Relationship, Love Stuff: Should A Guy Try More When a Girl Rejects Him?

If you are a guy, maybe this is one question you would have asked your friends or a friend of you might have asked you – Macha, that girl rejected me, I think she is not looking for anything more than a friendship. What should I do? 

And the answer of many of these ‘Friends’ usually is – Well, she is playing hard to get, you need to show how much she means to you. Haven’t you heard of all these quotes – “Persistence pays in life”. Trust me, I have heard this from a lot of my friends and I have often wondered whether it really works! I guess the girls would be in a better position to answer this, but I will go ahead with the generic logical assumption of mine as a NO and continue our debate.

relationship advice, dating and relationship, women and men relationship, saying no in a relationship, man vs woman in love

Most of our thought processes stem from these movies where the usual invariable scene is that the guy falls in love with the girl because she is absolutely pretty and gorgeous and love at first sight happens. They have this ‘Male Aura’ or what not to justify that but that is beside the point we are trying to make here. The poor girl would be seeing the guy for the first time and she would obviously say NO. And then the ‘Hero’ comes back to his regular life, gets another opportunity to prove his heroism. He continually stalks her or it so happens that their paths cross – the whole idea is to be in the same environment as the girl so that she notices his great personality and character!  

The circumstances then turn in his favour, the girl eventually falls in love with him as scripted. And most guys tend to believe that whatever shown in the movies is the inevitable truth. Well, maybe so or may not be so. I would like to believe that the guys are smarter than that. But then the question here is “Should a guy try more when a girl rejects him”. My simple and honest advice is seriously a NO. Perhaps you will find a lot of examples of how your friends or people you know have turned things around and made magic happen.

I think very few of us get to appreciate what happens on a girl’s mind when she has to bear with the same person trying to impress her even after she has said a clear NO. She has to bear with the stupid stuff the ‘Hero’ does, she has to bear with an unwanted experience in her life. Of course the hero is trying out his chances and making sure that he doesn’t leave any stone unturned. But what about the girl? Why does she have to put up with all that nonsense? Why does the hero want to attain her love through pity? 

Why is there is a constant struggle to be in the friend zone and then try to convert that into love. That is something I have never understood. Granted that I am a proponent of a direct thought and granted that things have worked the other way as well. But is that the way you want your story to be? Do you want to be that desperately trying out sacrificing your ounce of self respect and attitude as well? Maybe the ‘Hero’ says yes of course because she is worth it. Well, perhaps she is, but then if she means so much to you, why bother irritating her so much that she has no choice but to fall in love with you? Isn’t love something that blossoms when people have their own freedom of thought and it is less imposed? Perhaps I am being a little too ideal here, but I thought that was what love was – based on mutual respect. 

That doesn’t mean that friends cannot fall in love with each other, I would be too wrong to say that. It does happen, and does happen a lot, but not when the girl knows that the ‘hero’ is constantly hitting on her, trying to impress her every single instance he gets. Love is a very beautiful, natural thing, not something that has to be forced down someone’s throat. With that thought, I would like to point a cliche here if I may – “If it is meant to be, it will happen”. But making it happen should not necessarily be the constant pursuit.

With that backdrop, now you tell me the logic or the idea of the ‘hero’ on a never ending pursuit for his girl. Maybe the girls have a better answer for this one. So, over to you :).

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6 Responses to "Relationship, Love Stuff: Should A Guy Try More When a Girl Rejects Him?"

  1. Maniparna Sengupta Majumder · Edit

    Perhaps, the male ego makes a guy so blind that he fails to understand the simple fact, that, NO means NO. This is the root of all evil IMHO.

    Well-written, Vinay… 🙂

  2. Well… I do agree with what you say that you cannot assume the girl does not mean no when shes says no. You certainly should not try too hard to impress the girl, if she changes her mind she will let you know someway or other, please don’t wait for her… you have better things to do and other girls around for sure.


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