Comments on: Open Debate : 5 Reasons For Early Or Late Marriage In Life – Life, Relationships, Arranged Marriages In India

By: Maria

Maria — Mon, 27 Jul 2015 11:26:12 +0000

Hey… this is a very sensible article. And well… I guess it is mostly loneliness and insecurity driving us to get married after a certain point in lives… anyway… yes we all have fears and those who are old in a sense already in their late twenties or early 30’s do feel fight on the how much to know and less choosy on the patners… yes parents still have requirements, expectations more than the guys or the boys… anyway I do very much agree that marriage is a matter of choice and things can be less tight… if you want to marry, you should also have a person you can get along and not get bored with or someone who can bond really well with you to walk with you the rest of the life and someone really worth sharing everything, body, soul etc etc… but I guess many of us end up in compromise boring marriages and relationships…sad… early marriage is fine too if you find the right person, you can cooly walk life delaying the decision to have kids, spend more alone time together…but early marrige like before 23 or 24 is a bit early only(:… anyway… yeah we all have lot of fears and to be free is to get rid of them… please don’t marry unless you are sure of a person…and please don’t reject anyone without knowing them because of their looks and something…give time and in time as you go with person you will know something if not everything… but yeah opting not to marry is a good thing as well…shows you are confident of yourself…just be confident and independent weather marriaging or not… but too much family and parents make things quite tight… but thats the way it is… anyway nice article…

By: Vinay Nagaraju

Vinay Nagaraju — Thu, 07 May 2015 03:21:00 +0000

In reply to Lancelot Quadras. Thank you Lance, it is indeed a challenging place to be in when fear engulfs our thoughts. I mean theoretically and logically it seems fairly straight forward to come out of it, but when going through it, I think the fear has its own way of manifesting itself into many dimensions.. fears indeed!!

By: Lancelot Quadras

Lancelot Quadras — Wed, 06 May 2015 10:10:00 +0000

Yes, you’ve got it bang on target… Many have this general fear….
And you are right to say, fear drives us crazy. We think of conclusions which haven’t taken place. It’s a tough maze created in the mind, so bad that to come out of it is a tough task.

By: Vinay Nagaraju

Vinay Nagaraju — Wed, 06 May 2015 07:18:00 +0000

In reply to Nikhil. Nikhil this is a really very interesting perspective. I wasn't aware of the lessons being taught in German schools. Some Indians do marry early. But as compared to the west, I guess most Indians get married before they are 30. As for the high expectations or being ambitious in life, I am not too sure cos many Indians have gone on to do that inspite of being in a family or a relationship if that is what the German schools are getting at.. He he, the reason for limiting the topic to an Indian perspective is just that many Indians are still afraid to take that call of a late marriage, including me. I mean most of these fears might be irrational and some illogical,but they are still there. As for the west, late marriages are quite common and they are not even viewed with a surprise, but here a guy of 30 is considered old and a poor girl of 25 is considered old and the entire society frets and unites to marry them off to some poor stranger. That makes me a bit confused about the whole idea of it..

By: Vinay Nagaraju

Vinay Nagaraju — Wed, 06 May 2015 07:14:00 +0000

In reply to Maniparna Sengupta Majumder. He he he :D :D .. Thank you Maniparna. For long I have been wanting to entertain debates on this forum and finally took that step to make it happen. I am loving the views of people here and the variety of lines of thought which I had naturally missed when I was making this post. . Thank you Maniparna, I completely side your views here. Marriage is a personal choice and everything else builds around those two people who want to share a life together. Same here too, I feel the other reasons are way out of my reach to comprehend and understand to add value to ..

By: Vinay Nagaraju

Vinay Nagaraju — Wed, 06 May 2015 07:12:00 +0000

In reply to Raghunath Gb. A very interesting perspective Raghunath.. I agree with the thought in an uber rich society. Maybe that is why it is so common in the west as well. I guess in this state we are still grappling to solve the issues either societal or personal and sometimes even financial as well. But I can't help but wonder the situation of the two people who are actually getting married, about their personal space in life, their aspirations and dreams and how they want to lead a life. And at a time of marriage what the priorities should be., It seems like a pretty open question to me. I do see that an arranged marriage comes with a few strings attached to it, at the same time it makes me wonder about the personal life style.(Maybe I do it cos I am looking at it too individualistically.. Not really sure how right that is.. )

By: Raghunath Gb

Raghunath Gb — Mon, 04 May 2015 04:47:00 +0000

Marriage is still marriage between two families to most of the indians. Irrespective of nuclear family or joint family,certain castes tend to be bonded very strong. for example, Among Brahmins family bonding(extended family ) is generally weak whereas Vokkaligas or reddys(of karnataka) tend to be highly bonded to gether socially. In my example,I had to take a word of my aunts before fiunalising the marriage. Decision in these caste tend to be a family based descions than individualistic in nature most of the times. So this still depends from caste to caste and Arrange marriage is still a norm in india(Love marriages although increasing is still a miniority,until and unless you live in a uber rich society).

By: Maniparna Sengupta Majumder

Maniparna Sengupta Majumder — Sun, 03 May 2015 17:45:00 +0000

Oh! This is really a great topic to raise a heated debate. :-P

I agree that there is a parental as well as societal pressure. It might sound cliched, but still I think that the urge to share the life with someone, to feel the presence of a loving one in life- should be the main reasons behind an ideal marriage. There are ample exceptions where the reasons are something else, but that is not germane to my discussion.

You have put all the probable reasons together nicely Vinay… :-)

By: Nikhil

Nikhil — Sun, 03 May 2015 10:30:00 +0000

There is ten page introduction about India in Germany’s schools (for class 10 level students),in which they made an observation(along with some other good observations) that Indians want to get marry early,settle down and do their routine. No ambitions,no high expectations in life or from career,satisfied in routine job!!

What it means that,marriage is on highest priority(compared to life’s other achievements for e.g. getting nobel!)of an average Indian,which is certainly true and I am agree with it.

After all marriage along with other very few moments brings a kind of joy in their (common,average indian)family,so getting marry early tops the life’s to do list.and one more thinking is that marriages happens once in life,will bring “laxmi” (through dowry) so why wait so long that means knowingly ignoring true meaning of marriage.

Many of my friends want to marry for the sake of sex,some want to follow society’s tradition but very few (rare)wants a partner which will act as a constant source of motivation, inspiration throughout next 50-60yeasrs if not “saath janam”☺

In the end,if you are financially settled,sure about getting a supportive partner for next 50year you can opt for early marriage if not then wait

On a lighter note, why you limited your options to India only??@24