How I Met Your Mother: Revenge!
Television series like F.R.I.E.N.D.S and How I Met Your Mother have never failed to teach me emotional values. One of the recent lessons was from the above line. I could totally relate to it as I did the same and do it unknowingly sometimes even today. I guess we all have come across that one person whom we don’t want to meet often. May be we are affected by the way they treat, by the way they speak or by the way they make us feel.
Who is in your pit?
Certain people bring you pleasure every time you meet them and certain others make you feel “How I wish I didn’t meet him!” You are sad, disappointed, irritated, annoyed, frustrated or angry by a few people and those are the ones who disturb you. He might be your uncle who unnecessarily advises you on your career, he might be your boss who never agrees with you, or your friend who hurt you or that one person who never miss an opportunity to show you down. Think of that one person whose words, action affect you.
How do we feel putting them in a pit?
It creates a sense of satisfaction to put someone who is negatively affecting you deep down in your mind and curse them, hate them and think of all the things you can do to them for being mean to you.
What do we do later?
We have different ways of exhibiting our emotions when we come across people like this. A few of us avoid them. Standing them would be one impossible thing to do. A few might fight with them to show them they are wrong and a few would want to do the same to them to make them realize how it feels. May be disrespect them the way they disrespected you. Hurt the one who hurt you. Why should you alone suffer?
Why do we do it?
We want them to know how bad they make us feel when they criticize us every time, when they make fun of us, when they condemn us.We want them to go through the same pain we undergo when they betrayed us, disrespected us. . We want to tell them they are disturbing, they are senseless, they are stupid and so arrogant. We don’t want them to repeat their actions again and upset our minds.
How it actually affects?
Every time you think about them you feel angry. Every time you meet them you dislike them more than before. That’s the impact they left on you. Did you ever think what if you stopped them? Imagine how stressful your mind becomes. You fill it with anger, revenge, and depression. The pain you are giving to yourself is more than the pain they created. You are thinking it over and over wasting all the time, energy. More than anything you are letting them to control your mind, your actions and emotions. Everything you do would be either to avoid them or to teach them a lesson. You are letting that one person who troubles you the most take away your peace. If you are letting that one person affect you so much then don’t you think the pit you dug all these days was for yourself.
What if you are already in the pit?
Only one person who can let you out of the pit is YOU. Come out. Make yourself stronger. Believe no one can make you feel bad without your consent. People hurt you, irritate you and annoy you that’s OK they don’t have direct access to your mind without your consent.
What can you do?
When you see people who aren’t willing to stop their practices let them do it. If you struggle hard to stop one, the other will be ready to start at you. I believed avoiding such people was the perfect way. I observed every time I avoided them I scarified my comfort. I spent a lot of time in thinking of the ways to avoid them. I could feel that mental stress thinking what to do and how to do. Today I say it’s better to avoid their words affecting you than to avoid the person totally.
I tried to bark at them. I did a couple of times and guess what happened, some stopped and some of them barked back louder than before. Somehow it didn’t make me feel good about the behaviour of both.
I tried ignoring them. This turned out to be a better solution. Just smile and nod your head. Sing la la la in your mind. If they are adamant don’t make an effort to make them understand. Stay calm and nod your head.
Or try this. Try forgiving them. See them as the poor souls who find happiness by ill-treating others. Have some mercy on them 🙂 start forgiving them. Don’t expect an apology. It looked funny for the first two times when I tried but it feels good to ignore and forgive because a few people don’t really understand the way to treat people.
You cannot stop people hurting you, disrespecting you or criticising you. The only thing you can do is to stop them affecting you.
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