Indian Men Are Creepy With Women

Indian Men Are Creepy With Women

Much has been said about Indian men being creepy. The image is as though that any Indian man you come across will stare at you, tease you, and even abuse you. Bottom line, the image is pretty simple, if you are a woman, stay away from an Indian male as much as possible, you can steer clear of a lot of negative comments about you.

Not all Men are good. Not at all

I am not going to argue saying that all men are good and they should be treated with ultimate respect, nor am I going to say that women should not be careful about men. I remember an incident when I was in a bus and there were just two seats. I was sitting behind this young girl somewhere in her mid 20’s and another man boards the bus. He finds that there are only 2 seats – one next to the girl and the other in the last row. And if you have travelled in the last seat of a bus, it is never an enjoyable experience, esp when you are thinking of a journey of 3 Hrs. So this man politely comes up to the girl, requests her and asks permission whether he could sit next to her.

But Not all men are bad… Not at all

The girl snaps and him and says NO and not just that she starts a lecture on why men would want to sit next to a pretty girl. I am not sure what others felt but I was thinking if I was discovering the pretty side or the petty side. And this man was a very simple one, kinda a simpleton who meekly agreed and went back to the back of the bus only to suffer the journey for another two hours. And I wondered what was fair and what was not.

I do sympathize at the plight of the girls

At one end, I want to sympathize with the girl and her plight if at all she has experienced an uncomfortable situation in the past. Or maybe she has heard some creepy stories about creepy men who sit next to you to try and take advantage of you. Or maybe she was just scared and reacted accordingly. But honestly this man looked nothing close to scary, if anything I felt that he was a poor chap trying to find a good seat.

But is every man bad?

And then I wonder why all of these happen? I agree that there have been some annoying cases of men acting weird with women, some creepy too. But how fair is it to treat them all in the same manner? How fair is it to treat every man you come across as a stalker or a person who is hitting on you. Trust me, even guys have a lot of other things to do than hitting on every girl who they come across.

And the media…

Added to this, the media has been excellent in publishing a one sided view of all the so called shallow minded Indians. And to top this, there have been people who have made elaborate debates with me saying how good it is in the west and why they should stay away from India. For such people, I finally have an answer. This is the plight of a young woman in a day in New York, a day by walk.

How do the Indian males compare to this?

So… My only request is that, I understand and agree that women have to go through a lot, but that doesn’t mean all Indian men are creepy. Just cos a few people are bad, it doesn’t mean that the entire humanity is. We got to trust in something and to just single out Indian men as creepy is just too unfair!

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12 Responses to "Indian Men Are Creepy With Women"

  1. super debatable topic. Who is saying all men are bad….but the experiences that women have to go through from childhood till oldage even if conducted by a few bad men is sufficient enough to form an image. Its like if 70% of the city is dirty and the 3 gardens in the same city are clean you can’t call it clean can you?

    1. Thank you Shweta :). I agree, I do sympathize to the unfair treatment women that has been meted out from generations together and I do understand that it is a very debatable topic. I have often found it very difficult to understand to look at a real solution for all these. There have been people who have been staunch followers hailing the west and I guess this video is an answer for most of them. As for the issues faced by women, somehow this issue has registered in my mind. I do agree that everyone has to be vocal about their rights but at the same time I really felt bad for that poor man who had to go through that embarrassment. None of this will ever be a compensation for what has happened to women.

      But what is a compensation for what happened to that man?! I honestly do not have an answer to that..

  2. I echo your words in many other forums Vinay…and faced severe rebuttal from so called feminists…who actually don’t actually have no idea what feminism is! Thank you Vinay for coming up with this issue..I wish to write on the same issue some day…

    1. Thank you Maniparna. I have a tough time with both wings – some feminists and some fundamnetalists like the UP police thoughts on rape. I don’t understand the idea of extremism on it and trying to label what is happening around us. I mean it is just people in the end – good and bad. It doesn’t matter whether it is a male or female cos the issues faced by both of them are very different and very individual.

      I would love to see that article from you Maniparna. Please do share a link here when you do, I am sure our readers will love your view point 🙂

  3. Agree with Shweta Dave. Women have to go through a lot. And men have no idea about it…No man will ever understand exactly how it feels when someone touches you indecently (women are often victim of this kind of harassment in crowded public transport) …or staring at your specific body parts, leave alone doing anything more than that. A bad experience in tender age can affect one’s personality significantly. Yet… I have hardly heard women saying “all men are bad” … and about the video … it only reinforces the very nature of those men who forget that women are human beings, too… and this kind of men are everywhere. some do it openly and some take advantage of the crowd. And I firmly believe that appearance doesn’t say everything about a person.

    And if you want to highlight the fact that media is exaggerating and projecting as all Indian men are creepy let me tell you women (both Indian and foreigners) are intelligent enough to understand that all Indian men cannot be “creepy”, it’s simply not possible in a society.

    1. Thank you Moon Roy. I agree, I can never fathom the depth of experiences that a woman goes through. I have found it very hard to even imagine the plight of a situation like that but I realize I am too far from empathizing that and I only can sympathize.

      I agree that appearance doesn’t say everything about that man and I also reiterate the fact that he shouldn’t have been pushed away, atleast not that rude. I mean, I didn’t see much of a right in that girl saying NO in such a tone to that man. It was a different thing if it would have been polite but this was a little embarrassing. I also agree that there was no way she could have told that this was not a creepy man but to judge that he was – wasn’t that also deciding upon appearance?

      As for the east west bit, I think a lot of them had come up with ideas as to why west is way better, but I just wanted to say that it is people in the end. It is not about an Indian or a Non indian, it is about a human being in the end..

      1. Hi Vinay, please don’t take me wrong. I said appearance doesn’t say everything about a ‘person’. It is equally applicable to man and woman. Just like an apparently ‘humble looking’ man can be “creepy’ when he gets a chance to exploit a woman, an apparently “pretty” woman’s behaviour may not be pretty always. In your case, may be the man is actually an innocent man and may be the girl is rude by nature…who knows.

        My point is, just like “some annoying cases of men acting weird with women, some creepy too” does not mean all men are bad, one or two incidents of women being rude to polite men can not be the parameter to decide that women in general think that “all men are bad” and treat them in the same manner.

        About your question – “wasn’t that also deciding upon appearance?” I think you’ve already given a hint in your post when you wrote – “…if at all she has experienced an uncomfortable situation in the past.” “Or maybe she was just scared and reacted accordingly.”

        1. No no not at all Moon Roy, I am always open for debate and I kinda enjoy an intelligent one. There is a great brainstorming of thoughts and it usually comes with something interesting.

          I agree, looks are very much deceiving, we never really get to know what is really happening in someone;s mind no matter how closely we know them. I agree, it is very difficult to draw in a generalization about the behaviour. I guess that is perhaps the beauty of human behavior, there is never a standard answer. But maybe sometimes I guess it is easier to look beyond that scope of generalization and look for a greater truth and breadth applicable out there..

  4. True Nikhil, I guess even I would have done the same. Actually a very valid point, by pushing this man away, it might even mean that a worse one may come along. There is no real answer to that and no saying what might have happened.

    I think if I were in his place, maybe I would have spoken to the conductor or if she was that insistent I would have politely asked her to take the last seat if she was that concerned. Poor girl might have been going through a lot of things, but that man went through a lot more because of that outburst and I really found it very unfair that she had to shout at him..


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