In an ideal world, I would be sitting in all riches, driving a brand new BMW SUV, living in a multi floored estate surrounded by hoards of trees, a personal helicopter and a lot more.. Well, no dearth for imaginations right? ;). But once in a while even if you lead a lifestyle like this, there are so many things that happen around which pull us down, make us feel bad about ourselves and think as if we are a failure. Maybe it is just a phase or a sprint or even a marathon, but the question still would be – What do you do about it? What are among the first things you do when you feel like a failure.
My stock responses would be like this
- Head down, shoulders down, voice at the lowest decibel possible, avoid friends and family, talk as less as possible, … Well I think you got the picture.
- Pick out the choicest selection of sad songs, stay inside the room and play them over and over again.
- Go for a walk, curse a lot of things and people around, feel jealous as to how things are working out for others and not working for me.
I can write a lot more here but I guess I have painted a solid enough picture already. But to observe one thing, I don’t really have to be a genius to understand that none of these is offering me a solution, I am ending up loathing myself in self pity and feeling sorry for myself and never for once looking at the solution. How can I address this better? Here is a little food for thought…
- Go for a run! The adrenaline rush can easily replace the sense of dejection to anger which is a far better emotion. Anger usually is a very powerful thought which goads us into action ( Although I would advise to refrain from a dangerous one 😉 )
- Listen to music – and please not the sad slow songs, it just accentuates the feeling of the moment. It makes you feel even sorrier and somehow manages to bring in a new creativity making you feel worse about a situation and romantically comparing and painting a picture of things worse than they are. Instead – Pick a song, full of thump and beats, keep the volume high, shout at the top of your voice, direct the energy in a better direction. Feeling sad is not going to make you feel any better, it is simply a trick your mind plays on you and keeps you in a vegetative state. Instead get into action, very soon you will be able to divert your faculties in a better direction.
- Keep yourself busy – An idle brain is a Devil’s workshop. Be busy, an active mind catches more answers and questions than an idle one sitting in a corner trying to feel sorry for oneself.
- Meet people – One of the easiest things to do when you feel like a failure is the tendency to stay alone, locked up in the rooms and not talking to any. There is so much of juice in life you miss out on this way. There is so much of life around you which you are missing just cos you choose not to be a part of it. Go out! Meet people. And I mean people who are full of energy and life. Pick and choose, share with them, draw the energy, contribute.. Lighten up. Start living!
- Ask better questions – Stop thinking about what is bad about the situation! It keeps giving you answers which you will not like. For instance if you keep asking – What is wrong with me? Why do things always happen to me? Am I such a bad person to deserve this? ….. The only answers you are going to get are the ones you would hate yourself for or the situation even more. Instead ask – How can I use this situation? How can I make it better? What is the message it is trying to convey? what can I do to get out of this rut? All these questions make sure that you are en route to an action and the questions are always pointed to what can be done which is a much progressive one than the former ones!
- Take responsibility – I understand it is very hard to do this. No matter how hard it is, know that nothing happens on its own, if something went wrong, the easiest thing to do is deny that it has happened or pass the blame on to someone else. But neither of these are going to offer you any solution. Take ownership of the situation, accept that it has happened, start the hunt for the solution. Cos no matter how many times you deny, that is not going to change the outcome. What has happened, has already happened, what matters more is what you are going to do about it!
Do join us for more such updates,