How to stop being a pessimist

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What defines an optimist? Who is a pessimist? And who is a realist? 

The larger question I would bank on – how true is the branding? Is it not true at one point of time we have been all of these? What makes one refer to another as a pessimist? Does it mean a pessimist is bad and not someone to be banked on? I would certainly say no, sometimes I realize that pessimists are more right than the optimists cos they know what is holding them back. A blind optimist walks over fire only to realize that it hurts. A pessimist would never try. But the point being not who is right or wrong, it is about action and trying it. I would rather be an optimist trying things and burning fingers cos there is a lesson and it is a realization unlike just an imaginary thought or fear. Everyone is a smart ass when it comes to theory but that is not something which makes a difference!

The question now is few us do realize that there is a trend of a negative thought and the question is how we get out of the pattern?

  • Identify the pattern, it is not in the big things that happen, it is the small things we do. How we react when things don’t work in our favour, how we react when the prices go up, when the people around stop responding to certain needs, when the economy runs down. Do you look at what all is not working or do you try to see if there is any solution you can work at? Anything that can give you a recluse from the negative train of thought.
  • Search for the solution – the only thing that can give you solace is action, the result follows an action and an action is sought by the thought. The question is how you manage the thought to get you to an action and the result you deserve and desire
  • Stop feeling sorry for yourself. Accept that what happened was cos of your actions. There are always signals, nothing comes and hits you in the face, there are always patterns which we conveniently decide to avoid, stop and think, nothing comes undeserved. Take responsibility and take action; that is the only time you can make a difference.
  • Thank the situation. No better solution than gratitude, the moment you thank for what is happening in your life and thank it from the bottom of your heart. That is the time when you start looking at a solution rather than feeling sorry for yourself. Thank the situation for the opportunity it presents, you may not see the opportunity right away, you may see it as a huge road block. Thank it! It makes you stronger, it makes you look at the solution than the problem, cos trust me action is usually in the direction of focus. If you focus on the problem, your mind will find ways to wallow in it. Focus on the solution and act on it, you will find ways to be where you want to be.
  • Stop looking at your fears, some are tangible and some are not, face them both.. They will take you to a logical solution, many a time things are perceived than they really are. But the reality doesn’t change, whether you act on the fear or not, the situation remains the same, better act on it, it brings something fascinating out of you, a solution, an opportunity to be better and stronger, and a chance to get back on track.
  • Pessimism is a choice, and so is optimism! It is always a conscious decision between the two and so is the self proclaimed realism. I would say, forget all the definitions, they kill you; the only way to live is spreading yourself beyond the limitations of thought descriptions. You gotta liberate yourself cos it is not only freedom we are talking about; it is living life on a bigger scale!

Like we say, if a solution is your choice you have already overcome the definition of pessimism!

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9 thoughts on “How to stop being a pessimist

    1. Thank you Sudha! 🙂 .

      I have been a big fan of Dale Carnegie from the time I read his book – How to win friends and influence people. Top notch work and very simple and effective solutions.

      Do let me know if there is any other book you’d recommend, it would be nice to add a few more to the reco list 🙂


    1. Thank you mate.. Yea, people are so good with theories and the quotes they use to make any argument so polished!! Sometimes it makes me question – ” Why does one have to complicate things to that level. Isn’t it the simple truth that matters in the end?!

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