Failure: You Badly Need It Once In A While

Posted on Posted in A-Z, LIfe's Questions

Its not a big surprise that I hate failure too, just like the way you do! I hate the feeling to the core and I wish there was a way to get out of it as soon as possible. But no matter what I said to myself, I realized that there is something unshakeable about failure – The definition it is going to create!


I have always hated to fail. The very idea of being not able to accomplish something, the thought of being rejected (How to handle rejection? ), the thought of something telling me that I am not able to do something was a constant pain and I felt so irritated to feel that my ego was being crushed over and over again. But somehow that didn’t really deter me from trying things I really liked and it further didn’t deter me from failing further which I kept on hating. Now you see where I am getting at? That is what I meant by Life is a Full circle 😛 :D.


But somehow somewhere nothing told me that each of these failures was important. I look back now and I realize how important each one has been to bringing me to where I am today. I really loved the whole run of events till I got into a company which paid me quite a good sum to do a work which I hated. Initially I thought I could do it for the money but you can imagine how long it would last. Then I headed to try my luck at the IAS exams which was supposedly the toughest atleast according to the reviews and made it to the interviews in the first two attempts and then got screwed in the interview. I felt like a big mess, took a lot of time to recover from it and then started cursing the exams, the board and the interview panel and so many other people in my life who were there for me and the ones who weren’t there for me.

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That perhaps made me feel good for a while but the feeling of failing at something did bug me for a long time. The beauty of life is no matter how much we are put down, the circumstances around or something inside keeps telling us to wake up and do something, something which can keep us active. Started doing odd things, those were the things which started keeping me afloat, the things which I never thought were of any significance. I started teaching in some stupid classes which I thought were of no importance but it gave a strange sense of satisfaction, then came writing reviews, paid and free lance writing which I did for a while and after that it was doing the guided tours at Royal Mysore Walks which perhaps changed my entire life around and now it is probably one of the best things that has happened in the recent past.


Now coming to the topic, I realized each of these failures sucked, made me feel miserable, made me think of so many things about myself which I hated thoroughly. But each of them did tell me something extraordinary, every time I fell down, it shattered my ego, it felt horrible but there was a strange sense of delight to know that something was happening, there was action and there was a constant run of emotions. I started realizing that there is so much to appreciate which I was missing out on cos I was being a little cocky and annoying being on the high horse of so called success. Then it was the learning how important each person is when it takes something to happen. I was of the opinion that intelligence ruled the world but then realized it was more than that, it was humanity. Then I realized how important it is to maintain relationships and respect people. Although I have hurt a lot of people in the process and feel a little sorry about it, I do realize how important it was to realize how foolish I was being by pushing people away. I did realize how important it was to say that I couldn’t do it and not call the grapes sour. I realized that there was great dignity in accepting things the way they are and accepting that even you can fail sometimes.


I did realize that I was not somewhere else compared to the rest of the population and I was one among them. I realized that one of the biggest challenges I had faced in life was relating to people and I realized why and tried to find a way around it. I also realized how important it is to be humble and behave like one, I realized the importance of making fun of oneself over others and trying to be with someone. I realized the importance of motivation and the connect between the theoretical and the real side of the world. Amongst a lot of other things, the one thing I am thankful for is that it made me more HUMAN than I thought I could be.


So, you see why I so badly needed a failure ?  I am sure you would have had similar experiences and I would love to hear about them if you would like to share below. I think as a society we are trained to shun our failures, avoid them, feel bad about them.I agree we should feel bad about them cos we feel that we have let down something, maybe our own standards, but that doesn’t mean it is the end of it. There is so much in the simple failures which can make life so much more elegant. Maybe it makes sense sometimes to accept that we really deserved it, even if we think we didn’t. That way atleast we are looking at what we can do about it instead of feeling sorry for ourselves.

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33 thoughts on “Failure: You Badly Need It Once In A While

    1. Thank you :). Nice to hear from you. True, failures are the defining points of our lives , they shape us, they make us who we are and they chisel us all the way through 🙂

  1. There are two outcomes to anything – success and failure. Failure can be of two types. Fail and you become helpless. Fail and you gain enough courage to learn and try again. The second type is why failure makes you strong!

