Keep Your Fears To Yourself – Robert Louis Stevenson

Keep Your Fears To yourself

fears, keep fears to yourself, handling fears, fears in life,

Keep your fears to yourself

The unknown fervour of a fear! I really don’t know what that means but it does sound pretty awesome doesn’t it? 😀

Life never is exciting without the fears that cripple us, the fears that make us doubt our capacities and wonder if we will be able to achieve our dreams or not, the fears which will make our life incredibly difficult and dissuade us from the actions we want to take to lead our lives the way we want. It certainly acts as a good checkpoint though.

Nevertheless, fear is an existential thing and we all need to find a way to work around it in order to make our efforts count. But what does it mean when someone says – Keep your fears to yourself? Doesn’t that essentially prevent us from telling the world who we really are? Why should we go against our natural behaviour and create a communication filter just because the world feels better?

The Selfish Point

Not that we like making a point which appears totally selfish, but it is true to a certain extent that when we share our fears, there is usually someone who shows sympathy to it and caters to our attention deficiencies. Our fears seem allayed a bit and life seems to be slowly on a path to restoration. Why curb something like that. On the other hand, there is another school of thought which says, let us not give this fear too much of importance because it ends up biting us in the back and giving an image about us which we are not extremely fond of. To an extent, it gives an image we would like to avoid. Rather, it is about sharing the courage cos the more we do it, the more we get in return.

Another school of thought to support this view is – Birds of a feather flock together. The more you talk about fears, the more you meet people of similar interests – maybe the ones who share the same fears or maybe the ones who want to terrorise others. Either ways, there is little you can learn from these engagements. Of course you will get a listening ear – but do you need a solution or just a listening ear? On the flip side, the more you speak to people who are confident and courageous, you attract people with similar attitudes. Maybe you get to talk to people who have braved bigger challenges and draw some inspiration out it. Maybe you get to live a bit vicariously and derive a beautiful pleasure of living life on the other side and making things work for you. You may even end up people willing to help you out because they see that you are willing to solve your problems and not just feel bad about something in life.

I think eventually, we all get what we put into our own lives and the circles around us. The more we want strength, the more we need to display it and by extension other aspects as well. In the end, it is all about a choice, I guess for me, it is a mix of these two things that works best.

What are your thoughts on the quote and our debate? Please do share your views, after all we all are after the same truth!

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  1. This quote is one of the famous Leadership quote and so apt. Most of our fears are meaningless, emerging due to self-doubts. Why would anyone then want any part of our fears. Courage however is something everyone wish to have but sometimes need a little help with. 🙂

    • Absolutely spot on jyothi. Nothing better expresses leadership I guess. We have to constantly portray a strong side and lead towards it instead of baulking under pressure and fear. The more we spread with people around the more they believe in us. It is such an important point which I had missed completely. Thank you for bringing it up. It provides a splendid context for the quote and its meaning.

  2. When you share your fear it reduces and when you share your strength it increases….Keeping fear within oneself can have a devastating effect because with time its intensity increases and gradually it empowers you… Therefore, the best way to deal with fear is to share it and subsequently deal with it.

    • True yash. To be honest I found myself at two corners when trying to analyse this quote and both aspects seemed to make sense. Definitely agree to fear having a detrimental effect when kept inside. The trick possibly is to use it as a motivation to bring the best of us. The question of course will be how. But it is a brilliant thought process to be in.

    • Thank you for the kind words Maitreni. It is a beautiful opportunity to try and tune our personalities to bring the best out of us. It can make life so much more enriching 🙂