Have you ever asked this question in your life? I am sure if you are a normal human being like me then you would have definitely had this question and definitely more than once also. Esp when we are involved in so many things where we give our heart and soul and something or the other screws up, something goes wrong and the first question I would normally get in a such a situation is this
“What did I do to deserve that?”
And I do get a lot of answers but my most favourite one is this “NOTHING”. It is as if someone is playing a mean trick on me, putting me at a disadvantage and I also realize that I don’t like the situation I am in but what is that we do? Here are a few common questions which appear when in a situation like that
Do we always get what we deserve in life?
– My ideal answer is YES! But let us start with a more believable one – NO! I think that’s perhaps the first answer most of us get when we have faced something which we don’t like – the disappointments, the failures, the feeling of rejection and so many more emotions which put us down. And I do sometimes feel that we don’t always get what we deserve in life, we always get way less than that and somehow someway the person we hate tends to have an easier way around life and things always seem to work for him, EFFORTLESSLY!
I know you didn’t deserve it!
– I sympathize with you, I really do! I really wish there was something I could do to make you feel better. But I guess that is not what I am here for, you really have some lovely people to do that for you. I am here to try and find a solution, a way out of this situation. I feel sorry for the pain and the embarrassment the situation has caused but that happened for a reason – to send you a message, the message can be as simple as it needed more hard work or a strategy needed revisiting or the timing was bad and so on.. But it never means this question below..
– This is perhaps the stupidest question to ask! Not because it is something we normally do but cos it is not going to give you any answers you like. The most popular answers you get when you ask a question like this are – I am stupid, I am unlucky, people don’t like me, I am cursed, I am useless.. If you look at all these answers you can see that there is one thing in common. All of them are self defeating and none of them would lead you to anything productive.
What if you deserved it?
– Although I would like to think that I didn’t really deserve what happened, the only solution that came from it was that I felt a little better, my ego felt a little better. It helped me let go of things at ease and find peace with myself and my inner self felt good about me. But the issue was never resolved. How often have we solved things which were other’s responsibility? Will we do it if we don’t take responsibility of what has happened to us. I do know that there are some situations in which it is impossible and unreasonable to take responsibillity on ourselves, but do it anyway. Not because it will shatter your ego but because that is the only way you can head to a solution.
So, do you actually deserve it?
The answer is – Who cares? Atleast from the external world, no one cares, no one cares as to how many reasons you give for a justification, they will leave you with their own conception of the result and whoever it is they are going to blame, it is not going to make any difference to you. The society or people around you should not have that significant an impact on your thought. Tell yourself that you actually deserve it and be done with it. It does something wonderful, it brings that responsibility and ownership on you which naturally brings out the pursuit for solution as well.
Do not delve in the thought of a blame game, it is not going to do you any good. You need to solve your problem and you need to find the best foot forward to solve it, Your innate self may say that it is not responsible, but take it anyway, sometimes the solutions become a little more important.