Can you accept a feedback at ease?

“Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen.”

-Winston Churchill

When I wrote my first article for the blog, I honestly felt very bad cos I knew that I wasn’t that good at writing, but a voice inside me supported saying “You should write to know how bad you are!” I remember how anxious I was to take a feedback from my brother, I crossed my fingers and hoped to hear all positive but the truth had to reach me. I will admit it, I was bad and the feeling of receiving a criticism scared me and that was the uncomfortable few minutes I had to face for few days.

It’s not very easy for most of us to take unfiltered criticism. A criticism with a polished gesture is what we are happy with. We all want to learn from new trials of life, we sure want people who can correct us and give honest opinions on what’s good and what’s not but what if you get to hear necessary feedback which hurt you? Would you be able to react the same way? Can you take it graciously? I couldn’t, even today I can’t easily welcome it (I am trying on it though!) Even after learning how important it can be for the growth we somewhere are scared to face our results. The thought of getting tested by others scares us many times but what I observed was that the fear increases as I get afraid, it increases exponentially.

I believe learning to fight fears is one of the important lessons in life and it doesn’t come easy, I had to fight over and over and over again and even now it feels as though it is far from reach. Having said that, it also brings in a sense of pride to know the number of fears we have gotten over with time and the promise it bears to face the upcoming ones.

I realize that every situation presents us with only two options – either to accept feedback with all the courage as a lesson or to accept it feeling insulted and unhappy. If I choose the former, my emotional state is firm and positive enough to accept the reality and focus on the next step but if I choose the later I have to spend few minutes feeling sad, then I have to let my mind undergo certain manual changes to get back to normal. If I see which one would be easier… ….I would certainly say the second option is! As that’s the instant normal response most of us show.  But as I question myself as to what helps me. it of course is the first one! I learn it provides the courage to handle pain for some time, it provides positive vibes to attempt further, and it challenges us to bring improvement sooner. I do agree choosing to be sad for a while wouldn’t take away the opportunities of growing but it somehow creates an ambiance which wouldn’t help you get out of it soon.

Every new challenge comes with set of its own criticism and criticizers, its totally an option for us, either to accept it with courage or to let it affect our emotions. It all finally boils down to that one choice! 🙂

10 Responses to "Can you accept a feedback at ease?"

  1. So true. It takes a lot of guts to accept criticism and then work on them to improve oneself. We get angry and defensive.

    1. I agree Abhijit, I think the stock response is to get a little angry, cry fowl and flare at people whos ay that we are wrong. But I guess, none of us really can avoid a feedback. I have felt so many times that I really wish I could, but somehow, it does sneak up on us, esp when we are not ready at all. But maybe that is the beauty of it, we need to take it in our own stride and keep moving forward. There has to be a way ahead and it has to be beautiful 🙂

  2. What an honest post Vinay?! I agree to the first way of accepting criticism and working on it. I believe most of us who write have been through what you’ve been through in your initial days of writing.
    Great post!

    1. Thank you Vinodini.. True, the initial days of writing were terrible, I used to look at the posts for hours together, send it to a couple of friends for their feedback and thoughts on it and then decide whether I should post it or not. Now I think we have published more than 300 articles on the site and it feels so good to be writing now and looking back to see that there is such a remarkable improvement in the writing style and presentation as well. I guess that is what people call it the art of writing which really is nothing but doing it over and over and over again!!!

  3. Always accept criticism positively and gracefully.
    Accept criticism but feel free to say you think it is not justified. Or thank them for their honesty (and courage) and try to move on together.
    Great Post Vinay !!!
    Continue your passion for writing and Best Wishes 🙂

    1. Thank you Veena :). I guess criticism is quite a dicey thing and I have never really realized as to which is the right way to handle it. Sometimes accepting feels right while some other times retaliating feels nice. I guess it depends on the person delivering it as well. If we don’t like them, I guess we are not going to accept it, no matter how sane or sensible it sounds 🙂


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