It was the results of matriculation exams yesterday and I was talking to my cousin who scored a 95% in the exams. Naturally I assumed that he would be very happy and congratulated him and it was not a complete surprise to know that he wasn’t the happiest kid. Later I talked to his parents and I guess I realized why he was sad, neither did they seem to be very happy about it. And I kept wondering, it was 95% just 5% less than a complete perfection and they were not happy cos of the 5% but there was 95% of the reason to feel happy, wasn’t there?
Then I guess I realize how many times I have felt bad that I didn’t score a 100 in math, how many times I felt irritated that my neighbor scored more than me, how many times that I realized I wasn’t the topper of the class. I agree the competition was great, it kept pushing me to do something, something in a remarkable way and trying to be ahead of the competition, but I realize I have never been that happy about things. Even when I scored a 100 in math, I don’t think there was an instance where I jumped out of joy cos I had scored in the early 90’s in some other subject! I mean I realize if that was the case, when will I start feeling happy? I certainly didn’t feel it during the degree with my scores, not even when those scores landed me in a different job which I decided to quit later. The only joy I feel right now is nothing related to the scores I had in my past, none to the marks I scored without understanding why but doing something which doesn’t require any of these at all.
I still don’t understand the push towards huge marks, high paying jobs, big cars, huge houses. I do understand that all of them are very nice to have and a great possession, sometimes even the society’s way of acknowledging how good you are. My only question would still be how good you feel about it? I am certainly not saying we shouldn’t have those materials in our life, we certainly should, or else everything seems like an empty philosophy. My only question is to know at what cost and I am sure there are ways to achieve these goals by doing what you like. It maybe delayed a bit and you might have to find a few offbeat ways but I am sure there are ways.
I think it is mostly the priorities we have that changes our outlook towards things, maybe sometimes it is nice to accept what we have done and pat ourselves on the back. The society still appreciates us, it has nothing better to do, or it makes fun of us but it has nothing better to do! So why bother about all those things which seem so superficial, why not look yourself in the mirror and give yourself an attaboy for everything you have done. I know none of these were easy, none of these came your way. It is you who has found solutions and ways to deal with them. Why not give yourself that pat on the back and smile? For there are a lot of reasons to do that, remember it is the 95% which drives us and not the 5%!