What is fear?
Someone said FEAR is False Evidence Appearing Real!
Although I never really believed in that but I felt that there was some sense to it. But it made more sense when I read a quote from Will Smith –
“Fear is not real, the only place that fear can exist is in our thoughts of the future. It is a product of our imagination, causing us to fear things that do not at present and may not ever exist. That is near insanity. Do not misunderstand me danger is very real but fear is a choice.”
“Then perhaps things started making a bit of sense.
Why is fear bad?
Why is fear bad? What does it keep you away from achieving? How would have life felt without this fear dragging you below like an anchor.
Fear has a unique way of getting to our nerves. Our natural response to an uncommon occurrence is fright cos we know that we are not ready for this and I am not in control of the situation.
And it is precisely bad cos it makes us panic and lose complete control. And we start acting at our worst and it takes a hell lot of time to reclaim our composure.
And this is precisely why fear is bad – it doesn’t allow you to do anything, thus resulting in a continuous vicious circle – you are afraid of something and you are afraid of taking action. In the end, you are afraid of taking any decision at all cos you don’t want to expose yourself to the hurt. But fear alone hardly ever achieved anything in life. It needs a hell lot of energy to rattle you and unsettle you.
Why is fear good?
Don’t discourage the fear, it is trying to tell you something, it is trying to send across a message to you
– maybe it is trying to say that something is going wrong and you need to step in to fix it
– maybe it is the call for action – maybe it is trying to say that you are too rational and wants you to move from your chair and look outside.
– It is a great motivator to set you free and further more focussed.
Do’t ignore fear, don’t ignore what it is trying to tell you – brace yourselves and embrace it with open arms. Even fear gets a bit afraid of confidence sometimes.
So you see – Don’t curse it yet, fear has an upside too.
Do you want to overcome fear?
I can hear you thinking – what kind of a stupid question is that?! Of course I want to overcome fear. That is reason I came to this post in the first place.
I do understand that it does get quite challenging to overcome fear right away and it feels quite farfetched to promise overcoming fears in a jiffy. They sure take their own sweet time. But today, we shall try and find ways to make this process as fast as possible.
Why you should overcome fear?
Cos I want to resolve this situation and get on with my life!
Well it has more undertones to it than just that. It instills you with confidence and strength to overcome stronger fears, it creates an attitude in you – an attitude of curiosity and a certain joy which makes you challenge your boundaries and capture new horizons.
10 Elegant ways on How to overcome fear
So, enough of this dilly dallying, we shall get to the ways to overcoming these fears in life.
1) The meaning of the Fear
– It is trying to tell me that I am incapable of something
– It is trying to tell me that I did something very wrong
– It is trying to make me feel bad
In short it is personal and it is telling that there is something wrong with me which I need to fix. The worst part of any fear is that it makes you doubt your capacities and it makes you question a lot of things including your pillars of strength and rightly so.
Cos if we are not questioned or challenged there, we never realize how strong or how weak we are and what makes us that special. We need to be questioned ,we need to be pushed cos most times we often undervalue ourselves.
2) The purpose of fear
It is trying to warn you about something which is going to happen and you might need to fix it soon depending on the intensity with which you feel about it.
In short, it is a signal, it is a note sent across to you – not in the most direct way but in a subtle way that you need to brace yourself and try thinking of a solution.
3) Being ready
Sometimes the fear just asks you to get ready to face something. In other words the fear is prepping you up for a bigger challenge and asking you to garner that strength within you so that you can conquer the new challenge.
It is talking about trying to identify the various dimensions of a problem which we might have neglected earlier.
The challenge here is to segregate the two challenges and look at the real problem. Fear is just a symptom, it is not the disease, it is a signal and most times we are so focused on solving the symptom that we miss out on the big picture.
4) The thin line where fear screws you up.
