth, to step out of the scenario, look at it from the big picture and identify or start working towards the solution.
It is really useless to stay in denial for a long time.
He he, that is an irony indeed, I guess I have encountered it too, in fact very often. And people say – I am not denying also.
But, is denying a denial a denial? ;).. Well, maybe food for thought :D
Very inspiring post Vinay. Although it took me 2-3 times to read the blog again and again to understand it, but lately I realized that it was my fault that I was not concentrating on it… :)
Thank you Alok :).. He he, trying to make a few revamps to the site. Have a few new ideas and I really want to work on the HOW TO and the quotes section, maybe start writing something simpler and even closer to real life. I can see a path now and it sure seems like a long long long journey :D :D
Awesome thought…
Thanks Alok :). With this support, I am sure the journey will be even more exciting :)
Good one…
Thank you Praveen :)