Someone asked us a very interesting question today:
Do we always have to prove ourselves by giving explanations to our actions in life?
My immediate answer to the first part of the question was YES – We are definitely expected to prove ourselves. But, there is an underlying question there – To Whom?!
As for the second part – proving oneself by giving explanations to our actions? Now, that’s a bit tricky. My immediate answer to that would be NO.
But this is an open debate and I promise you to be as objective as possible through the process and although the topic says debate, our readers would love a discussion here on the said topic. Here goes our version:
1) Proving ourselves in Life
Well! We all are expected to prove ourselves in life or else our words really have no meaning at all. If someone, or ourselves have a way of defining ourselves, these definitions are corroborated by the actions associated with them and the results coming from that.
The real question is – Who do we have to prove ourselves to?
The ideal answer is as you guessed – Ourselves and we better be satisfied with our reasons.
Having said that, a complete dissociation from the society is also not feasible since we are as much a part and parcel of it. So how do we tackle such a situation?
2) Proving ourselves to others.
Well, the answer is pretty simple actually. The society believes what it is given to believe in and makes a story out of the facts it is presented with. In other words, even if you think you give the best story possible, there is no way to ensure that you are going to come out of the story seeming great.
So, do not really worry about giving explanations to your actions to the society cos the society is never going to understand what you are doing for the following reasons
- It simply doesn’t care
- It doesn’t understand your final vision
- It doesn’t believe that you are going to do it.
The society or the people around you are not going to care for your intentions for the action nor will it be patient enough to understand your motivation for the actions.
When someone looks only for the results, why worry about telling them what the actions are for? Don;t you think it is an unnecessary detail for the society and it is going to fall on deaf ears?
For example if you are an engineer who is working on a social cause, all the society cares about is that you are an engineer and nothing else. Only a very few may appreciate your social cause and the rest appreciate it only when you are on the newspaper or a magazine talking highly about you.
In simple words, the society is not qualified to judge your potential, so don’t bother giving explanations to your actions, worry about your approaches.
3) Who are these actions for?
You need to ask yourself this question more often than not. Who are these actions for? If the society doesn’t care for these actions, why do you have to do it?
- To reach the final vision?
- To keep yourself constantly motivated?
- To know that you are going somewhere with it?
Understand that these actions are way more valuable to you than anyone else! And this anyone else can be your closest friends or even family. They are no going to relate to your everyday experiences and emotions, all they are qualified to worry about is the big picture!
4) Then Who do you explain it to?
Well! We all have our inner circle don’t we, the ones who we can absolutely trust and condifently say that they have our back?
These are the people who deserve an explanation, the people who really care what is happening in your life and the thoughts that are going in your head. Use a clever discretion when you try to explain yourself to someone, not everyone will give you the detailed attention you deserve. Don’t waste your energy on that.
All through the discussion above, we have recommended not be explaining yourself to anyone except yourself for the simple reason that not many people will be in a position to appreciate your thoughts. You either spend a lot of time explaining that or do the clever thing by ignoring.
However, it all depends on one important question – How important is it to explain yourself to the other person? How will they react to it? Will it be supportive or do you have to spend more energy on explaining it to them than doing the action?
- How important is it to explain yourself to the other person? How will they react to it?
- How will they react to it?
- Will it be supportive or do you have to spend more energy on explaining it to them than doing the action?
- What does it mean to you if they are convinced?
- What does it mean to you if they disagree with it?
- How are you going to react to their reaction to it?
Basing on these, you can come up with an answer to proving ourselves by giving explanations to our actions.
Our straight forward suggestion is a NO, quite simple cos the results are the best explanations you can give to anyone in life.
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Not always Vinay, unless our actions are impacting others, particularly those on whom we are dependent or those for whom we are responsible, or those who have to make an adjustment for us or have to pay in some way or the other for our actions.
I think Vinay, we as part of society are answerable ONLY if the said action directly affects society. For eg- a smoker, a drunk driver causing an accident, a kidnapper traumatizing a family. They are answerable to society.
But beyond that, a personal choice that does not affect society should be left unanswered – like if I want to spend Saturday night in a library instead of a discotheque, then society has no right to question or expect an answer.