How often have we felt that we need to shout to make our opinions heard? Maybe at our team mates, our bosses, colleagues, the market vendor, the person violating a traffic light, so on and so forth. I am sure given an average day there are a hundred and thousand things which can completely irritate us to the core and we wonder as to how to make it work in our favour.
The most immediate stock response that comes to mind is venting out the anger, shouting at the person who wronged you and hoping that they would understand what you mean when you shout. But isn’t this true – If a person has not been able to understand the first time you told them so patiently and explained it to them bit by bit, would shouting the same thing to him make any difference? If any, it might just antagonize him further. Odds are that if he is an introvert, he keeps it to himself, runs it over his head a couple more times and feels bad about it. Is your purpose served? I mean the work or the thing that has to be corrected remains the same – all you have done in the process is that hurt a person who is important to you, made sure that he is never going to do something for you as a favour and almost instantly terminated a good relationship with him/her! The question is – Is it all that necessary? I understand that the first immediate response is to shout.
But if you are an elevated person, let me ask you this – what is more important to you – Shouting at someone for the job not done or getting the job done? I am guessing it is the second one which is of the higher priority. The first phase is done, the damage has happened; now we can sit and do a postmortem on it or accept the blame and try solve it better. That’s probably what Oprah is trying to say- raising your voice is definitely easy, the quality of your life and personality, not the easiest bit and that’s perhaps why so few people do it!