The 6 Peculiar People Who Advice You!

Posted on Posted in A-Z, How to

Troubles are temporary!

Don’t worry, I will not bug you with this quote! Nor am I going to say that everything is going to be magically alright and life will be hunky dory and you will never have to face anything negative ever again.

people who advice, whose advice should i listen, advicing, preaching peopleWell! There is a word for it – UTOPIA!

Meanwhile in the real world, let us get back to what is bothering us. We all have been through a lot in our lives. So many things we thought we deserved and so many others which we didn’t – like our troubles ;). Well I will not be getting into what was deserved or what was not. Not today.

But today, we are going to talk about what we do about these troubles.

The most natural thing to do when something is bothering us is to go out and seek advice on life.

Here are the 6 types of people who you will find on this journey!

1) TheΒ Optimist

Everything is going to be alright!Β 

Optimist, 6 types of people who advice you, optimist's advice, whose advice should I listen to, what does an optimist sayThis sure is a very soothing thing to hear. But the question you will constantly have on your mind is HOW?

But these kind of people are used to these questions, they say- Eventually the right path will come to you. You have to be patient in your life and discover what life has to offer you.

Some go to the extent of saying that “God is there to support you in your journey. You are not alone”

Meanwhile you are still wondering how to get rid of the troubles you are facing.

But having said that, these people are also extremely important. We all need to hear that things are going to be ok. We all need that hope in life and we all need the push to discover the real solutions to our troubles.

Let us for once base our argument today on the premise that no one else can help you but yourself. We do go out and seek respite – not cos they are going to solve our troubles magically, but sometimes we just need that hope!

We all need that optimist for advice on life!

2) The Sympathetic Ear

There There! Tell me what is bothering you! I am here for you!Β 

listening ear, listening for advice, giving advice, I need adviceThese type of people listen to you no matter how trivial your troubles seem. The assumption here is

My friend is in trouble. I am there for my friend, even if I don’t understand what the problem is, I will be there for them. Atleast talking to me makes them feel better.

These kinds of friends are great, they make you feel important, they don’t neglect you, they don’t make fun of you.

But the trouble is that they don’t even correct you. They don’t give you the advice, not because they don’t want to help you, but because they are trained not to!

Once in a while, we need to hear that we are wrong, it is not that we did not deserve anything. Things happened because there was a mistake and maybe the price paid is heavy, but cribbing about it isn’t going to solve it.

You need someone to push you into action.

3) The Punisher

Blame the victim!Β 

These kind of friends take the complete extreme of tough love. They think that everything is your fault and easily blame you.

In other words they simply say that you are facing it because you made a mistake, you were incapable of something, you were not able to meet the requirements.

These kind of friends play the role of a punisher. When you are down, they sure find a way to push you down further giving you ample reasons to avoid talking to them.

But again, these are important too. Maybe just to realize how stupid people can get in their thoughts πŸ˜€

4) The Preacher

Advice Quote 1: “It is all an act of god/destiny/any other term you want to use here”

Maybe! It might be an act of god! It might be an unfortunate incident.

But that has already caused you the trouble.

We are not here to analyse or develop a post mortem report of your troubles. They have happened and that’s it! Period.

You can fixate on the Why a little later. What you need now is a way out, a solution, not a preacher standing in front of you to convince in the magic of the world.

I agree that the world is magical enough but at times, finding the solution becomes more important.

And once I find that solution, I will be in a better position to appreciate the world!

5) The Expert

No matter what your troubles are, I have the solution!

I have a different word for these kind of people- Egomaniacs! Seriously! Come on!

How can one person have solution to every kind of problem you face in life? They cannot have all answers or all solutions. If they did, they would never have any troubles in life at all.

These are the kind of people who will never connect to you, nor will they understand what you are going through. In other words it is best to avoid them.

However, if you still want to consult the experts, consult the experts in those particular fields.

There is a beauty in extrapolation. If you have overcome a challenge in your life, any challenge at all, it means that you can overcome this too.

All you need is to get into that mindset, try and understand how you can use the same emotions which you used to solve something else.

And if you need to go to an expert for that, go for it. You need the solution, and your solution sometimes becomes more important than your pride!

6) The Empathizer

Advice Quote 2 : What you do speaks so loudly that i cannot hear what you say

– Ralph Waldo Emerson

This is perhaps the best kind of advice you can ever find in this world. The world has enough talkers, the ones who talk right from the mole to a mountain.

There are people who promise the world and deliver a dime! But there are some fascinating people who have fought their way through these challenges in life.

These are the ones who understand what it means to be down and without much support.

These are the people who can sympathize with you.

These are the ones who can really lend you a helping hand, guide you in the right way.

And these are the ones you need to hold close to cos their advice is going to matter to you! And that advice is going to make sense.

The biggest challenge here it to identify who is where. And there are times you will be lucky enough to find every one of these advices in one person. And sometimes you would have to do your search.

But hey! Nothing comes free right?! We all have to pay our fees and that’s ok. We will find our way out.

