Whose fault is it? Right from our childhood we are used to this question and we know what is coming next after this question – A punishment for what went wrong and the punishment usually would be so severe that forget repeating it, it was easier to find a way around it. Naturally it was hard to admit faults as a child. Now that we are grown up and are in jobs are studying in college, our managers or teachers ask us as to who is responsible for the mistake. Again, the result is punishment, maybe a pay cut or a suspension from school. Why would anyone want to take responsibility when something goes wrong?
It is always easier to point fingers!
As Anthony Robbins says — There are only two reasons for someone to take action – “To avoid pain or to gain pleasure”. If we look at this particular scenario, there is no way we are being appreciated for taking responsibility or telling the truth, so why bother telling it anyway? Best thing is to avoid it and better yet place it on someone else so that we do not feel that bad or we do not feel the wrath!
Do we feel good?
Well that’s the funny part! Although it is very easy to point fingers, we do know what the truth is and it is the hardest thing to get away from guilt, even harder than being punished and being held responsible for what went wrong. And to top that, it feels further bad that we blamed someone else for the mistake we did and they are being punished for that! Way to lay a guilt trap right?!
Then how can we escape this vicious cycle?
Well I would say MAN UP! I know it is hard, I know it sucks and the culture has trained us so much in a silly way that as soon as someone admits a mistake, instead of making them feel comfortable, a lot more is dumped on them to make it feel all the more miserable. I find it really annoying that there is no incentive for someone to tell the truth or actually take some responsibility. But then again, it is harder to change the culture than changing ourselves and bettering ourselves a bit. The fault is a fault, it has happened, the more important thing here is the result and it is best to focus on how to make it right
I agree, it is embarrassing to take up that responsibility.clipartof.com
I am not going to say that it is cool or it is noble but I am going to say that after the moment has passed, it makes you feel proud of yourself. And that is exactly what I am trying to look for. The real sign of honor lies not in escaping a situation but in facing it head on, doesn’t matter if it makes you feel a little bad. It is temporary anyway. But what you take away from it is astounding and nothing short of a pride.
Here is something that might help you get out of an embarrassing situation : How to face an embarrassing situation?
Look at what can be done better!
I know it still feels bad after all these, the fault has been identified, the guilt has been laid on someone. But that rarely is the end of anything. The only way to get out of the trap is to do something to solve this fault or better yet, improve it upon the earlier design. That ought to make some difference.
All said and done, I agree that it hurts to point fingers at ourselves and I am not saying that we should do it for the sake of nobility. It looks like a very big word for me. But I would say DO IT cos it makes you feel better, it sets you free, it gives you the ownership and responsibility so that you start hunting for the solution. Too many people have played the blame game anyway, the answer is not in who did it, the answer is in how to solve it!