Author: Preethi Anantha Narasimhan
We all have em! A variety of them. I think a single word is just too narrow to be filing all our friends under! 😀 We have friends we talk only about work with, some about relationship issues and family drama with, some we gossip with, some we hang out and have fun with, some we need, some that need us, many close friends that you’d talk about and do everything under the sun with! And some that you could always count on and you know you’d be there for them too no matter what!
Oh I forgot ‘Best friends’! I think we all had one or two when we were in high school or middle school. It felt like they meant the world to you and you wouldn’t go a single day without talking to them. Confided everything in them and shared all your joys with- were beautiful innocent times. Some are fortunate to still be close to them, some lucky enough to be in touch with them but many are not. Some have lost in touch simply because they’ve grown up and moved apart. Some drifted because of proximity and a few might have had fall outs and misunderstandings. Some would have had terrible fights and never made up.
Well, if not best friends, we all can relate to having fought with a good friend and never making up with them. You read something or see someone posting a picture with their friend on facebook doing something and you think about that friend of yours you used to do the same thing with.. or see two people behaving the exact same way you and your friend used to be.. And your mind fills up with a variety of emotions- sadness, guilt, regret, frustration and sometimes a strange emotion you cannot name… a strange sense of not having something you had…
On this friendship day, let’s get over our unresolved friendship issues shall we? Or at least try to? 🙂
If You’re Still Angry With Your Friend!
This friendship day, forgive…Realise how much energy you’re diverting on the anger you feel for them. Enough of it already? Not for them- for you. You need that peace. And your friendship deserves another chance. Give it. Wholeheartedly. Decide to forgive, take your time to calm down as you convince yourself to forgive. Stop waiting for them to come up to you. It’s the expectation that is driving you mad. You are probably right in expecting an initiative from their end.
But you need to get over this difficult feeling. So, you make the first move- just one more time may be? Approach with a forgiving mind set, be the bigger person and give that beautiful relationship another chance. Who knows, they might feel sorry for making you do this and you might get an apology or an explanation you stopped expecting. 🙂
It’s Never Too Late
Are you guilty? Regret what happened? You feel you could have done something differently to avoid the situation? Express
It’s never too late to try and patch things. If you know you could have some something differently, you don’t have to actually do it- it’s all in the past. May be just an acknowledgement is what it takes for a fresh start. Why not give it a shot? Express genuinely, take responsibility for what happened. Sometimes the fight/ difference is a distant memory and all you’re left with is regret. Of not remembering why you stopped being friends or why you fought. Express. May be they are in the same place too. If it doesn’t work, you’ll at least be left with the satisfaction that in spite of what happened, you did your part. That’s one regret less for your future! 🙂
Let it go…
Well sometimes, fights are too huge to make up. Too difficult to patch things up. You might have started feeling it’s a one way relationship and might be tired of being the bigger person. It’s very natural in a relationship when one of us start taking the initiative, it’s easy for the other to take us for granted and never realise how we feel. There are only so many chances you could give a relationship in spite of yourself. And yet, when you have decided to let it go, deep down it hurts.
Well, eventually the hurt will disappear and only the pleasantness stays. You’ll be left with fond memories. Make way for that. Don’t harness that bitterness you feel right now. Consciously let go of the bitterness. Feel thankful for the good times you’ve spent with them. Remember how lucky and happy you felt for having that friend in your life someday? You know you really are blessed to have had their friendship in the past. So what if they aren’t in your present? Your past was very important too. Well, for those days, smile it off 🙂
For our inner peace and better friendships, let’s forgive and remember the wonderful people we were once great friends with and wish well for them! And maybe say hi and catch up if you bump into them again with a smile 🙂
Happy friendship day! 🙂
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