It is our life and we know how to take care of it right? ;).

PS: If you want to ask for our advice and if you want any suggestion/help or any anonymous advice, please do write to us below using the guest log in. We will be more than happy to help πŸ™‚Β 

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31 thoughts on “The 6 Peculiar People Who Advice You!

  1. Nice post Vinay, I do personally feel that I sometimes hate the expert types of people. I personally think that no one can be an expert of all the fields, and what goes wrong if you do accept that you don’t know about somethings? But there are some people out here who think that they knows everything and feel ashamed if someone came to know that they don’t know something…

    1. Thank you Alok..He he.. I hate the experts too, esp when they have no idea what they are talking about and they go on ranting about what you should do and what advice you should take and what not.. Most times when these people start talking, I really keep wondering if they really mean what they say or they are just saying it for the sake of saying it. Either ways, I have found this kind of advice absolutely useless πŸ˜€

  2. WOW!! This one is super good post… like always πŸ™‚ I guess I fall in the first type and that’s why people sometimes stop sharing their problems with me. Because, they either want super suggestions or someone who can just listen and don’t say anything. Anyways, right one suits the right ones. Thanks for spreading the awareness Vinay πŸ™‚

    1. Thank you Tara :). I personally love writing this post and I think we all have had the opportunity to meet each one of these advisers in our life and I think the best part is we can look back at them and smile and see how much we have progressed and what roles each one of them have played in taking us where we are today :).

      I think we all need a very strong optimist, the hope they portray is amazing to say the least, it gives the purpose and a way out of the fear and a constant soothing feeling that somehow something is going to work our way and everything is going to be alright πŸ™‚

  3. i am tempted to quote from Three Musketeers, “in general, people only ask for advice that they may not follow it; or, if they should follow it, that they may have somebody to blame for having given it”

    1. Thank you I B Arora :). He he, Alexadre Dumas sure knows the reasons behind an advice. I think I do that too. Most times it is easy to say that I did this cos someone asked me to πŸ˜€ ..

      But yeah on the other end, I think it is fun to take our own advice. There is that feel of responsibility which makes the commitment and ownership a lot stronger and easier πŸ™‚ .

      Thank you for the quote, I really liked it πŸ™‚

  4. Very well said. The list certainly contains those people who advice. However, Optimists do give a better mental torch to the problem and make the person see light behind the tunnel.

    1. Thank you Fayaz. I agree, optimists sure show the way in which the effort should be focused. I do have a great amount of respect to these optimists in our life. They sure know how to look at things and how to keep ourselves in the best state of mind.

      There is nothing stronger than the motivation and push of hope πŸ™‚

  5. cool post… the types are so well defined… i am generally not seeking it as i am Always in one hole or other of my own making and have become used to it πŸ˜› but i refrain from giving too as i feel very small saying something when i have not ‘actually’ experienced an ounce of what the other person must have felt…. Yes one can try to put oneself in same shoes .. still giving advice is the most humbling thing … I can only BE WITH the person… more of like ” lets face it together and ‘try’ to sort it together ” Donno :/

    1. Thank you Kokila. I thoroughly enjoyed writing this post :). Kinda fun remembering all those faces while writing this one. I must admit, quite a lot of them came to my mind and a couple of times I even stopped writing to smile and a couple more for a hearty laugh πŸ˜€ ..

      I completely agree and have total respect to this approach Kokila. I keep finding myself too small to give out any advice to anyone. The one thought that keeps driving me though is that I can try and think of a story or a similar experience in my life which I can share with and maybe share my understanding as well. This way if there is anything at all that is useful, then it would be a great advice. If not, it will still be a wonderful story with some laughs :). I think giving advice is a very tricky thing. If only more people thought like you, life would have been so much simpler πŸ™‚

      1. Very true and well put Vinay… First I too had a hearty laugh after reading your initial lines … just by imagining you laughing on those faces πŸ˜€ πŸ˜› …
        And you have used these words ‘sharing , similar experiences, helping .. ‘ which makes the positive side of the coin named advice. Yes this is the type i can relate to πŸ™‚

        1. Thank you Kokila :).. I have always found these human interactions very exciting to say the least and the greatness showed in each one of these simple instances have such brilliant repercussions.. Makes me find an immense amount of respect to this very quality of humanity..

  6. PS . Most importantly, I dislike (hate is too strong a word) the second type… they literally dig into your problems on pretence of help while its just boosting their own non-existent sense of self, pleased that they knew about our problems /weakness …They ACTUALLY feel better /greater by knowing about raw spots of other people … And Am trying hard not to be judgemental ..:(

    1. He he he πŸ˜€ .. My dislike goes to the Experts πŸ˜€ .. Yeah that’s there too, it kinds gives an emotional uplift to a highly insecure person and the type who take pleasure in someone else’s misery.

      It is interesting to see how emotions work in such multitude of ways. Kinda fun and kinda creepy too πŸ˜€ ..

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