Eye Contact: On a sweltering hot day, with the sun at its peak, I was out with 2 of my guests from a different country, walking around the city. Imagine, If an Indian describes weather to be very hot, what would a person from the west describe it as? It was far easy for me to manage compared to the other two.
As we walked and walked we made a few stops to talk about certain things. One of my guests came close to me and asked “Can I wear my sunglasses? Please don’t mind.”
“Really? Are you asking me?” This was what my shocked mind said. Hiding the actual words of my mind, my mouth calmly said, “Ya sure.”
“Sorry, my sunglasses will break our direct eye contact but I am all ears,” Said the lady.
“I appreciate your politeness,” I said with a pleasantly confused state of mind.
Etiquette in Communication – Eye Contact
I was pleasantly surprised on how someone could be so polite to another. She was feeling uncomfortable because of the sun and yet managed to walk so far without her sunglasses on as it would affect our conversation. This is the first time I came across someone who knew what eye contact actually means in a conversation. (Related: Communication Skills and active listening)
I am sure the lady knows and appreciates the beauty of a conversation. At the end of the day, I could smile more and feel nice about myself as the lady was generous enough to ask something like that. I had a bigger reason to smile more. It was to know that the lady was interested in my talk and that it was a loveliest sign of appreciating me.
That day, the lady left me with 4 important lessons.
- 1) She reminded me, how important it is to talk to people with eyes.
- 2) Politeness and being polite to others. Of course, everyone appreciates that.
- 3) Next time, when in conversation under the hot sun I make sure to ask the other person before I put on my sunglasses.
- 4) Eye contact is the best way to tell someone that you are interested and listening to them.
We feel the sense of respect, attention, appreciation, interest and understanding when someone looks into our eyes and talks. For another person to feel all these during a conversation with you can bring incredible positive image about you.
In the end, what people mostly want is someone who actually listens to them. And if eye contact is a brilliant way then why not make eye contact when you talk?
I can’t beileive it either ! Such people still exist :D
She just gave poluteness a whole new meaning !
Will rememeber to follow the four beautiful lessons you listed :)
Thank you Najm. It took me a day to digest that incident :)
Eye-contact is really important, It’s said that our minds speak through our eyes… :-)
That’s so true Maniparna :)
Nice and informative. People abroad take cultural difference and sensitivities seriously. I was once asked by a German boy about to come to India, “will I be beaten up if I look at girls”. It sounds funny now, but he asked it in all earnestness.
Thank you Abhijit. I agree about the sensitivity of cultural differences. A lot of people come up with questions to make sure they don’t hurt believes of people here. I wonder what image we have given to that German Boy for him to come up with that question.
I agree.
Eye-contact is important. Even in the Hindi movie Happy New Year, SRK has this dialog- Those who avoid eye-contact are thieves…
I haven’t watched Happy New Year but have come across this dialogue Anita :)
Really nice Vidyashree :) Eye contacts are really important during conversations, but then the politeness of your lady is really appreciable :)
Thank you Alok. I still wonder how could someone be so polite.