When parents force you to something you dont like!

I really don’t know what Rahul Gandhi had done to deserve this but I simply couldn’t stop myself from rolling on the floor. Personally no matter what I feel about the political icons, I would certainly not try and make a debate out of this although I am very keen to!

I am sure we all have had our fights with the parents. I have a friend who was dating a girl from a different religion, had a number of so called bad habits and had just quit his job to follow something he really wanted to. And naturally his parents were completely against everything. When he asked them to pick up one thing from the list, would you guess what their answer was?

” Find a job”

What happened to all those thoughts which asked you to reach for the stars, let nothing stop you or bother you, let there be nothing in your way, bla bla bla… All those high sounding words which made us feel that everything was possible in this world? Well I guess that is when they start telling you that you should be a realist! (Who is a realist anyway?)

But I am constantly perplexed and worried as to why we are doing it and they say they love us a lot and that is exactly the reason why! Well here are a few answers to the hypothetical questions and excuses…

What are they trying to protect? 

Well I understand that they love us. I also understand that they are trying to prevent us from being hurt. But in the process they are not letting us do what we want to and hurting us anyway. Isn’t that a little ironical? They say that they are going to protect us from any danger, I get it – they care for us but I want to grow up too, I want to be strong too, I want to be able to take care of myself too. I don’t want to run to them for every small discomfort in our life

You don’t know what the world is like! 

Of course I don’t know what the world is like, the protective parents have never let us know. The only world I know is that of the beautiful books I read which kept telling me everything was possible. Now are you trying to tell me that everything I believed in was wrong?

You can’t handle it! 

I don’t know but I would very much like to know. I would like to make those mistakes and if I really can’t I will run to you for support and love.

You will fail! 

Wow! Thanks a lot for the support! But seriously what if I fail, what if I don’t make everything I had thought about? Wouldn’t that something I would learn from? I don’t want to be perfect, I want to be wrong and even then I want to get to my goal. I would very much like to fail. I would rather fail at something I like than succeeding at something which I really don’t care for.

It is not as easy as it sounds! 

Well of course it is not! Does it occur to you that it is perhaps a very strong reason as to why I want to do it? why I want to go out of my comfort zone, face a few fears and failures and yet go on cos I believe in it? Isn’t that the morale I was actually raised with?

You are very adamant! 

Of course I am! If I don’t stand up for what I believe in then who will? And if I don’t want to live life my way, I would be living someone else’s life which I really don’t want to.

Fine, do whatever you want!

I think this is the final answer they give which means they are not completely ok with what we are doing and they are giving up on us. This is probably your victory in the conversation but you will never feel like you have won! :D.

I kid of course, and I also do exaggerate a bit cos I love a little bit of drama you see :) .

What if parents force their opinion on us?

But I do understand their fears, they want to be there for us, they don’t want us to see hurt or our dreams get squashed, they want to protect our ego and make us feel special cos we are their little children. But in the process something we both miss sometimes is that in order to protect our dreams from being squashed we have smaller dreams, smaller aspirations in life. Although we might end up being successful, sometimes it pays to realize what we were successful in and what we finally were – A big fish in a tiny pond or a small fish in a sea..

And the battle continues :)

Related:

I don’t know what I want to do with my life!

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15 thoughts on “When parents force you to something you dont like!”

  1. Thank you Sindhoo :). Lucky indeed. My parents too are pretty patient, but I guess I have really pissed them off over and over again. I can hardly hold them responsible ;)

  2. He he he :D . Ra Ga never ceases to amuse me. Poor chap though, I feel sorry making fun at his expense but damn these creative people make it all the more funny and harder not to laugh.

    I think it is a very dicey thing with parents, no matter what we say, they will always be very protective about us and they would look at our world through their eyes which is not totally their fault. I guess at some point a realization has to dawn that every person has to learn his own way in life. The solution of another person rarely works for our own self.

  3. He he he he :D .. Poor kids :P. Thats the most realistic truth Ruchi, everyday is a learning experience and we take so much from it. I agree, everyone of us responds to our past, our challenges and the experiences we have had. Sometimes it pays to feel that experiences for others would be totally different than the ones for us and people need to figure out their own answers in life..

  4. I second with Alok ji :-) Forcing is something not good as I don’t know how my both 9 years old & 3.5 years old kid bear my eccentricities :-D :-D but I believe everyday is a leaning day for parents too, something that u have mentioned was reality for many kids. Parenting style differs :-)

  5. Well my parents never tried to impose stuff maybe because deep down they knew that I am too adamant to listen to them :P :)

  6. Well, even i am quite lucky to not have overprotecting parents but i have seen such parents and seen how ultimately they really ruin their kids life.

  7. Lol, I seriously thought you are sharing something serious stuff now, but once I reached to the post I can’t be able to stop myself from laughing :)

    Nice post though Vinay. I do believe that parents should not ever force anything on their children, be it career, study or life partner. But then the kids should also have the ability to protest any wrong decisions of their life. But it should be a genuine protest, for some reasons on which you can truly rely upon. Many a times it becomes a fight of ego between parents and kids.

  8. Many parents do so! But, I am so lucky! I don’t remember a single incident when my parents forced me to do something I didn’t want to! I am damn lucky!

    Regards,
    Sindhu

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