My friends hate me for this! I have always discouraged the use of phone when I am talking to someone or in the middle of an interesting conversation of a debate. I mean there is a huge intensity in the talk, a lot of care and affection and suddenly the phone beeps and the other person picks it up inadvertently, not to disrespect me but just curious to see who it is and what they want to say. And I feel like stopping the conversation right there and punching them in the nose! Now why do I feel that? How is it perceived when you are in an intense conversation and the other person picks up the phone?
1) IT FEELS DISRESPECTFUL!
You might be listening to it very intently, perhaps more intently than the person nodding his head, but the moment you pick up the phone, as a talker I would feel that you are disrespecting me. It might be the disinterest on the topic but most people would not like to look beyond themselves. The first impression that comes to mind is that it feels that someone is purposefully avoiding that part of you or that conversation!
2) IT FEELS LIKE THAT YOU ARE NOT INTERESTED
A phone is a distraction, no matter what you say about it, the talker most times perceives it as one. It is ok if the matter is urgent, it is ok if it is a once in a time occurrence. But if it happens regularly, then I am sure you are looking at a tougher response and a difficult question to answer!
3) IT FEELS LIKE THE PHONE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN ME!
Well! We both know that it is not true, we both know that it is just that you are curious and want to check who it is on the other line. But that is not the way I am going to see it, atleast not at that moment. It does seem rude!
4) I KNOW YOU ARE NOT A RUDE PERSON
I know that you are not rude, perhaps you are the sweetest person I know and you might be doing this inadvertently, completely unaware of what is happening. But it still sends a message that you are rude for the conversation
5) WHY DO WE PICK UP THE PHONE?
Well, is it because the phone call is more important? Is it because you have been waiting for this call all day and you haven’t heard from them at all? Is it because it is a very hard thing to catch hold of them on call? Is it because they owe you some money? Well in that case, how about telling it to the person you are conversing with?
6) THE PERSON IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN THE DEVICE.
I know you know that, how about showing the same. Every time you cut the call when you are talking to someone, you are sending a message as to how important you feel the conversation is. It is not that someone is going to hold it against you, but when it is done as a gesture, the way it is received can make a huge difference indeed!
7) IT IS ABOUT PRIORITIES!
We all live in a technical world of late where machines have become a daily part of our lives and they have made it much easier too. But sometimes we got to know when to shut them down. Sometimes we got to know that a little human contact is more important than the phone ringing. Let it miss a buzz, you can always call back, you might not catch up with this person again, atleast not in the same mood. Do yourself a favour and think a bit when the phone rings. It is just about the message you want to send.
Well in a case you want to end a conversation sooner or send a clear message that you are not interested, well then nothing better than the phone :).. I have done it :P :D
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Thank you Areeb, I did check the website, it doesn’t seem to have many posts, nor does it seem to have an Alexa rank. I would like to reach out to more people, but I don’t really see how I can do it through this site though. Thank you for the inputs, maybe I am missing something. Kindly do lemme know :)
Thank you Maniparna :).
I agree, if the call is important, then the person has every reason to move, infact if the situation is made understood, I would be more than happy to help if needed. The only time it bugs me is when there is a misappropriation of time for the same.. A 1-2 min call when important is a serious yes.. However a text followed by a few more which goes beyond 5 mins is quite annoying indeed! :)
The worst thing that could happen ever to a woman would be showering your attention on a dumb not so smartphone rather than the beauty in front of you :P I take it is an offence an insult if someone even checks their messages or emails when they are sharing my company!
He he he he :D .. Well I guess women have that one advantage, not many would want to stare at me :D :P.
He he he.. I guess I am not alone then ;).. True I think it is very annoying to do that sometimes, esp when you are putting so much energy and effort into a conversation..
Now this is something in which I will disagree with you Vinay slightly, I am not against someone attending a mobile call in between a conversation, it might be possible that he or she has some important call, but then he should never show disrespect to you and should not unnecessary talk to the person who is calling you. He/she can simply ask the person that can I call you later, and I don’t think it will have any impact :)
BTW nice post…. Liked your concept of this phone.
Thank you Alok, thought we would start writing about the simpler stuff as well, the untold laws if I may call them.
To a certain extent the exception applies to the situation you mentioned Alok, wouldn’t mind someone picking up the call for a quick 10-20s talk. However the texting is something I strongly oppose to. I myself have done it in a couple of meetings and I realized how bad it was and how poorly it reflected.
But true that, every rule has an exception :)
Completely agree. I find it rude even when people text or whats app on their phones while talking.. going out for dinner is as good as eating alone because most of the time everyone at the table is busy with their phones :(
Thank you Seeta :). I somehow find the texting rude compared to the calls. Texting is such an easy escape sometimes..
It is unfortunate that the phones have become so common place. Even I do it when I have dinner at home, instead of conversing with parents, I am happily chatting over the phone which literally is not doing any good anywhere..
Came across this article today and remembered your post.. http://www.quickmeme.com/p/3vy90w
Wow! That is a fantastic article. I was thinking it might be in the lines of service. But this is really astonishing!
Man o Man!! Seriously quite a revelation!
Can’t agree more Vinay! It is time people realise priorities. But get a lot of flak for always keeping my phone on silent without notifications! Phone etiquette when with someone is quite important.
Thank you Shweta :). Amen to that! Priorities is something which I am usually quite picky about. It sorta makes me feel that it is nice when others do it too. Those simple etiquette which can make such a huge difference in our lives..