I Don’t Fit In!
I think no matter where we are, we all have experienced this at some stage of our lives – the feeling of not fitting in. The feeling where we think that no one around understands us and we wonder whether we should express ourselves or whether it is a better solution to keep to ourselves and avoid these people altogether.
As much as we would like to be away from all of it and lead a solitary lifestyle, we all do belong to the society and are dependent on it to a certain extent. So, how do we go about doing it? What are the factors that hold us back and how do we win over them to realise the goals we deserve and the societal standing we desire?
Here are 5 simple tips to help you fit in when you feel like you don’t
If You Don’t Fit In: Understand the Game
I think most times, we feel a little left out because we don’t completely understand what is going on out there. Try and understand what people usually do in these places, talk to someone who you think is reliable and trustworthy and get a perspective of what they think the rules of the game are.
If You Don’t Fit In: The Rules You Want to play by
Once you identify the rules, you need to understand what you would like to play by. There is no point in playing by everything and trying to imitate everyone you see. You gotta identify your niche, your strengths – for some it is story telling, for some it is humour and for some it is the listening skills. You need to identify how you would like to fit in and work towards it.
If You Don’t Fit in: Setting For the win.
I know it is an overused cliche when people say you have to prepare. Unfortunately even we are going to say that. In order to fit in, it does help to know a few things we are going to talk about, it has to be a set of common experiences we can talk about and share some stories about it. Keep yourselves prepared with a few jokes or stories or learnings you would like to share. Test them with your peers and friends in a safe environment.
If You Don’t Fit In: The Confidence Factor
It also has something to do with confidence when we feel like we don’t fit in and are afraid to participate completely. It is a different thing when we think people around us are fools and we can leave with our head held high, but if you want to be a part of the crowd, we have to play by its rules.
And that means developing confidence. Sure, our preparation gives us confidence to approach and so does practice. We also need a constant inner voice that we can really do and prepare ourselves for that. And if we put our mind and heart to it, there is no way we can lose out in the long run.
If You Don’t Fit In: The Short Term Vs Long Term Approach
This is a tricky one. We are obviously going to get some feedback in the first few approaches. It is like learning any new skill. We are bound to face some challenges and not many of them will work in our favour. But we need to strip ourselves off all that shame because the long term goal matters a lot and can help you focus on what you are doing it for. That eases taking the short term feedback and turning it into something more useful.
These were our top 5 tips on trying to fit in. Please do share with us your secrets and thoughts as to how better we can approach the process of fitting in – our readers will benefit a lot from your experiences.
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it rarely happens to me…but this is definitely a very useful post :)
You’re a skilled one Shweta :). For me it has always been a conscious effort and I need to keep at it to get comfortably there.
Low self esteem is the biggest barrier of letting you feel you don’t fit in! Overcoming it will automatically build self-esteem and the confidence of having conquered. A well projected article Vinay. :)
True Maitreni, I personally have suffered quite a deal because of it. Not that I lacked any abilities, just that I felt that I had to be so good that I felt short each time – in other words low self esteem at times. I think at some level we need to start practicing self acceptance and even learn to toot our own horn a bit. I think it is an incredibly proud set of things we all have done in life and it is beautiful to own up to them.
One other choice if you don’t fit in and are uncomfortable because of it, seek your own flock:)
Oh yes, that is the most helpful one, it can bring out the best in us and we can really enjoy being amongst our own where there is little fear of being judged and more comfort of enjoying the experience.
very very useful article for all readers.thanks for sharing this
Thank you Shiv Kumar :)
very well organized and helpful tips.self-analysis is very important in every phase of life.
Thank you Jyotirmoy, I have often been the black sheep in many of these occasions and I kinda had to learn the act of survival over there. So these are mostly a compilation of those thoughts and how they have helped me.
Great tips indeed :)
Thank you Purba..