Comments on: Why does a defeat hurt so much?

By: Vinay Nagaraju

Vinay Nagaraju — Tue, 10 May 2016 10:21:40 +0000

It is a good paradoxical thought to have Deepali. I think the sport somehow brings out the competitive spirit in us, maybe like a natural gut feeling, it makes us push our boundaries and test ourselves constantly. So I would say, we should always play to win.

Having said that, we should not leave the grace when we lose something. I think losing too brings out a beautiful aspect in us and it is extremely important to control how we feel about it and what we can learn and implement from it. I guess the purpose of learning comes after the contest maybe, but the purpose of winning pushes us in the short term.

Maybe as an answer to this thought provoking question, in the short run, we should play for the win but in the long run, we should treat it as a path towards learning. Hope that makes sense. Would love to discuss more on your thoughts about this.

By: Vinay Nagaraju

Vinay Nagaraju — Tue, 10 May 2016 10:17:54 +0000

In reply to Gowthama.

Thank you Gowthama, this indeed is a huge compliment. Very happy to know that these posts are able to connect to your thoughts and experiences – always something I aspire for. I think the last part of your comment is a very beautiful one – the positive aspect of the defeat. Maybe it takes time for us to connect the dots and see how advantageous a defeat can be. Of course we cannot see that when it hurts. The moment we go beyond it, life seems so much different and better and that is an absolute fancy indeed :)

By: Deepali Joshi Adhikary

Deepali Joshi Adhikary — Tue, 10 May 2016 04:56:07 +0000

I have been thinking about a related thing since last few days and then I read this post. I am thinking..when we do something with a purpose of learning (only), does it kill the competitive spirit. If I have trained myself to accept defeats garcefully, will I try honestly to win. I cant seem to find a fair justification here. What are your thoughts about this?

By: Gowthama

Gowthama — Mon, 09 May 2016 14:12:18 +0000

Whenever I read your post, I feel like we both are alike not just in thoughts but also in deeds. I experienced the same thing during my college days. It was a selection tournament. I lost the match in the similar fashion. I punched the opponent and was just one point away from victory whereas he was seven points away. Yet I lost, I gave away seven straight points. I was absolutely shattered at that point that I didn’t make into the team. But later I realized that only because of that loss, I entered into athletics team and shined. Its all about acceptance and moving on. We shouldn’t doubt out strengths.

Thanks for bringing back my memories Vinay.