Don’t let the fear consume you – it makes you think of the worst case possible and wonder what would happen if nothing works in your favour. In this case – the fear is driving you away from the real problem and we are found battling a possibility over reality.
So, don’t let the fear get to you, just collect yourself and ask that one question –
“Where does this stand in the big picture?”
Where does this one occurrence leave me. Is there a way I can still work the big picture even without the smaller one? Or is this everything?
More than 90% of the times, there is always an another way.
5) What do you visualize?
What is your facial expression when you imagine this – is it a frown, are your shoulders down? In other words, does it energize you to take any action or does it make you want to crawl in a space and sleep?
The purest solution to overcoming fears is ACTION. Action is one thing which can set you free, that one thing which can liberate you and make you feel connected to the original path.
6) Who is Bigger? Fear or YOU?
Who is the bigger person here? Is it the fear? We all know that the fear doesn’t deserve the place of a bigger challenge, we do know that it is something which brings our focus from what needs to be done.
Fear makes us needy, it makes us crave for attention, it makes us question our own guts and it makes us feel terrible inside. But you need to ask this question – Who is the BIGGER one here? It certainly cannot be the fear.
Come on! You know that you have solved bigger challenges in life. What is so big about this one fear that it is bringing you down so much? Why does it deserve so much of importance in your life?
Don’t look at fear as this one big thing – a big mountain which is impossible to climb over. Instead look at it as a small mole – no matter how hard it is, downplay it. Think of it as a small challenge which you can resolve. Think of the ways you can tackle it.
And most importantly think of a way you can hold yourself to a higher ground than the silly fear!
7) How much of it is real?
We need to ask ourselves what we are trying to solve – the fear or the danger. The danger is real, it is right there, it is a great possibility – are we working for a solution or a mental exercise and how much do either of them mean to you?
Find out the real truth. We all have a tendency to rationalize fear, but be honest, not for me but for yourself, cos in the end it is our own personal battles that we all are fighting and we need to find our solutions. Being true to ourselves is the first step towards a real solution.
8) The curious case of fear!
“What does this mean? Can this mean something else? Can this be an opportunity for me?”
Remember that it is in these questions which we ask ourselves that we find the real answers, Ask better questions, the ones which lead you to an action, to a solution you deserve and a solution you desire.
There is no time for the stupid questions in this world and I mean questions like – Why me? Am I so stupid? Why am I so unlucky? And so on…
9) What is the opportunity here?
We have already established that fear is an emotion, a signal a choice and also an opportunity – sometimes the best one you can find. Your wealth of gold sometimes is just across that border of overcoming these small fears which act as a barricade.
And these barricades are there just to test how strong you are, whether you really deserve it. Life has taught us that our emotional quotient is a lot more stronger than the IQ and it can open more doors to us. Fear is nothing more than a door like that.
And overcoming fear just like anything else is an addictive habit and a great one at it!
10) Failure is a matter of perspective.
Truth of the matter is that we all feel that, we all are scared of that. But the intensity makes all the difference in the world. It is about how much we give in to this concept of failure and how much we stay ahead of it.
And coming to think of it, failure just like fear is a perspective isn’t it? Try to look at your situation the way the world looks at it. See how significant or insignificant it is from such a huge perspective. It helps you place your fear where it really belongs.
11) Start Small
We understand that overcoming fears isn’t very easy, esp at this stage of our lives where these fears make a lot of sense. We are no longer afraid of coming second in class or wearing the wrong uniform to school.
But we are afraid of what others think about us. Ironical as it may seem, we all are afraid of something. But we all have to start somewhere or else the fear starts getting the better off us and leads us in a direction it wants.
In other words it makes you lose complete control of life. In order to face these big fears – start small, start by defeating these smaller fears and finding solutions to them. Make the fear handling muscle of yours stronger and more efficient. And there you are on the perfect path to face all the fears in your lives.
It is never easy, but it is also not as hard as you think. Conquer these fears, the world is truly your oyster!
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