If I had listened to the Critics!
If I had Listened To The Critics, I’d Have Died Drunk in The Gutter
– Chekov
Today’s post is dedicated to the critics we find around us – most of them completely unnecessarily and some of them sheer gold for the path we are headed in. It always is very tricky when it comes to receiving feedback from the people. The trick is to be mindful that most people/critics giving this feedback don’t really know how to give one. Although we can never have any control on that, we sure can control how we perceive this feedback and realise the goals we desire.
Recalling our previous detailed post on The 10 things To Consider before Criticising people, one of the key identifications was that people really don’t know how to give feedback. Most times they miss on the simple fact that the feedback must be tailored to the person we are giving it to rather than thinking about ourselves or being insensitive about it. We don’t mean to make the ‘Feedback Giving‘ process a very complex one than it already is, we are just hinting at the fact that it is an extremely sensitive thing and it deserves to be treated so. There is an inherent tendency to simplify because it seems easier for the person giving it, but that doesn’t really accomplish the desired result, does it?
And that is exactly the reason why we say, be a little careful when you receive information from these critics. There is a wide variety of them out there – some are perfectionists, some are easily impressed and some can’t help but find fault with every little thing you do. We need to take this feedback with a pinch of salt and identify if it really means anything to us. If and only if it makes sense or if there is something about it we think we can accept – then we can pick up points from it so that we have a path ahead.
Practical Tips about Critics
Apart from the general thoughts about critics and how we treat them, we would like to offer a couple very specific tips which can make the process of criticism receiving a little bit easier.
- Try to understand the underlying tone behind what people are saying – is it their fear/insecurities/upbringing or is it care/affection/love about it. The sooner you identify the driving cause, the better placed you are to treat that criticism
- Always remember that the criticism is a point of view/opinion on what you have done. You need to treat it that way and take utmost care to ensure that you don’t take it personally. The more you keep it about the job/work, the easier it is for you to work on your comeback plan
- Identify if that criticsm actually adds any value to your life and what you are doing. If the answer is yes, then there is a very strong need to pursue and work on it. If not, we also need to know when to say NO and get on with our lives.
These were our top tips about critics in life, do share yours and stay tuned for more. And in the end, if you just listen to nothing but criticism, it is just going to lead you to the gutter and hence the quote of the day –
If I had Listened To The Critics, I’d Have Died Drunk in The Gutter
– Chekov
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A wonderful post, Vinay :)
I feel it is really tricky to understand the tone of criticism. If it’s a good criticism coming from a well wisher, it should be worked upon. But however criticism should never be taken to the heart.
Your critic-al thinking makes a lot of sense. I only found this iffy – “Try to understand the underlying tone behind what people are saying – is it their fear/insecurities/upbringing or is it care/affection/love about it. The sooner you identify the driving cause, the better placed you are to treat that criticism.” This is easier said than done, right? AND also subject to inaccuracy of interpretation?
Was good to read you today!
Thank you Sakshi :) .. He he, critic-al thinking! :D :D .. That is a very solid observation Sakshi, I agree that it might not always be possible to identify the underlying tone, but there will always be clues.
And yes, there will always be those inaccuracies – truth is that there will be inaccuracies even if we follow the suggestions. The idea was to ensure that the thinking that goes behind our decisions is mainly driven by us so that the ownership is easier. It is pretty hard to be unperturbed by the people and their critical observations, but it is quite important to neglect them at times because sometimes we are not ready at all, no matter how perfect the suggestion is.
And you are right, if the critics are mostly the ones who don’t tell it in front of you, it becomes harder to identify where they are coming from. But maybe a little knowledge about them can help us a lot forward.
If not, then the tip might be to identify if the criticism makes any sense to us and if it does, maybe it calls for action in that direction. If not, then perhaps it is best to chuck it away..