    1. I like the reinterpretation of the word Failure Nona, esp the second definition 🙂 .. It is damn hard but I guess it is the most refreshing thing we can do! And the second type like you said is why failure makes you so strong and why it means so much as well in our lives 🙂

  2. Nice post Vinay. Failures should not be taken negatively and are rightly called stepping stones to success. What makes it worse is the peer pressure and seeing others running ahead of us in the race.It sometimes instills a pressure where time is sacrosanct and there is no time to fail and get up from it. Nevertheless, they are essential in the long run..
    Enjoyed the read..:)

    1. Thank you Anirudh. Completely spot on, faiilures should not be taken negatively at all. People often say that we should not be taking failures personally, but I would honestly say that we should or else we will never get the motivation to come over them… The pressure like you said is an amazing touch point which keeps us on track, which makes us run which makes us feel who we really are and what all we are capable of .. it is an amazing life indeed with a plethora of opportunities 🙂

  3. That’s very well put up, Vinay!
    Failure is the fuel that ignites the true person in us after the initial breaking down.
    I think I still have a lot of failures to see in my life and I shall eat the bitterness because from past experiences I know that there is then a chocolate factory waiting for you! 😀
    Good luck with the journey of life, God Bless 🙂

    1. Thank you Zaina :).. I have always cursed everytime I failed, felt so bad about myself, doubted my own self each time only to realize that there are so many ways to come over it and getting over it each time has been such a fulfilling feeling :).
      He he he, that’s a really nice way of saying it! Chocolate factory! 🙂

  4. Well written post!
    When I look back in my 21 years of life, there are many academic failures and perhaps because of them only one or two moments of success gave me the satisfaction for life!
    I will always love to fall to take a high jump in the sky later!

  5. Failures are heartbreaking, No one in this world works hard to fail however what if it turns odd……It is often said that opportunities does not come twice, rather I would say It comes in different faces, and that is what I have learnt from failure……. 🙂 Nice Read Vinay…

    1. That’s so beautifully put accross Priyashi – “Opportunities that come in different faces. If you don’t mind, I would really like to make an article out of it :).

    1. Have started working on it Priyanka, hopefully it should be out soon 🙂 .. If you have any other favourite quotes you would like to share, I would be more than elated to write about them 🙂

  6. Mind soothing post vinay . I agree that failure makes you humble and respect relationship. The best part of failure is that you start doing certain odd good things without any hesitation which may not be possible when one is successfull

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  8. hello VINAY,
    it looks like i am reading my own story. i was an s/w engg, leave my job to prepare for ias but my mistake leave me alone. the only difference in our story is that i am still in depression,taking medication for it and have give up my ias preparation.
    however after reading your story, i have come to know that there iz life beyond failure.
    i can’t express how much u motivated me.i want to say thanks from the bottom of my heart.

    1. Hi Rohit, thank you for sharing the story here. I understand the situation mate. It was incredibly hard to get out of that phase. It took a long time and a lot of annoying experiences and people to get here and there is a long way to go. There’s something incredible which the so called failure offers us and somehow we all have to find ways to tap into our energy and get back on life. And life really is a beautiful thing. I might be able to see this only when I look back but when I was in that phase it sure was hell.

      I can understand how hard it gets my friend. Do let me know if there’s anything we can write about or anything that would help at all. Happy to help 🙂

  9. thanks vinay for ur humble reply.
    i am constantly feeling bad about my past mistake and worry about my future. i am not able to understand wether to continue preparation or go for a job. i feel bad while contacting my friends who are in a good job. how can i improve.
    can u plz help me on this front.

    1. :).. I can certainly understand that mate. Being in a similar state about 4-5 years ago, I do know how it feels to be at this stage. But I can promise you one thing that it is going to get better.
      I had a similar dilemma when I got those results. A couple of decisions helped
      1) After 2 years of preparation and 2 interviews straight I decided that UPSC doesn’t really deserve a full time focus and I could give that time while working too.
      2) All of my friends were in great jobs and to be honest they still are. I come to realize that upsc is a little overrated sometimes. I pushed myself to believe that it is just another job and I would treat it as that. It helped me look at my situation a little better and think what I would have done if I were fired from the earlier job.

      At this stage, it might seem very irritating to be on the sidelines. But trust me, they are not doing any better. A lot of them are still trying to figure out what they want in life. Atleast you have that figured out.

      I am sure you are more capable than you think. There are a lot of freelance opportunities out there which can help you sustain yourself a bit. That will help the peer pressure front. For a while forget all your friends and look at your life in comparison with what you want to do and how close you are to it. If you look at others you are bound to be disappointed. Infact even now I feel a little disappointed if I see my friends earning more than me. That happens and it happens to everyone. There will always be someone we will be jealous and insecure about.

      But beyond that, I think we also need to realize that the full picture includes different aspects as well and when you look at that, life seems a lil more peaceful. My only suggestion would be to get busy, get incredibly busy. Dont allow too much time for these thoughts. Sleep over them and you will have a solution soon. Dont let that be the only thing on your mind in and out. You will find a solution

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