How Many Times Have You Said No
How many times have you said NO to a person who asks for your help. I am sure there have been times when you know that these requests are really trivial and sometimes out of your hand too. But you muster up enough strength and energy from somewhere to go out of your way to help them out. And the reason is not simply that you love them so much. The reason is not even that it makes you feel great helping someone out. Sometimes the reason is as simple as – it is damn difficult to say NO, especially to your loved ones.
Instead, we let the pressure build in, we forget our priorities and add this to our TO DO list and venture out to fix this problem. It is like a greedy glutton who never says NO to food, we feel as though we are on a crusade to solve all of it and it all becomes secondary whether you want to do it or not. We do understand that the person at the other end is important and you would like to help them out cos it is a way of showing that you care. I cannot agree more to that statement.
The Good Books On Religion Say
All the good books about religion and well being say that we need to help people around us and that is the key to fulfilment. But there is a slight catch to it – none of these books ever say that you need to help someone at the cost of your own life and happiness. Yes! It seems that we are preaching selfishness here, but we truly are not, we are talking about you organizing your priorities in such a way that the core of your life and the base emotions are not disturbed. Handling your life in such a way that you don’t feel guilty about saying NO. Of course we have written an elaborate post on the 9 Simple Solutions To Free Yourself From Guilt For A Healthy Life and the techniques will be quite helpful too, but there are a few things which you need not feel very bad about. And the act of saying NO is one such as long as you are satisfied with it.
Having said this, we sure agree that it is never easy to say NO to someone. Although it seems as simple as a two letter word, along with it arise plenty of questions to the mind which trouble your thoughts for hours and days together. Here is a video from Oprah’s Show on the Healing Power of Saying NO and how it can be used to free yourself from the life and your own expectations of yourself.
The Common Associations We Have With A No:
- Causing disappointment to others
- A sign of selfishness
- Against the law of relationship
- Scared about self-image
- Subject of talk among the group
Oprah quotes, “You think you are not valued until you say yes to everybody.” That’s one brilliant statement which justifies all the questioning and the battles of choosing YES or NO happening in your mind.
We are not saying that a ‘NO’ would not make you think further about your decision, but it at least helps you with reduced number of questions. Being true and dealing with a few questions is a great relief when compared to being untrue and dealing with more questions among which majority would be questioning your truth in it.
There are more reasons we can think which stop us from saying NO. But it’s also true that a YES without a genuine YES is almost equal to NO. Maybe, Oprah is right, it’s not just about yes, it’s about how true you are to yourself when you say that yes.
That was our thought for the day and the power of saying No. Stay tuned in for more.
Do join us for more such updates,
I guess the way we say NO also matters. If one blatantly says it, it could be taken in the negative sense; but if we say it convincingly, then it makes much more sense and the other person would appreciate too.
Saying ‘no’ is sometimes difficult..for different reasons you’ve mentioned here. Still, I think, it’s important to utter this two lettered word at times…it helps to build one’s image and makes other realize her/his strong decisions and courage.
A very well-written article, Vidyashree, as always… :-)
“A YES without a genuine YES is almost equal to NO” That almost changed my mind about certain aspects regarding saying NO.. I always get trapped in such situations every now and then but unfortunately, I never say No to anyone but now I realize, Perhaps I’m not being true to myself. A great post, as always! :)
I myself go way out of my league to do something for a special loved one because I simply cannot say no, and it is true how you explained why its hard for us to say NO to the we care for. Ophrah Winfrey hits the right nail when it comes to the power of saying No. As always , a beautiful post :)
Again a very practical post. It is essential to prioritize things and if that means one has to say No, I think one should do it. Also it helps the other person as he/ she knows what to expect and what not to expect.