Tomorrow will be better: We have heard this so many times in different forms. This is one of the greatest hopes that we live by. Often when someone says tomorrow will be better, I’m tempted to ask how.
Do you remember being in a place where everything goes wrong and you wonder what you should do next. Hope seems to be a distant word and you are almost at the verge of giving up and someone comes along and says –
Everything is going to be OK
and you feel like trashing their face?! I know I have!
Ironically, I have also been that one person who keeps saying Everything will be ok, things are going to fall in place and I can’t help but wonder the hypocrisy of the statement and I wonder if I should believe in it or not.
Then I wonder, what is the best thing to think about when you are low?
1) Life is hopeless, there doesn’t seem to be much of a choice and I feel like crawling into a hole
2) I don’t want to believe in someone telling me things are ok. I want a solution, I want to know how. Who will help me figure it out?
3) I know that things are not going to be ok. They never will be ok. And tomorrow is going to be just another day, I don’t care see how it can be better tomorrow.
Well, whether you see it or not, whether you believe it or not things sure have a way of unfolding. You might have read our post on Optimism/Pessimism/Realism. People seem to say that if you say that tomorrow is going to be better, you are an optimist, if you say no – then you are a pessimist. If you say, you don’t want to jump to a conclusion and want to see what happens, then you are a realist.
Which is the right approach then?
Frankly! Neither.
No one really cares what definition you give to yourself, and after a while neither do you. When I was down, I constantly used to wonder who I was till I realized that I really do not care – All I need is answers to my questions and the way out of my troubles.
I did not want to keep the troubles away. I wanted to face them and be done with it. Honestly I was very tired of seeing challenges and wanted some respite, a real solution than someone coming to me and saying that tomorrow is going to be ok. It never is, it never will be unless you make it.
But here are a few ways you can try to come out of your troubles
What is the problem
As we always say, the first step is the day we stop denying and start accepting what has happened. Objectively look at what has happened, forget what the world thinks about it, forget what people tell you about it, what do you think about it and what would you rather have?
That is the definition of the problem.
What do you want?
I kept telling myself a list of things I do not want in my life but that was never going to be enough. If you want to find a solution in life you need to go towards it, not what is missing, not what you don’t want in life. Your focus determines your actions. It is as simple as that!
What can you do today to get that?
We have already established that you are a go-getter. Someone who doesn’t want to say things are ok even when they are screwed up beyond repair. You don’t want to be the preacher, the answer is pretty simple. You need a solution.
The real answer is in stopping wondering about the worst things that can happen to you and look at what you have now. What you can do right now to take you on course to solution.
It is funny how we think. When something goes wrong, we start imagining the worst outcomes and start preparing for those.
It is like the famous quote;
For once, step out of it. Stop thinking of all the steps which have gone wrong. Stop making a post mortem report out of it.
The future is not in your overly detailed analysis of the problem. The problem was a signal, a sign to say that something has gone wrong. it did not tell anything about you. It did not make a judgement on your capacity. You were the one who did that!
Instead, look at what you want. Keep looking at what you want. You have a journey to discover.
Tomorrow is not going to be better.
Of course, it is not going to be better. Not on its own. You have to make it better, you have to take that responsibility. No matter whose fault it was – it is of the least of the concerns unless you are being called for questioning by the court.
No matter who did it, stop saying that you did not deserve it. I am with you, I understand the pain, but do not say that you did not deserve it.
It doesn’t matter whether you deserved it or not. It has happened, own up to it, even if it is not – take it as your own responsibility, you don’t have much to lose there.
The moment you eliminate that question, you are through to the real one – What do I do about it?
The more you think that someone else was responsible, the farther you get from the solution.
I am unlucky!
We all are either very lucky or very unlucky. But most importantly we know that luck is a very selective term. And it seems that bad luck strikes us more than the good luck.
Truth is, we all want a rosy world. There is nothing wrong in that. It is in fact a very beautiful world out there.
But when things happen, they just happen, end of story.
You can go ahead and create a sad story of it or go out and make a good story happen. It is these moments of decision which will shape your life for better or worse. It is a tough call to make a decision, this post should help you on decision-making.
Tomorrow is going to be better!
If nothing, it sure speaks of hope, a lot of it. The one emotion stronger than love or inspiration is the pure hope. The hope that something will turn in your favour. The hope that keeps you going. The hope that makes you get back on track.
In other words. it is the hope that defines you and the way you look at life. Don’t give up on it for that is one of the most precious things you will ever have :)
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Very Nice Article explaining how exactly a Mind would fear about problems of past and how to change it. Yes. Tomorrow is going to be better. As Buddha said ‘Nothing is permanent. The Situation will change”.
Thank you Kumar. That is a nice quote of Buddha, kinda reminds me of Charlie Chaplin’s quote as well –
“Nothing is permanent in this wretched world, not even your troubles” :)..
I guess somehow we all go through these, maybe in different intensities, but yeah I believe the beauty is in the quest, something fascinating about it and the human nature. Perhaps human nature will always be the most interesting factor :)
Ha ha.. Thanks Ravish. I think it is a fair mix to introduce objectivity in our lives. Although I have maintained most times that I would like to be subjective but with a certain matters, esp like this one, it helps to focus on the how than the mere useless question of why me :).
I would love to check this post out Ravish. Good day mate :)
“Universe is inverted; to see it upright, inverse yourself.” Very well said, I would want to read your article. Thank you for your words Ravish :)
Heartfelt thanks for this post dear :-) I’m facing a problem (a personal one) these days and your post really has helped to change the mood…
I am very happy to know that Maniparna. Everything will be alright very soon. Keep your spirits high :)
Aal is Well, Maniparna, Aal is Well……. :)
Thank you Maniparna, I have always maintained that the day when we are able to relate to real life scenarios on a post, it certainly is a day of success. This really means a lot to us.
As for the challenges, I am sure you will get through them with a great smile. If there is anything at all we can be of help with, please let us know. We would be more than happy to :)..
Thanks to all of you..Vidya, Vinay and Ravish…with such friends around…everything looks so bright :-)
What a lovely blog is it Vidyashree. I am glad that you wrote on this and what best it could be…. Only suggestion which I can give with it “TOMORROW IS GOING TO BE BETTER! ” is it should be Today is going to be better than tomorrow :) Tomorrow will always be better if today is :)
Rightly said, tomorrow will be better if today is. Thank you Alok :)
Thanks Alok :). I guess it is the way we look at it. I actually kept trying these two approaches when I was down
1) Tomorrow is going to be better:
And some days an inner voice would say – you got to be kidding! :D
2) Tomorrow is not going to be better
With this approach I never felt like getting up at all.
Then I feel, it makes more sense to believe that tomorrow is going to be better even if I think it is a lie cos it gives me a purpose to get back on the track and fight :)
Yes buddy, your approaches are absolutely fine, though I do feel that if you start believing that today is going to be fine, on everyday morning, you need not to think about tomorrow :)