“Oooh I really wanted to do that, I had so much of capacities and I could have done it so easily but alas…. “ Ever heard of these statements? I remember giving these reasons to myself constantly trying to rationalize as to what all things I could do.
Surprisingly enough all these reasons were extremely logical, highly justified and very well thought out as well. And all of them are excellent ways to keep people off our back. Well I did succeed in doing that, but…
Well I guess we are all very smart people and rationalizations are easy to come by. I have often wondered why I have a very solid set of reasons as to why I did not do something and it never was ‘I couldn’t’ – it always was – ‘I could but I didn’t’ and that would have a list of reasons. And I wonder now – ‘what good came out of these reasons?’.
Of course people bought these ideas, thoughts and even expressed sympathy for the challenges and for a moment I felt good cos I gratified my own ego in the process. Now that I look back at these and question myself- ‘What good came of this?’. All I have is a set of reasons and nothing else. The could haves and the would haves sounded really good, helped me feel better about myself but that was all they did, they never led me anywhere. The only thing that ever worked was shrugging these reasons off and keeping them aside.
The only thing I realize which made sense was looking at the outcome and questioning myself whether I liked it and if the answer was YES, I guess that answered everything needed. For no matter how many reasons we come up with as to why we did not do something, we still DID NOT DO IT – no matter what the reasons are. In the end no one really cares for reasons, not even us. Others might be satisfied with the rationalizations but would we be?
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ha ha..been there done that :) is what came to my mind when i read your post. for a simple thing as participating in a competition, for reasons like self doubt, one lets go of the opportunity and then on seeing who won..we think, I could have done that!!! always happens :) all that said, I sure hope not to miss opportunities in the future..
No point saying, “I could have …,” or “I would have …,” or “I should have …,” or “I had intended to …,” etc.
If you want to do something and can do it, do it. If you don’t want to do something, or if you want to but can’t do it, don’t do it.
True my friend! I guess it is always either a YES or a NO. There is no middle path atleast in this, most times I think a maybe is a softer word to say no and perhaps that is why it is used so often! :)..
Rightly stated – Do it or Don’t do it, not many people are interested in the reasons!
It’s really that..only what we have done …count….and there’s no point strutting on the issue that I had the capacity and intention of doing a certain thing but still it had been left undone
True Maniparna, better than that is I think to just acknowledge that we didn't do something and move on from it. So much more healthier than lamenting about a few things..Vinay, on a serious note, I just want to let you know about the story of my marriage, there was a time when exactly the same situation was in front of me, I wanted to marry my girlfriend, but I can’t, and then that time I was not that strong too. I was not suppose to take strong decisions, but ideally I thought about the same thing that why should I regret after a few years? What is the point in thinking about ‘I could but I didn’t’ later?
And hence I decided to marry the lady love of my life, and traveled all along 1300 KM on a car, we covered that distance in 26 hours of almost non-stop journey and marry her. I don’t have any regret about it now, and will never do so.
Now we had a cute little angel too.
“Oooh I really wanted to do that, I had so much of capacities and I could have done it so easily but alas…. “ This is exactly what I don’t even want to hear from anyone known, and this is the main reason why I started my blog http://www.inewsindia.com too.
It's really a beautiful story :). Sounds like a very lucky lady. That's so commendable Alok. I think the worst thing in Life is looking back and saying if only. Although we might have a few things to look back and say if only, it surely cannot be the big things for what we say that. It takes some mettle to do what you did and its definitely very impressive. Takes real gut to do that something we feel very strong for.That's a lovely starting point for your blog and I see it has grown wide and deep before that. My hi to your daughter :). Would really like to read the full version of the story if you have posted it up
I intend to do it, but…. http://t.co/dgWT2hRool