Man is the creator of circumstances not that circumstances creates a man.

HI Lavanya, our apologies for the delay in responding to this comment. That is indeed very harsh and might I say very immature of the person spreading this rumor/gossip about you. I can certainly understand how challenging this would be in a college set up. People are usually hungry for a gossip and they tend to blow it out of proportion. In this situation, perhaps the best thing to do is talk to your family

– Tell them what this person is threatening
– Explain the photograph to your family. In other words don’t even give him the chance to surprise you. If they already know what it is about, then he really has nothing against you to blackmail
– I think you will need to speak to your college dean/supervisor about this situation. It is impacting your study and I cannot see why a professor would not take this seriously.

Did you actually end up giving him the money? I think he has blown this all out of proportion and there is no reason why he cannot be taken to police. If you have proof of the blackmail, we would certainly advice you to take a legal course of action. He is simply bullying you in this scenario and it spreads beyond blackmail.

I am so sorry to hear that Prash. The society sure is a B word sometimes. It was the right thing for you to go an talk to that guy. I wonder why he started spreading that rumor though, was it just cos his ego was hurt or was he trying to teach some bullshit lesson or some other twisted reason like that?
I sometimes don;t really understand how these gossips stem, they are so baseless and they so easily borderline on hurting the emotions of people. It is quite a pickle mate. Leaving the area will certainly solve the problem for the time being. I am just trying to think out loud if there is an alternate solution to these horrible gossip mongers.

My two cents
1) Maybe talk to him and check with him why he thinks so or why he says so – just a heart to heart conversation. Maybe make him realize how it is affecting your lifestyle and how much you would appreciate him understanding your situation. I know that you have every right to be furious, but that would atleast give him the ego massage he needs and he might actually comply with you and may even stand for you if that works
2) Ignore – Now this is very hard, esp when the society joins in the source of the gossip. It may not be the best idea in this scenario. But maybe treating it wilh a bit of humor might help, making light of it and you joining the laughter? Sometimes people stop when they realize it is not making an impact on you.
3) The simplest thing might seem to be seen with a girl all the time. Now that might defeat the purpose of actually being in a relationship but in this situation, it might give the temporary relief. But again I would suggest you not to do this cos for them, it just fuels in new ideas. The best thing to do sometimes is to not react at all and let that idiotic behavior pass. As long as you don’t give your self respect into the hands of the stupid society, it should be alright..

Hope atleast one of these help, do lemme know your thoughts mate :)

Gee that’s really sad to hear Vidhya. Perhaps I will never understand why people are so hell bent on imposing their views of the world, society and culture over everyone around them. I mean each one of us has a private life of our own and we would like to live that way. Granted that there will be rumors and gossips about us, but they all do have a limit. As long as they don’t hurt someone – they are ok. But the moment they start hurting someone, it is time to back off and maybe also realize that when it comes to sensitive issues, it is not really cool to gossip or spread rumors. There are a lot of emotions attached behind. I wish there was a way to make them a little more sensitive..

True Ravish, when it comes to absolutism and some rumors, we can steer away from them, But when you realize that there is something which is constantly acting as an impediment to you and you know that an action on that front would solve the problem for you, then perhaps it is something which needs an action.

As for the choice of being offended or being complimented, I am still a very normal man who is most likely to be affected by them. But you are absolutely right, it is all about the matter of choice and if the choice is to make the best of it, then nothing like that :)

Perhaps Ravish, I agree that our perspectives will make the most difference. There will be some of those rumors which one can cast off, not even listen to them and move ahead with our lives. But there will be some other which actually undermine the very thing you do, for those we need to give an answer. It might not be a straight forward one, but sometimes it can be a very subtle one and can be shown through our actions. As for the rumor, it is an independent entity, but like you said if we are in control and find a way to use that rumor for the best of our advantage, then life can be quite a blessing :)

What kind of order, Vinay? If we are in order within then no rumor can tarnish us. We have only control on ourselves and our attitudes. The only thing matters is our perspectives.

Yes, we get affected but only when we allow those to affect us. Suppose If I were to insult you, you’d most likely make the choice of being offended. And if I were to pay you a complement, you’d most likely make the choice of being pleased or flattered. But think about it: it’s still a choice.