It’s awful when people talk behind your back. These things not only hurt us when we hear the gossip but also we have to work doubly hard to defy this information. But it’s a mighty task to face these gossips and set things right. So, we open this question – what to do when people talk behind your back? Do we fight or ignore?
What to do People Talk Behind Your Back?
I’m always baffled by the question – why people do what they do. When it comes to sharing gossip or talking behind someone’s back – what motivates them to do that? The most common reasons I can come up with are jealousy, hatred, fun etc. Unfortunately, sometimes people spread gossip without even pausing to identify that it might hurt someone else. And when this gossip spreads like wildfire, it can create a disastrous effect on the person facing it. Here aer a few things to think about when people talk behind your back.
Why people talk behind your back?
Great people discuss ideas, small people discuss others. I love this quote and it may give us an indication of why people gossip in the first place. Whenever I’ve heard gossip about me, I keep wondering – why do people hate me so much? But then another pause tells me that this gossip is less about me and more about who they are as people.
There can be plenty of reasons and this could easily be a bottomless pit. Find the answer that satisfies you the most and move on.
Are they your friends?
Real friends oppose and confront you instead of talking behind your back. Gossip and rumours achieve nothing. They hurt everyone involved in the process. If someone is gossiping about you, clearly they are not good friend material. The best thing you can do about it is either confront or ignore it. At least they must know that you’re aware of their part in spreading and talking behind your back.
Explain your situation to these people – confront and oppose them:
Let them know how it made you feel as patiently as you can. It’s very natural to get emotional when you’re talking with somebody so close to you about something that’s so personal. Prepare, if necessary rehearse what you are going to say to them before you go and talk to them.
Make them a part of the solution:
People make mistakes and if this is an honest one, allow them to repair. Work with them to see how they can help you. People talk behind your back sometimes without being aware of its consequences. Once they know, at least the decent ones want to make things right. See if you can give them this opportunity.
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Thank you Lata. This post is the brainchild of Preethi Aghalayam who has done an amazing post out of this :)
Thank you Saurabh. Welcome to Inspire99 :)
That’s a very mature attitude to look at life Indrani. Time I believe is the most precious thing in the world and the more care we take about it, the better we become at handling things in life :)
Very thoughtful.Laughing it off and ignoring is the hardest thing when people talk behind our backs :/. I love it how you simplify and explain everything step by step , i like the part where you explained why we should tolerate and understand the reason for the talking done by the people we care for :) Look forward for more such thoughtful posts and I am definitely going to read all the blogposts I missed reading on inspire99 during my 15 day no social media interaction period :D
Thank you Najm. Great to see you here. I was missing your thoughts on the posts :). Thanks so much, I have started liking to write posts in this format and it somehow seems to find the right chord with our friends here at inspire99 and also the motto we try to believe in – simplifying thoughts :).
I think those are the only ones who matter, the ones we care about cos that is the one place where we have to be as delicate as possible. It is very easy to tell a stranger if they were rude or wrong, but when it comes to the close ones, nothing ever seems easy.
He he welcome back on the social media. It will be lovely to connect more with you :)
P.s- how will you know it when they’re speaking behind ur back? Just joking. Nice post. Worth putting into practice
Thank you Sweety :).. He he, well words have a way of traveling around. The grape wine is way stronger than the ears at the back of our heads. Some way or the other we get to know – or else there wouldn’t be any gossips at all :)
True. So the real purpose of gossip is speaking softly enough so that it reaches the right ears by the longest possible route.
Nice post. 6th is the best thing to do.
Thank you Arun :).. I guess each one of these ideas take the stage in their own ways. The last one certainly is the climax and I guess it gives the most effect :)
Nice post Vinay. You cannot stop others from talking behind your back. Take it as an indicator of your success. No matter what you do, some people enjoy doing that. That is a spice of life.
Thank you Abhijit :). True that, people will always be and do what they want to do. Sometimes the more they know we are irritated, the more they do it – maybe it does give a sense of pleasure in doing something which is forbidden! The spice of life sure gets annoying sometimes though :)
Thought provoking…We have to let it go off our head but not before learning from it (whether or not we were at mistake)
Thank you Alok :). True mate, I guess that is beauty of experiences in life – they make us introspect and wonder how we can change to strengthen ourselves and lead us to a better place. Or else, there is no use of such an experience right?!
Absolutely!
Nice post Vinay. I like the last one in particular, ‘Is is Worth it?’ Exactly, we gotta think before we react. Afterall it is our own energy we gonna lose. Good one!
Thank you Gowthama. Good to see you again :). I guess it all comes to that question right – the productivity of an action. Esp when we are investing so much of energy in talking to someone, we need to understand whether they will receive it or not. I would rather sit home and watch TV instead of trying to convince someone who is not even ready to listen..