Socially Awkward:
Have you ever had this feeling – the feeling that you don’t belong somewhere and people seem to be in a completely different pace than you are and you feel like getting away from there as soon as possible. Have you ever constantly felt that you are being singled out and forced at feeling socially awkward and there doesn’t seem to be anything happening around to which you can remotely relate to?
Well, here are 9 tips to make you feel less socially awkward and to gain a sense of confidence required to get you past through the annoying feeling
The Basics
Well, we talk about this at every single post we make on communication skills – the body language, the smile, our gait, the eye contacts and so on. And by now, I am sure you would have seen so many websites talking about the need and how you must do the body language aspect. If not, we would like to recommend the wikihow on How to appear more approachable or the forbes post on the 6 body language mistakes which you don’t know you are doing which are quite well done.
Stop Being Too Conscious
Don’t be too concerned about what you are wearing. Don’t be worried about what mistake you are going to make or don’t be too bothered about how you are going to screw this up. Unless you play the drunk fool, you are really alright. No one is going to rag on you unless you do it on yourself.
Focus On What You Are And Not What You Aren’t
Now, this is pretty important. If we are driving focusing towards a wall, we can be sure as hell that we are going to hit that. Instead focus on where you want to go. The same adage applies here as well. We can’t try and focus on being socially acceptable if we keep thinking how socially awkward we are or what we are not good at. We need to play to our strengths and need to look out for opportunities for the same.
The Common Factor
The most important thing is to identify what you have in common with the topic of discussion. No matter what social interaction you are in, you will know something about the topic to which you can contribute. You might not need to know everything about it, poeple rarely do, but it is important that you participate. The common topic is simply a reason for you to interact and feel at ease at the gathering. The rest of the magic will happen with time as you open up with people and as people open up with you.
The Friendly Faces.
Now this is quite important to feel less socially awkward. Find out a few friendly faces and if you are finding it really difficult, these can really be your saviours. We are not suggesting clinging on to them, but they sure can make your life comfortable and they will give you the feeling of being accepted and also fairly comfortable in a crowd of people where you don’t seem to know many.
Make Them Smile
No one ever is going to complain that you made them laugh. No one is going to complain that they had a good time with you and no one is going to complain about a good sense of humour especially when it is tastefully done. We did make a list of 13 things you should not do when you are trying to be funny which might save you a bit of trouble in the process.
Find Something Positive
This is a pretty important step. Everyone loves to hear a compliment as long as it is heartfelt and as long as it is real and appropriate. You will be able to find something to appreciate in the people you meet – maybe the hairstyle or the way they dress, the way of talking, the intonation – come on, there is so much to appreciate and there are so many wonderful things out there. And people would certainly love to be with someone who talks about them, especially when someone talks good about them :)
Listen
Although we do talk about communication skills, we can’t over emphasise the importance of listening too. It forms an intricate and an irreplaceable part of your social skills or in this case, prevention of you from being socially awkward. And again, no one is going to complain that you were a good listener right?
Everything Takes Practice – Feeling Socially Awkward Too
Well! There is nothing called free lunch. Nothing is going to magically transform in a single go in our favour. Lots of books and even articles seem to say so, but we do know that accepting something new into our lives is going to take its own time and we need to be welcoming of that. The more we push ourselves, the more we push ourselves out. Instead focus on getting there, step by step and we might actually be much closer than we think.
These were our 9 tips and techniques to stop feeling socially awkward and we are going to come up with a slideshow on the same for your further references.
Till then, gel in :). And of course stay tuned in for more updates :)
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Very informative post Vinay. The above are some of the causes for a person to feel awkward in a social gathering and sometimes it is also due to a person’s Ego (he/she considers the gathering below their class). It could also turn awkward when expectations are not met.
The closing tip is very strong, I like it and I agree that we do not just have to know these things, we have to practice them, I am a shy person and I think it hinders me towards success. So, even if it is hard, I have to overcome feeling awkward in dealing with other people.
I recently was feeling very socially awkward at a night group trek… I was not happy alone and could feel the isolation even the dog ignored me… so I was ignored in the crowd… then I just went ahead trekking and that had a combined vibe, people were cooperative, they were not making me feel odd and I caught on few people who were going solo like me. Ofcourse when your with nature, you are all complete and don’t need anything else… it helps if you strike a conversation one on one basis, afterall most of the adults are nice guys, willing to listen to you… also gell in just stay near and appear comfortable, at first it is hard later you get into the group and they notice you… always be fun, smart and feel confident… it so happened that being single a guy too hit on me(: … so it is important to be confident and be near a group rather than isolated… about the young guy, he is still after me asking me out on treks, I had to tell him I am a trekker not a romantic, even if I was alone I did not need anyone, I could manage and yeah he should well not trouble me… nice guy he not flirting with me often, I guess just playfull… so yes it just takes guts… not to worry. anyway I myself needed these tips… I think people ignored me because well I was not appearing like I needed attention(: … maybe I appeared at ease(:
Boy it’s good to be back here, it was a lot trip! These tips are gonna help me a lot as I am working on my social anxiety these days. As always, keep up the good work Vinay! :)
Very useful tips indeed and I wonder how much you’ve studied the behaviour of social animals like us for writing in this way! Kudos to you… :-)
How many times I have felt like a fish out of water…claustrophobic and all at sea, ready to make a quick exit and yet unable to do so. Even the somewhat familiar faces seem strangers at that moment..hope your tips will work out fine for me the next time around. Great post !